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I wish he would have killed me atleast then it would be quick pain rather than this everlasting pain... it hurts too much:'( My counsellor spoke to the police woman today, the police have been so nice. She is going to give me a ring today although i cant see what the policewoman has to say its all over now, they let my rapist get away with it... the end. What more is it to say? They have been so nice to me but to them its just another case.
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The fact that he didn't kill you means you have the opportunity to start enjoying life again once you've come to terms with what happened. It may take some time. But you won't stay as upset as you are forever. Things will change.
Do you have any people around you who can give you support and comfort?My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the Supernatural -
Hello EmyOriginally posted by emy2005@15th July 2005 - 01:08 PM
I wish he would have killed me atleast then it would be quick pain rather than this everlasting pain... it hurts too much:'( My counsellor spoke to the police woman today, the police have been so nice. She is going to give me a ring today although i cant see what the policewoman has to say its all over now, they let my rapist get away with it... the end. What more is it to say? They have been so nice to me but to them its just another case.
This is not the end, believe me. He now has charges for rape on his file, and even if they didn't convict him this time, the charges will always be there on his file. Maybe other women will come forward in time, and then you will see justice done. If he does this again, the likelyhood is that he will be convicted, and you will see him behind bars.
I really do know how you feel. I have felt that my life is over, in ruins, trashed, and that I will never recapture the "normal" life I had before. My heart has been broken, and it will not mend.
The best form of revenge is survival. If you allow him to destroy your life like this, he will have the ultimate power over you. In general rape is not really about sexual gratification, it is about power. By not allowing him to wreck your life, you are denying him this power. I am lucky in that I have never been raped, but I have had my life destroyed by a malicious, vindictive liar, and I do understand the feeling that you just can't go on. But your spirit has reserves of strength that you can never imagine.
You have come so far. Look back on how your life was immediately after you were raped. Did you think you would be able to take it to the police and all the way to trial? I know it didn't result in a conviction, but you tried your best. You can rest knowing that you took it as far as you could. All of us on this site have had some experience of the "justice" system in this country, and some of us feel damaged as a result. Please try to comfort yourself with the knowledge that you did what was right, and reported him. You gave evidence, you stood up in front of a jury, and above all you told the truth. You should be proud of yourself.
Stay strong. Thinking of you.
Saffron xComment
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