putting the rapist to prison...will it bring me a sense of normality?

[isi]

thanks friday and saffron.

Still got itchy feet to report him and get some sense of closure - sorry I know that sounds so American!

Just cant quite plucj up the courage to say it out loud to someone. And I think that is the hardest part to say it out loud. Somehow you always feel like you have done something to deserve these things that it really was my fault and that if I had done something different then my life would not have gone the way it did and how it is controlling my life now. Its not fair.. And this is what makes me want to reporrt him. he has no realisation of the damage he has done and he needs to be punished and stopped from doing it again ...

[RFLH]

If you need to go, take someone with you for support.

It sounds as if you can't move on until you've had the wrong righted.

I'm heartsore for you, be strong.

[Saffron]

I agree with RFLH, isi. Is there someone you can take with you? That might make things easier. The likelihood is that if you do report him, you will be treated with gentle respect by the police. But this is your decision, not anyone else's. If you cannot rest until you have at least tried to do something about it, then by all means go for it. If it will cause you more distress to report it, then wait. One day you will be strong enough.

S xx

[friday]

have you tried writing it down? i know that helped me to remember to mention all the details, no matter how trivial they seemed. i also found that buy writing the words down they seemed less horrible because i could see they were nothing more than a string of letters. this didnt completely solve the issue (i still can't say the names of certain parts of the body) but it made reporting rape a hell of a lot easier than when i first went into the police station and said "i want to report a thing a man did to me when i didnt want him to"
i also practised saying words out loud in my room to desensitise them.

not sure if this will be of any use to you but you never know.

[RFLH]

good post Friday.