my son falsy accused of rape

[bookworm123]

Already tried to post this in another thread but prob got lost . My son is 24 years old and was falsy accused of rape by an ex girlfriend , the police found no evidence and she dropped the allegation . In Nov 2012 he was served with court papers for a non molestation order , she claimed he had been stalking her , raping her and assaulting her for months and she fears for her life . Now after the original accusation my son became very depressed and shakes all the time , does not sleep and wont eat much , he has been virtually housebound , refusing even friends invites for nights out . She did contact him a few times during these months and he ignored her and deleted her from his facebook ( we have the evidence ) . I attended the preliminary hearing with my son who talked to the judge but the ex girlfriend did a runner from the court ! On the 28th of this month we have to go to the hearing to go over statements with the judge and bring witnesses . My fear is even with no evidence and a history of self harming and blaming others for the wounds and 2 ex boyfriends who she had arrested and charged with rape ( both times she retracted the allegations ) this woman will get the order granted and have a hold over my sons life . I dont think he is strong enough to cope and i am worried about suicide . He is a very gentle person and layed back and most girls do just walk all over him , he has no confidence or fight left in him . I would welcome any and all advice from anyone at the moment .

[Faith]

Sounds like you spoke to a very ill informed solicitor. I still can't believe there are legal bodies out there who would claim that every accuser is telling the truth but alas, in every walk of life, we find the 'no smoke without fire' brigade...even in professions that should know a lot better.

If you are as far as a preliminary hearing, am I to assume that your son has been charged? Or is this solely a none molestation order without a criminal case?

[bookworm123]

no my son was never charged as there was no evidence it was an historical accusation and she later retracted her statement to them . he has not seen her or communicated with her for months and has ignored her attempts to talk. After she dropped the allegation she continued to see victim support and lied to them . think she made these things up in sessions with her councillors and they have suggested the non molestation order , basically her lies have snowballed and she wont admit to it as she has too much to lose ie , victims compensation , a new flat and all the attention and pissing off my son when he refused to go back out with him, my main concern is my sons well being , he went on a rare visit to a friends house at christmas and he was viciously beaten by two men who pushed there way in , we think they did it because they thought he was a rapist . Its destroying his life

[myhome]

Hi Bookworm123
welcome to the forum - but sorry you had to find us. It is a great place to be for anyone in your and your son's position. You will get a wealth of advice and support on here......MH

[friday]

Hi and welcome

You are and your son have found yourselves in a very difficult situation. Understandably your son is a wreck. Has he sought any support from his GP? His GP may be able to arrange counselling or medication if it is appropriate. If I was you I would also encourage him to get out the house as much as possible. Staying in only makes depression worse. Could you ask him to go to the shops for you? Even getting out in the daylight for 5 minutes helps. Did he report the attack that happened over christmas? Whether he has or not he is entitled to support from victim support. I understand his accuser is also seeking "support" from them so is there more than one service in the area?

What support are you getting? Do you have family or friends you can talk to? It is very important you look after yourself or you will not be able to support your son.

[Rights Fighter]

Bookworm said:
My fear is even with no evidence and a history of self harming and blaming others for the wounds and 2 ex boyfriends who she had arrested and charged with rape ( both times she retracted the allegations )............

The solicitor should be requesting information about this. She seems to have a habit of retracting allegations of rape..... I can understand one false retraction depending on the circumstances, but three?????

[bookworm123]

Hi and welcome

You are and your son have found yourselves in a very difficult situation. Understandably your son is a wreck. Has he sought any support from his GP? His GP may be able to arrange counselling or medication if it is appropriate. If I was you I would also encourage him to get out the house as much as possible. Staying in only makes depression worse. Could you ask him to go to the shops for you? Even getting out in the daylight for 5 minutes helps. Did he report the attack that happened over christmas? Whether he has or not he is entitled to support from victim support. I understand his accuser is also seeking "support" from them so is there more than one service in the area?

What support are you getting? Do you have family or friends you can talk to? It is very important you look after yourself or you will not be able to support your son.

