son falsely accused of rape and now charged

[Rights Fighter]

............... In the back of my mind I think their case is weak and they are using 2 cautions on his file against him when they did not bother to find out any details about them.

He has two cautions? May I ask what for? If they are completely unrelated to sex offences then that bad character should not be put in any event as they are not relevant.

[mumneedinghelp]

Just a quick one before I go to work. Your son will have to make contribution to legal aid. I will answer your other posts later

He has been granted legal aid and does not have to make a contribution.

[mumneedinghelp]

He has two cautions? May I ask what for? If they are completely unrelated to sex offences then that bad character should not be put in any event as they are not relevant.

He went out with a girl for nearly 3 years and towards the end they were constantly falling out, finishing then making up within a week. After the final break up, about 2 weeks later, my son went on a night out in the town where she lived, got very drunk and decided to go round to see her. He knocked on the door but she wouldn't let him in so he climbed through a window. His ex was there with her sister and he wanted closure on their relationship by finding proof that she was seeing someone else and he knew by looking at texts and pictures on her phone he would get it. He grabbed her phone and ran out of the house. her sister phoned the police and he was arrested but his ex didn't want to press charges so he got a caution. for breaking in and burglary.


The other caution was 18 months ago for punching a lad outside a nightclub and fracturing his jaw. The lad had been spreading rumours that my son had raped a girl. The lad's ex girlfriend told my son what her ex was saying (and he has facebook messages to prove it). My son asked her to find out why he was saying it and then a couple of months before he punched the lad he saw him in the nightclub and asked him to explain why he was saying such lies. The lad denied it and said it was is ex spreading the lies so my son told him to prove it and text him or next time they met he would punch him. When he did punch him the lad reported it to the police but didn't say why he had been punched. My son got a caution when he told the police that the lad had called him a rapist.

The reason that I think the cps have used these cautions is that when he went to the magistrates court at first they wanted to remand him in custody for his own safety because he fainted when charged and he has a suicide flag on his file. When the magistrate disagreed they then mentioned the 2 cautions although they said he punched a woman which was incorrect. The magistrate said this put a different light on it and asked for more details but because both happened in a different police area they didn't have the details and the magistrate granted my son bail and told cps off because they had had 5 months to get the info.

My son is totally disgusted with rape and I know he is innocent. He would report anyone who he thought had committed rape and we have evidence of this.

[BlackLantern]

My Advise,

Just make sure your son really knows you believe his innocence. The hardest thing for me, was wondering weather anyone really believed me, or they just automatically assumed the not guilty position based on our relationship, possibly secretly wondering about my innocence deep beneath.

[mumneedinghelp]

My son and I are very close and I am absolutely sure he is innocent. Of course when the accusation was made there was an initial thought of "I don't believe it but if he was angry could he have done it?" but after talking to him I know he is telling the truth. Like me he is very emotional and and the tears he has shed in the last 6 months are genuine. There is no way in the world he is lying and thankfully he has good friends supporting him. He met his girlfriend after he had been arrested and straight away he told her what was happening and she has been his rock and kept him positive.

[mumneedinghelp]

He has two cautions? May I ask what for? If they are completely unrelated to sex offences then that bad character should not be put in any event as they are not relevant.

Hi Rights Fighter. I detailed his 2 cautions 3 days ago but there has been no comment from you. I would appreciate your feedback please

[Rights Fighter]

it seems they are using (or tried to use) the cautions as a reason to remand him into custody.

I would be surprised if they are used against him at trial unless the present allegations involve some sort of physical assault. Even then the Crown would have to argue that they are relevant to the current matter.

