Hello, apologies in advance, this may be a bit long.

[Tibblesmum]

Update!

I'm well and truly back at work now. I've finished all the graduated return, this is my first week back full time. It's turning out quite well. I've picked up the work pretty quick, and understand a lot of it, which helps and they're pleased with me, which is another big weight off my mind.

Hygienist visit went well, and my teeth look lovely. She said she's got some deeper stuff to do, but she'll do that in another six months time. Lucky me She was good tho, only used a hand pick thing first of all, then finished them off with a polisher and some polish. So nothing nasty. Thank heaven, I'm glad about that, at least I know roughly what I'm in for next time.

Am feeling great now, better than I have for over a year, so it's been brewing for a good while. Am weaning myself the meds now, as I've been on them six months, so the Dr wants me to miss every other one for eight capsules (started that last Tuesday, so it's no., four tonight) If I feel well after that, then reduce it some more. Take one every two days and so on. So far, so good. Any problems, go back to every other day, and try again. And not to be afraid to go back and see them any time. No complaints about the NHS where we are!!

Thanks again for the support, there is light at the end of that tunnel, it's just a long hard slog to get there. It's so worth it tho.

xxx

[RFLH]

Well! You've come on leaps and bounds over the past few months - so many congratulations on that, its wonderful to see the difference.

Life is on the up for you now and you can start enjoying it properly - complete with a perfect set of gnashers!!

So .............. onwards and upwards and drop in from time to time to update your progress.

Start living and have some fun.

[Tibblesmum]

Two steps forward, one step back. . .

Oh dear, I was doing so well too. I had my OHS appointment on Friday 22nd, and that so happened to coincide with day two of my cycle. Thanks to a fibroid I suffer a lot of pain (two lots of prescription painkillers taken together, as well as using a tens machine) and very heavy blood loss. So was feeling ****e to start with. We were in there for 45 minutes and didn't stop talking. He asked what led to the counselling, and I just broke down in tears and couldn't say. I asked him to read what I knew he had in front of him, a three page letter I'd typed out that was sent to the OHS with the referral form. He said that he preferred me to tell him, but I just couldn't do it. I felt awful then. He then re-read my letter, and then went on from there. He asked if my GP had referred me to a psychiatrist, no, I said, just the mental health assessment unit and then they referred me to the counsellor at his surgery once a week from January. He then asked if it was still ongoing, no, finished now. Did I find it helpful - yes, very. Still find it difficult to talk openly about, but feel better about my outlook on it overall now. So he said he'd say that the emotional problems are being successfully dealt with, but my gynea problems are a different matter. He advised that I go back to my GP and request a blood test (he said I looked extremely pale) and a referral to a gyneacologist. So, this Friday just gone, 29th, dh and I trolled along to see him and did just that. Found that the fertility consultant I saw four years ago at the local hospital didn't write to my GP and tell him about the fibroid, so he has no record of it. I told him that they told me I had one while undergoing an HSG (nasty procedure, where they insert a speculum, then pass a tube in and through the cervix into the womb and insert dye, to spot fibroids and to see if the tubes are blocked, via x-ray, as you lay on an x-ray table for it.) The consultant also said about it at our next meeting with him, so good job dh was there too, as he told the GP on Friday that that's what we were told then - and that they won't remove it as any scar tissue left behind could make any future possible conception difficult. So, suffer it. So, along with dh's very low count, our chances of conceiving naturally are virtually nil. Wasn't prepared to go thru ICSI (where they inject an individual sperm into the egg) so that was that.

Still with me? I hope so.

The GP has been great again, and has given me forms to take to the local clinic for a range of blood tests, anaeamia, kidney, liver and thyroid function, cholesterol - the lot. And I've got to take a form to the local x-ray dept for an ultrasound scan, look for the fibroid, see how big it is, and if there's more than one. Then he said we'll go from there. He's also put me back on the anti-d's every day, as I was feeling awful again. While all this is going thru, it won't do me any harm, and will help me get thru it.