Thankyou for replying , yes his attackers were arrested within hours , they have been charged and looks like my son will have to testify in court . This sounds awful but im not too worried about this case as there is lots of evidence and plenty of witnesses , its the rape accusations that are getting him down. he is afraid if he goes out the house his ex will pick that day and time to accuse him of something and he wont be able to alibi himself . I have booked him into to see his GP next week hopefully to refer him for counciling. Just still seething with anger , as a woman i cannot get my head around the fact that some women do this to innocent men . Iv been cheated on , lied to and dumped , i call it life, You get over it and move on it would never occur to me to ruin someones life this way x

[bookworm123]

The solicitor should be requesting information about this. She seems to have a habit of retracting allegations of rape..... I can understand one false retraction depending on the circumstances, but three?????

Yes its true ,the nonmolestation order was a shock and as my son could not afford legal advice i turned detective and got as many statements as i could , only had about five daysuntil the preliminary hearing. i found out that the woman concerned has already reported two other men ( a one night stand and an ex partner ) of rape . Both men were arrested and charged , she later withdrew the allegations . Her own best friend gave me details and wrote a statement against her, i think it was this statement that caused her to run out of the hearing and refuse to talk to the judge . I dont know which solicitor you are refering to as its a civil matter my son cannot get legal aid and the solicitor who gave him 5 free minutes hinted he was guilty and offered to attend the 10 minute hearing for £800 .

[Casehardened]

Hi,

If I have understood correctly, the rape allegation against your son has been dropped by the police due to lack of evidence and therefore the only issue at present it that of the non-molestation order presently being considered by the court.


For this order to be granted the court must be satisfied that the two parties concerned have been previously in a relationship (and you mentioned she was an ex-girlfriend) but also that there has already been subsequent harassment.

Therefore she must be able to show the court that he has already stalked/assaulted/raped her and presumably she did a runner from the court when the judge questioned her on these points! Obviously as they are false allegations she couldn't back them up with evidence or witnesses.

As you can't get legal aid you must present your own case to the court. You mentioned that your son has become reclusive and I assume the statements you have obtained will confirm this. Confirmation that the rape allegation is not being taken forward by the CPS will be important evidence in his favour. Also can you think of an independent witness (i.e. not a relative) who would be prepared to attend the hearing and state that your son rarely leaves the house, and is not on his own when he does go out.

I agree with you that if this order is granted, it would give a vindictive ex the power to make his life miserable, but if you can show the alleged harassment has not already taken place the court should not grant it.

[bookworm123]

Hi,

If I have understood correctly, the rape allegation against your son has been dropped by the police due to lack of evidence and therefore the only issue at present it that of the non-molestation order presently being considered by the court.


For this order to be granted the court must be satisfied that the two parties concerned have been previously in a relationship (and you mentioned she was an ex-girlfriend) but also that there has already been subsequent harassment.

Therefore she must be able to show the court that he has already stalked/assaulted/raped her and presumably she did a runner from the court when the judge questioned her on these points! Obviously as they are false allegations she couldn't back them up with evidence or witnesses.

As you can't get legal aid you must present your own case to the court. You mentioned that your son has become reclusive and I assume the statements you have obtained will confirm this. Confirmation that the rape allegation is not being taken forward by the CPS will be important evidence in his favour. Also can you think of an independent witness (i.e. not a relative) who would be prepared to attend the hearing and state that your son rarely leaves the house, and is not on his own when he does go out.

I agree with you that if this order is granted, it would give a vindictive ex the power to make his life miserable, but if you can show the alleged harassment has not already taken place the court should not grant it.

Thanks for replies im sure i could get a witness to do this whenever we have visitors they always comment on my sons state ie unwashed , depressed never going out . i am determined my son will never go to prison for something he has not done i would hide him if i had to as i know he would not survive . Got him GP appointment Monday morning x

[bookworm123]

well the hearing is on monday and i have a question if any one can help ? my son only recieved the accusers witness statements 2 weeks ago but he was given a cut off date of 11th jan to get in all his paperwork to the judge and her solicitors. now these witness statements gave exact dates when he was supposed to have assaulted her( her statement was vague and had no dates ) and it took us a couple of days to backtrack and find where he was at these times , thankfully he can account for his whereabouts and has written a second statement to counter these statements . his second statement was send registered post and would have been recieved by them wednesday this week. will the judge allow these statements as they arrived after the cut off date . they are crucial as his accuser was so vague about when things happened that he could not really defend her original claims as he did not know when they were even supposed to have happened , she would say things like " the week commencing " or " a few weeks ago " . really worried as now with dates he is more confident about defending himself but only if the judge even bother to reads them x

