i dont know if i was raped

[friday]

Unregistered-you make some valid points about alcohol not meaning it isnt rape and the fact the majority of rape victims not having injuries. as i said if flemma was unable to consent because she had passed out from drinking then of course it is rape and if she didnt fight then she probably did the most sensible thing. if you want to get out in one piece then its best not to try fight.

what we are all saying, is basically what you would be asked in court. and worse. for it to even end up in court will need the police to believe it happened and then it goes to magistrates and then if its believed to be a strong case it goes to crown court, occasionally twice if its a hung jury. and even after all that its more likely that he would walk away "not guilty" or get aquitted, meaning the victim has gone through over a year of hell on top of the trauma of being raped in the first place.

im telling her what i wished someone had told me because i never would have gone to court if i knew he would get off and if i knew just how horrific it would be.

i understand that i may come across a little cold or harsh but to get through court ive had to become someone that i never wanted to be. i guess you really become an adult when you realise that the "good guys" (police, court etc) don't always triumph, but more importantly that you have to keep on the right side of the law because if you dont you will be no better than him. when you have a great job, beautiful family etc he will still be nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a man and it sounds awful but i hope he never forgets that night because if the memories dont make him shudder then he is truly empty. and if he is that dead inside then he will never be truly happy. and whilst it may be difficult to get on with your life, and things wont happen as you expected them to before being raped, you can still become everything you want to be and make an identity for yourself that doesnt try to forget what happened but realises what strength of character you must have had for surviving, and continuing to survive.

[webmoo]

I don't think you should accuse someone of rape it you can't remember.

A conviction is not likely after this time, I agree. However, this person may have attacked other women and it doesn't make it not rape.

abcd; through no fault of the forum owners here, there are other forums on the net where only survivors post and to be honest, I find them healthier places to be. Aftersilence is one worth trying. No offence mods but to have the fact that you were raped questioned by people is really hurtful for most rape survivors but due to the nature of this site, it's sometimes inevitable that it happens.

Hi,

Sorry this took a while to get approved - it disappeared from the mod queue and I have no idea why - I have just run some checks and found about 8 posts all waiting to be approved that weren't showing up in the queue. Odd.

Anyway, in response to your point, it is unfortunately a problem that we face. It's difficult to keep an eye on and it's also hard knowing where to draw the line sometimes. However, the best solution I can say is to report the post if you think someone has stepped out of line. Again, different people will have different views of what is 'over the line', and it is often impossible to please everybody, but it is something to keep in mind.

Thanks!