[mumneedinghelp]

We had a letter from the solicitors today stating the prosecution case. My son laughed at parts of her statement and said it is a pack of lies and doesn't make sense how she has described events. The police have lied about being unable to access contents of facebook messages. Initially my son gave them his password, then they wrote to him asking him to print the messages and post to them which he did, then they phoned and said they hadn't received them so he printed them out again and took them in on his next bail date. The police have made comments that make him sound like a gigolo or sex mad. Around the alleged offence date they say the analysis shows that he had been in contact with numerous females through dating websites, SMS text messages, phone calls and facebook and that the content of the messages appears to be exclusively around arranging dates or meeting with women. Do they have to show evidence of this? He does talk to a lot of females but many are just friends he talks to onlineor by text and if he arranges to meet someone it is only one or maybe two at a time and only at the end of a relationship.. It also states that he looked at pornography for extended periods of time on the day prior to the alleged incident and on the day of the incident. I didn't think this was a crime but I feel it sounds bad and that they are implying that because of this of course he raped her.

We are going to fight this because she is lying but I don't feel so positive now.

Can't her activity on dating sites etc be looked at because she has had 3 times as many sexual partners than my son. The police have said that because of the extent of damage to her phone they were unable to retrieve any data but they can find out from the mobile company how many texts and calls she made in that period.

I wanted information so we had something to work on but now I've seen it the information added about mobile phone analysis that worries me.

[Casehardened]

We are going to fight this because she is lying but I don't feel so positive now.


I wanted information so we had something to work on but now I've seen it the information added about mobile phone analysis that worries me.

Hi,

Obviously it is the prosecutions job to put the worst possible interpretation on your son's [perfectly ordinary!] actions in order to try to secure a conviction.

However they have shown their hand in that now your son will have a very good idea of what questions are coming his way in cross-examination.

I would recommend that you take time to look at the paperwork together and then suggest to him that he has actually done these things and get him to verbally defend himself; he is then likely to get less flustered when this happens for real in court.

[mumneedinghelp]

I phoned the solicitor last week to arrange a meeting with him for my son and me but he said that as the file of evidence was due on June 3rd it would be better to arrange a meeting after that date to get the most out of the meeting. When we didn't receive a call from him yesterday I phoned him this afternoon and he said the evidence hadn't arrived and they had faxed the Prosecution and he would call us when he heard from them. Later this afternoon he phoned to say that the Prosecution have asked for an extension of 2 weeks because they haven't got all the info from the police and it will be granted because my son is on bail. We have arranged to meet with the solicitor on Thursday.


Is this common for the Prosecution to ask for an extension? My son said 'but they must have had evidence to charge me so why the delay'. I think it is disgusting. It is now nearly 7 months since he was charged.

[is there justice?]

I phoned the solicitor last week to arrange a meeting with him for my son and me but he said that as the file of evidence was due on June 3rd it would be better to arrange a meeting after that date to get the most out of the meeting. When we didn't receive a call from him yesterday I phoned him this afternoon and he said the evidence hadn't arrived and they had faxed the Prosecution and he would call us when he heard from them. Later this afternoon he phoned to say that the Prosecution have asked for an extension of 2 weeks because they haven't got all the info from the police and it will be granted because my son is on bail. We have arranged to meet with the solicitor on Thursday.


Is this common for the Prosecution to ask for an extension? My son said 'but they must have had evidence to charge me so why the delay'. I think it is disgusting. It is now nearly 7 months since he was charged.

MNH, I agree that it is disgusting. It's a common theme on here, the endless waiting and with it, the mental torture. I don't think defence sols should have to be forever chasing the prosecution. The info should be there in a timely manner to allow adequate preparation or the case should fall. Bring in some set time limits!
Still waiting to see exactly what hubby is supposed to have done although his plea hearing is Friday

[mumneedinghelp]