[the advocate]

well the hearing is on monday and i have a question if any one can help ? my son only recieved the accusers witness statements 2 weeks ago but he was given a cut off date of 11th jan to get in all his paperwork to the judge and her solicitors. now these witness statements gave exact dates when he was supposed to have assaulted her( her statement was vague and had no dates ) and it took us a couple of days to backtrack and find where he was at these times , thankfully he can account for his whereabouts and has written a second statement to counter these statements . his second statement was send registered post and would have been recieved by them wednesday this week. will the judge allow these statements as they arrived after the cut off date . they are crucial as his accuser was so vague about when things happened that he could not really defend her original claims as he did not know when they were even supposed to have happened , she would say things like " the week commencing " or " a few weeks ago " . really worried as now with dates he is more confident about defending himself but only if the judge even bother to reads them x

Bookworm, The following is based on my experience of non-mol proceedings and the procedure in the (civil) county court.

I believe that your son's statements would be admissible by the judge. Normally the 'orders' to submit statements give deadlines, but in many cases these are not kept. Subsequent statements are admissible, and even if the other side try to argue they shouldn't be, the judges will normally follow the basic principole which has been established in a number of cases.

This principle is that to grant a non mol order is agreat restriction on someone's liberty, and that it should only be done as a matter of necessity, not a matter of course. If a judge is thinking to grant one, (s)he should give every opportunuity to the person against whom the order is granted to persuade the court that it shouldn't be, Therefore the statements should be admissible.

Don't forget taht if the judge is thinking of granting one against your son (and on the basis of what you've collected as evidence it seems unlikely) there should be a specific end date on the order, normally no more than 6 months. Also, if it looks like going against your son, and he's representing himself, do feel free to ask for an adjournment for a week or so, so that you can get proper legal advice.

[Rights Fighter]

Originally Posted by Rights Fighter
The solicitor should be requesting information about this. She seems to have a habit of retracting allegations of rape..... I can understand one false retraction depending on the circumstances, but three?????

Yes its true ,the nonmolestation order was a shock and as my son could not afford legal advice i turned detective and got as many statements as i could , only had about five daysuntil the preliminary hearing. i found out that the woman concerned has already reported two other men ( a one night stand and an ex partner ) of rape . Both men were arrested and charged , she later withdrew the allegations . Her own best friend gave me details and wrote a statement against her, i think it was this statement that caused her to run out of the hearing and refuse to talk to the judge . I dont know which solicitor you are refering to as its a civil matter my son cannot get legal aid and the solicitor who gave him 5 free minutes hinted he was guilty and offered to attend the 10 minute hearing for £800 .

I was referring to a criminal defence solicitor. My apologies but I thought there is a criminal matter ongoing too?

[Boys don't cry]

Bookworm.

I would like to welcome you to the forum (even though it's a little bite late).

I am myself under a non molestation order since February 2012 and it should end next month.
My false accuser managed to extend it until May and I am even pleased with it.
I told my barrister that she is dangerous and I don't want to go near her.
I would even be scared to meet her in the street.

I am not sure why you are shocked about it because I find it safer for me.
I am not allowed to go 100m near the house and knowing her,she would love me to make a mistake.

The advocate wrote "a non mol order is a great restriction on someone's liberty",I do agree with this fact
but in my opinion it is also a great solution to preserve your liberty.

I hope your son is feeling better.I do understand and feel for him.
Take care both of you.

[bookworm123]

Bookworm.

I would like to welcome you to the forum (even though it's a little bite late).

I am myself under a non molestation order since February 2012 and it should end next month.
My false accuser managed to extend it until May and I am even pleased with it.
I told my barrister that she is dangerous and I don't want to go near her.
I would even be scared to meet her in the street.

I am not sure why you are shocked about it because I find it safer for me.
I am not allowed to go 100m near the house and knowing her,she would love me to make a mistake.

The advocate wrote "a non mol order is a great restriction on someone's liberty",I do agree with this fact
but in my opinion it is also a great solution to preserve your liberty.

I hope your son is feeling better.I do understand and feel for him.
Take care both of you.

thankyou both for sound advice feel better knowing the judge will most likely read later statements dont even feel worried or stressed i have gone into numb mode and hope i stay that way till after hearing am so totally drained , we have lots of evidence and witness support , the accusers witnesses are both support workers and they both only repeat what she has told them they are not witnesses to her and my sons relationship . i will let you all know how the hearing goes , thankyou x