He also told me that the counsellor I saw, wasn't just a counsellor, she was a psychologist - I didn't know that. He smiled, and said maybe that was a good thing.

So, am taking the forms into work on Monday (we've been on leave this last fortnight) to show my manager that things are moving on. Having tetanus jab #2 on Thursday. Need to drop the x-ray form in to the hospital this week, and mil is taking me to the clinic Monday week, as she's off that day. I have to fast for 14-16 hours beforehand. Oh deep joy. Still, if it's the start of sorting my periods out once and for all, it's a small price to pay. The scan I'm not looking forward to, as there's every possibility it could be an internal one, still, cross that bridge when we come to it.

Thanks for listening hun, this is a bit of a missive - I know.

xxxx

[RFLH]

Hi, sorry for the delay in getting back to you.

I'm sure that this is only a blip and is to be expected now and again - you can't go through what you've experienced without it happening. As long as you know that then I'm sure it'll lessen with each time.

I also hope that your gynea problems are been sorted too - I've no experience of these but I can empathise with you.

I also hope that work are being sympathetic and understanding too, you've enough going on without them adding to your stress levels!

Please keep posting - I hope that it helps.

[Tibblesmum]

Another update

Hi hun, it's been a long time hasn't it!

First of all, just to let you know that I saw the gynea in October of last year, and he booked me in for a couple of procedures together. One was a hysteroscopy - where they take a look inside the womb thru the, er, natural route - and he found that I have an enlarged womb and every surface was covered with little polyps. He said that women rarely have the amount I have, and usually just a few, but mine were beyond counting. He scraped them all out and sent them to the lab. He said he thought they would show up as cancerous or at least pre-cancerous, but, thanks be to God, histology proved him wrong! The second procedure was a laparoscopy - this was to see if I had endometriosis, he thought that as my cycles are so regular, it was doubtful, but he wanted to check, and lo and behold, there was some there, so he removed that too. Trust me to prove to be the exception to the rule on both counts I go back to see him on 15th June for a follow up. My monthlies are a lot better now, tho this one was a bit heavier, hopefully a one-off.

I've changed managers, again, as the man I had changed to (no choice of mine, yet again) was showing me any support at all, and the depression was coming back again, so still on the meds. The lady I have now is lovely, thank heaven. Good job, as I've now been diagnosed with anxiety induced IBS. Great. I said to my lovely GP that I feel awful about it all, that as soon as I get one thing sorted out, something else crops up. He said not to worry, it often happens like that, and that was what he was there for. If I ever want to talk to him, no matter what about, even just a chat, I'm to make an appointment to see him. Bless, I did feel as if I was being a pest, and he said that no, not in any way whatsoever. Made me feel a bit better on that score too.

I hope you're keeping well - get back to me when you can m'dear.

xxx

[RFLH]

Hello! It has been a long time, I'm glad to see that you're getting you problems seen to one by one - soon be good as new!!

I'm also glad that it's fine on the work front too, it makes all the difference doesn't it?

For heaven's sake don't get Swine Flu or I shall have to smack your legs!!

I've had IBS for years - it's a real pain in the bum isn't it?! I've now got OSA, which is a joy, not! But now I'm used to the equipment its not too bad - but I do look like something from Doctor Who. If we ever get broken into at night I think they'd exit quicker than they entered!

Keep me up to speed on things won't you?

Take care and TRY to keep well!!!!

[Tibblesmum]

Thanks for that hun, you're right, violence doesn't do it, at all. In fact my ex was the one person who didn't believe me when it came to light (along with my mum at the time, she's had a complete change of thought now tho)

My brother did ask what car this idiot drove, as he wanted to run him off the road. I accidently on purpose forgot. Why should my brother get himself into trouble for that piece of ****e?? Nope, he never did find out either.