We had the meeting with the solicitor a week ago and the draft defence statement arrived in the post this morning. I have had a quick look at it and there are quite a few changes to make as well as additions. I'm not sure if is all relevant but it is things that I think ought to be said. I know we can't refer to the number of sexual partners she has had in the past or that she had previously been raped but we will certainly disagree with most of what she has said. I am eager to get on with it but my son has said he doesn't want to think about it until tomorrow because he is going out tonight. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a brick wall because he is so laid back and I am doing all the work and the worrying!!
It looks like the prosecution have not met the deadline for the evidence again as it was due on Thursday, after a 2 week extension, and the solicitor said he would phone when it arrived. I think that if they don't meet the deadlines the case should be thrown out. The solicitor says that everything always takes longer when the accused is on bail because there is not the urgency that there is for those on remand.
We are waiting to meet the barrister which should be soon as it is only 3 weeks to the plea date. His CV looks good and he spent 2 years as a prosecutor of rape cases so he has seen both sides.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi MNH , it's good you've got something to work on. I can understand your fraustration over your son, I had the same thing and it sometimes became an issue of stress between us, and I was afraid of being directly linked in his mind with what was happening to him. As he was away from home during term-time, I didn't want to bring it up everytime we spoke on the phone, but sometimes had to.
In the end I decided that I would rather he was trying to lead a normal a life as possible, going out with his friends etc then locking himself up in his bedroom, shell-shocked and suicidal .
We came to a deal in the holdays before the court-case, that we would work on it or discuss it for anything up to an hour every day at a set time. Beyond that time I agreed not to bring it up. Sometimes, it was very hard on him, but I kept him to it and I kept my side of the bargain, as I realised I had to ease off too.

In then end I think it's difficult for them (or anyone for that matter) to really believe it's for real, and living for the moment is a way of not facing what's happening. I describe it at a panick-induced inertia.
It's also very hard for us mums to find the right level of support while trying to cope with our own fears and concerns.

Very best of luck with it. Try doing short bits at a time with him, it might go down better.

[mumneedinghelp]

Hi MNH , it's good you've got something to work on. I can understand your fraustration over your son, I had the same thing and it sometimes became an issue of stress between us, and I was afraid of being directly linked in his mind with what was happening to him. As he was away from home during term-time, I didn't want to bring it up everytime we spoke on the phone, but sometimes had to.
In the end I decided that I would rather he was trying to lead a normal a life as possible, going out with his friends etc then locking himself up in his bedroom, shell-shocked and suicidal .
We came to a deal in the holdays before the court-case, that we would work on it or discuss it for anything up to an hour every day at a set time. Beyond that time I agreed not to bring it up. Sometimes, it was very hard on him, but I kept him to it and I kept my side of the bargain, as I realised I had to ease off too.

In then end I think it's difficult for them (or anyone for that matter) to really believe it's for real, and living for the moment is a way of not facing what's happening. I describe it at a panick-induced inertia.
It's also very hard for us mums to find the right level of support while trying to cope with our own fears and concerns.

Very best of luck with it. Try doing short bits at a time with him, it might go down better.

Hi there. I think I am dealing with the situation in a similar way to you and letting him lead a normal life as possible. He has recounted what happened on the day of the accusation to the police twice and the solicitor once and every time his account of what happened in the flat is the same with minor details added. If the trial was just about what happened on the day I would hope that the jury would see how ridiculous her story was. What I fear though is that the prosecution will really get stuck in because he texted and phoned her constantly the day before and called her names and make out that he was so angry that it was his intention to rape her. I know this was not the case and he was just lashing out because he was upset and he cried into my arms on the Saturday evening and said he had to see her face to face and find out if she was seeing someone else or not and get closure if she was.

I wish he could find a nice girl somewhere who just wanted to be with him and not have someone else as backup or issues because of past relationships. He is totally off girls at the moment because 2 ex's have now become bosom pals and are taunting him on facebook. Things were so much simpler when I was looking for love and there was no facebook, dating sites and mobile phones.

[myhome]

HI MNH - I can really understand your frustration at doing all the digging and researching whilst your son is trying to lead his life as though nothing has happened. Everyone copes in different ways and perhaps he's "content" to let you do what you're doing because he doesn't have to think about it.

However, whilst that helps him, it leaves you burdened with the responsibility of building a defence for him with little or no support for yourself - which is not good for you.....WGO way of spending a certain time every day (and only that time) discussing things together is a great one - you can also designate a room/place in the house/shed/garage where you do this and nowhere else, which means you also have a physical "barrier" which shuts it off from you as well.

At some stage though, your son will have to face this and learn what his defence is and how it will be presented in court if it goes that far......

Keep strong - hugs MH