putting the rapist to prison...will it bring me a sense of normality?

[isi]

As put in my previous thread about my experiences from the age of 15.... child prostitution. rape. kidnap. violence and probably much more I just dont jnow the names for it all....

Well it has been playing on my mind about going to the police. I jnow that justice was served with my ex partner and I stood up to him. But now I ask myself why I cant 'try' and bring justice to that evil person from my past.

I dont want to go into things too much so publicly but it has really affected every aspect of my living and I do wonder sometimes if I will get some peace knowing that I have at least tried to do something about it.

I was even thinjing of contacting CROP to speak to someone from there but have not plucjed up the courage. I donnt know if I am opening a can of worms that should be left well alone.

I really wish I could try and forget about it all but I am finding it really hard and dont k now what to do? somedays I am quite positive about it all and other days I just want to die.

what would you do if you were me?

[RFLH]

I can't say would I would do if I were you - it's your experience.

But I can empathise.

Have you had any counselling? I'm sure it would help you. Going over and over it negatively must be as damaging as the act itself as nothing positive is helping you.

I've not taken a counselling course and so I'm loathe to try and help that way. You always hear of 'talking helps' but I'm sure if reliving it without being able to channel it constructively may well do more harm than good as you can't move on from it.

Ask your doctor about counselling.

[friday]

if it happened a long time ago then a few more months wont change the trial (dna evidence etc will not exists anymore) so why not talk it through with someone, write down everything you can remember etc and then decide if you want to go to the police.

i have no idea what happened to you and so cant possibly say if there would be enough evidence for a trial BUT if someone else reports this person and it is similar then there may be enough evidence for a trial based on similar fact.

i hope you make the decision that feels right for you at this moment. yes it would be brilliant to get all the evil people off the streets but not if in the process it destroys the good people.

i dont know what CROP is (assuming its a service in your area or police team) but i'm sure they would be happy to listen and talk things through with you.

x

[Rights Fighter]

CROP:

http://www.crop1.org.uk/

CROP is a voluntary organisation working to end the sexual exploitation of children and young people by pimps and traffickers

CROP was founded in 1996 by Irene Ivison whose 17-year-old daughter Fiona was murdered in 1993, three weeks after being coerced into working in street prostitution by a known pimp. She supported many parents in similar situations by personal contact and advice. Tragically she died in 2000.

ISI said: As put in my previous thread about my experiences from the age of 15.... child prostitution. rape. kidnap. violence and probably much more I just dont jnow the names for it all....

Why probably much more?

[friday]

^thanks for posting what CROP is, saves me looking it up.

perhaps isi means she knows that things happened to her that aren't normal/acceptable but she doesn't know what they are called?

i'm sure she will clarify it.

[isi]

Friday. that is exaxtly what I meant. there are probably so many technical terms that describe the things I have been through.

And yes there is dna evidence - I have his daughter. I have scars on my hands and my back. I have had the police pick me up in the middleof the night and take me to safe places. Visits to a n e bleeding from cuts and various other places.

There is potentially evidence and I can remember the key things. key places. And there is other stuff too. I have witnesses to it all too.

Anyway I dont know what to do? Councelling - I have that already but have not mentioned about thinkin about reporting him. I guess I am just really scared and it seems easier to leave the past alone even though it really bothers me.

RF = why did you question my = probably? I am curious... what did you think I meant?

[Rights Fighter]

In the context you had written - the word "probably" sounded like you were not quite sure what actually had happened. Or if it had.

No problem!

[isi]

I know exactly what happened - you make it sound like I am telling lies! or something to that effect......

[Saffron]

Isi, I am sure that isn't what RF meant. The use of your "probably" seemed to indicate that you weren't certain, perhaps due to the emotional trauma, and the fact that you were a child when these things happened to you.
As we know, RF has been on both sides, r/v and f/a herself, and I genuinely don't think she meant to cast doubt on what you were saying.
Please don't be upset.
And my two penn'orth - you have nothing to lose by reporting him. He may have other allegations against him already, or other people may be thinking of reporting him. It sounds like you have plenty of corroborative evidence and witnesses. And as you say, even just trying to get justive may bring you some closure.
Saffron x

[RFLH]

isi, I agree with what Saffron has said.

RF is so adept at dealing with appeals that every word is seized, examined and acted upon. Which makes her one of the best people to have in your corner when you are falsely accused.

You're not being got at honest - she pulls me up in my email messages to her!

[friday]

the only issue really is whether reporting would help you or be more than you can handle at the moment. whatever you choose your wellbeing is the most important thing.

[Saffron]

Well said Friday.
Isi, if you are feeling strong enough, then by all means go for it! But if it will cause you distress, then wait.
Thinking of you x

[frankgallagherwasere]

Poor ISI, I understand your sense of taking sides and the thought of us and them Victims against Criminals. However what you should appreciate and understand is that I wouldnt think anyone on this forum is against you or your views thought and feelings.

IF someone has done wrong they should be punished, no one I think questions that, however because so many have been falsely accused then its not surprising that some should say - stick to the facts not fiction. AS I said before, CRown like fiction they like the sexed up statements, it makes their jobs easiler and defending so much harder.

If anyone has done wrong - they should be punished and accept their guilty and although many dont, I think that proves just how sick they really are and deserve everything they get when or if convicted !! BUt when people lie and exaggerate their case they are no better they are criminals too as their motives are not simple punishment its a sinister ploy to destroy someone else and its them who are sick...........

Isi its your choice and no one should question your rights to report a crime, what happens after that is open to so many factors its anyones guess what might or could happen, but that isnt what your post is about - YES REPORT IT. Then you might see another side of the law that brings so many of us on to this board.

[friday]

just to clarify, isi. no one is suggesting you are exaggerating or creating stories. we all believe you 100% and want the scum of the earth off the streets as much as you do. some of us on here have not had justice served. others have. and we want you to be mentally strong enough to deal with the worst case scenario, that he is found not guilty. even if he is found guilty you need to be able to deal with the memories it will drag back up and also have people around to support you.

each barrister is a human being and therefore may be understanding, or an arse. there are laws to protect victims of sexual crimes and vulnerable witnesses, however these are routinely ignored by some barristers.

as you will know your soit officer can be an amazing source of support but they can't help too much after court ends.

if you don't feel able to report it yet, do not beat yourself up. many people never feel strong enough to report and you have already done something which few people are brave enough to do by going to court. whenever you feel ready, if ever, is the right time for you. you are in control of this situation, not him or anyone else.

x

[Saffron]

Well done Friday. You have managed express very articulately what I have verbally mumbled over. Thank you!
Isi, I hope you are OK. Look after yourself. xx