My wife was raped

[dontknowwhattodo]

Hi

I'm not really sure why I'm typing this, to anyone, because I thought I could cope, but I can't, and I'm not the one that was raped!

My wife was date raped about 5 years ago, before we met, by a friend who was a police officer. It's taken till now for her to start dealing with it, after many years of masking her feelings with alcohol and weed, it was time to deal with her feelings.

We got together just over a year ago, although we had known each other for 3 years, and ot married soon after.

She did tell me about the rape, as much as she could, but since the wedding it all went wrong, intimacy died, completely, and I fear we are drifting apart. She is now seeing a counsellor, to help her, but I feel, I don't know what I feel, and this is scary.

I want to help, to understand, but its taboo, she cant talk to me about it, and I dont know what to do, what to say, how to be.

Be myself? show sympathy, empathy, say what???

Has anyone else out there been through this? any advice?

I know this seems so belittling to those of you out there that are going, or have been through much worse, but I want to help my wife, I love her, and want to be there for her, to make this path an easy one to follow.

In need of advice...

[RFLH]

I've no real advice - apart from just be there. When the counselling is up and running and she can face what's happened to her and begin to deal with it, she may well turn to you and need your support and the healing process can begin.

She may well need closure and decide that she needs to prosecute the man and she'll need a lot of support then too.

All in all, just keep on doing what you're doing - it's the right thing to do.

Just my opinion of course!