Thanks again hun, yes IBS is a pain in the bum! What's the other thing you've got - I've no idea what that one is!

xxx

[friday]

My brother did ask what car this idiot drove, as he wanted to run him off the road. I accidently on purpose forgot. Why should my brother get himself into trouble for that piece of ****e?? Nope, he never did find out either.

violence is never the answer, to do that brings the do-er down one moral levl making them one level closer to scum of the earth. its also the easy option but not the most satisfying one. victims beat their attackers by surviving and living. i sometimes wonder whether men who are close to us react by wanting to hurt our attackers because they werent able to protect us when it happened.

im glad counselling helped. do you feel it was enough? im hoping that everyday i refuse to let him win means im one day closer to not even thinking about it everday, and to living normally.

[Tibblesmum]

The counselling did help, tho my GP has referred me to the mental health unit at the local hospital again, as he thinks I need more help now, and that depression's definitely back. Got some more anti-d's too. I now do have anxiety induced IBS - he said that it's definitely that - and to keep taking the immodium - it won't do me any harm. So, little steps, keep going, and this should help further. Feeling unsettled and out of control at work doesn't help either, things change from week to week, so. . . . we never know if we're doing the same work week by week. We're pre-surplus anyway, which means our jobs don't really exist any more, so we get first pick of any other available jobs within the dept, or in other gov depts. I work in the local tax office, revenue. Used to be Customs - from 1989 to Jan last year, then they moved us. Still, if you've read this all from the beginning, you'll know that already, sorry, repeating myself here.

Thanks for the input, and no, violence doesn't help, but I think you're right, the men in our lives want to do that because they weren't there and couldn't protect us at the time.

Will keep you posted as and when things happen.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Tibblesmum

If the men in your life want to help maybe they can take you for day trips to pleasant places that you like and can relax in, such as the coast (works for me if it's not packed with holiday makers) and country walks. Sounds trite I know but communing with nature works wonders!

[friday]

^i definetly second that suggestion. and also helps to drum it in to my head that the men who do horrible things are the exception not the rule.

i hope the mental health unit in your area is good, they can be a little bit hit and miss at times but at least they are finally being seen as essential. i didn't read that whole thread, just the beginning and the end so repeating is useful. sounds like a job that would send some people insane, i tend to shut my ears whenever tax or hmrc is mentioned.

[webmoo]

Hi all,

FYI I've deleted certain posts and the replies to them. The user has been warned.

Sorry about the thread disruption Tibblesmum. Good luck with it all. I hope it all works out for you and good luck with the mental health unit.

[Tibblesmum]

Thanks so much for that, the support on here has been great.

I have an assessment with a psychologist at my GP's surgery next Tuesday at 11.15, so wish me luck.

I saw the gastroentologist at the hospital on the 2nd July and he said it's definitely IBS and gave me some anti-spasmodic meds, which help with the pain a bit. The GP has doubled the anti-d's dose - that was three weeks ago - and they seem to be helping a bit more now. I don't feel like crying 24/7 now. Have a dental check up on the 26th August, and follow-up appointment at the hospital the following day to see how I'm getting on with the meds, and get the results of the blood test he sent me for on the same day - fbc, liver function and coeliac disease. As I haven't heard anything yet, I presume they came back clear, am hoping so anyway.

I went back to work on Monday after 5 weeks off with anxiety and depression again, and ended up off yesterday and today with a raging headache and the trots - oh deep joy. . . Hope to go back tomorrow.

I'll let you how things go next week, and later on in August.

Thanks again.

[RFLH]

Please do Tibblesmum, I like to know what's happening with you.

IBS is a pain in the bum isn't it? Not helped that stress triggers it either!

Glad you've managed to get back to work, good on ya!

I do hope that everything comes back with no further action to take, I'm sure that it'll be a weight of your shoulders.

Keep posting and just look how far you've travelled in the last year.

[Saffron]

Hi Tibblesmum
I suffer from IBS as well, it's excruciating! I have anti-spasmodic drugs as well, but as I have been told to only take them when I suffer an attack, they don't reallly help.
So glad you are still here and feeling strong. Chin up! We are with you. xx