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Raped while unconcious and found out when baby was born?!
I'm really lost at what to do and almost feel like none of this is really happening. Last year I went away for work training and a few of us had drinks etc. One of the guys and I were chatting as we were similar age, similar interests. My memory is hazy from that night and what I remember is me laying in bed feeling extremely sick and talking about my boyfriend how I couldn't wait to go home tomorrow. This other guy was sitting on the complete other side of the room and I remember him saying he's gonna go because I'm passing out. I don't remember him leaving at all. I woke up the next morning and felt funny but thought it was just a bad hangover and I rushed to get showered as I was running late. I asked if anything had happened and he said nothing did and that he left afterwards as I had basically fallen asleep. I believed him. Me and my boyfriend were trying for a baby and were ecstatic when I finally fell pregnant. A few months later this guy messaged me on LinkedIn asking how I was etc I said I was fine but for some reason I always had a bad feeling when he popped up so I asked again if anything had happened again he said no and why don't I believe him, that if anything happened he would have said and trust me I would have known, he swore on his mothers life that nothing did and I was blatently wasted he didn't touch me. I asked if I had touched him to which he replied what kind of question is that seeing as I was hardly able to construct a sentence. I said if something happened I had to know and I wouldn't blame him to which he then said unfortunately for him nothing happened and if he had known at the time I wouldn't blame him then he would have come back? I found this comment weird because I didn't think that anything we spoke about implied that I was interested in him as I spoke about my boyfriend so much over the few days we were at training. I then told him I was expecting and he said congratulation and it's a shame my boyfriend got there first. I was confused at that comment but put it down to being a cheeky joke.
It played on my mind what if he's lying because I couldn't shake this bad feeling but I just thought that someone wouldn't do that to me while I was clearly unconcious and that I would have known if it did, but I know how much of a deep sleeper I am especially when drunk...my friends have undressed me and then put me in pyjamas without me even batting an eyelid and an ex partner of mine had sex with me and told me 2 days later and was angry as I could have had someone take advantage of me and I didn't know until he told me he said I was like a corpse! So thinking about these occasions worries me even more. I've asked so many times now and he has basically called me crazy and said that there's no way because nothing happened and why would he lie.
My baby was then born and she is white, I broke down and told my boyfriend what I was thinking. He told me to go to the doctors which I did as everyone thought I had post natal depression. But the older she gets the worse it gets because she is looking the spitting image of this other guy who told me nothing happened. I've been beside myself driving myself insane thinking someone wouldn't do that and I must be seeing the similarity of my baby and him because I have been obsessing over it so much but I don't think so. I've sat there saying someone wouldn't lie about that or do that to me it's impossible. I would know. We just did the DNA test and it came back that my boyfriend is not the father. This guy still maintains nothing happened but I haven't been with anyone else so how is this possible, I know my baby wasn't swapped at the hospital! So how?
I don't know what to do at this point even if I did want to do something about it what can I do? If the man says nothing happened and now it's too late to do a rape kit!? I feel helpless because I feel like my life is over and I've had no choice in the matter I couldn't stop any of it and now I can't change it. I've felt suicidal and depressed I've lost everything...my boyfriend will not speak to me now as he thinks I am lying, that I cheated. He won't even look at all the messages from this man saying nothing happened. Please could someone tell me what I can do? Is that even rape? My friend says it is I feel sick and disgusted because I didn't see this guy in that way at all. But if I was asleep then how could I have said yes?! I'm so confused I don't know what to think or do
It played on my mind what if he's lying because I couldn't shake this bad feeling but I just thought that someone wouldn't do that to me while I was clearly unconcious and that I would have known if it did, but I know how much of a deep sleeper I am especially when drunk...my friends have undressed me and then put me in pyjamas without me even batting an eyelid and an ex partner of mine had sex with me and told me 2 days later and was angry as I could have had someone take advantage of me and I didn't know until he told me he said I was like a corpse! So thinking about these occasions worries me even more. I've asked so many times now and he has basically called me crazy and said that there's no way because nothing happened and why would he lie.
My baby was then born and she is white, I broke down and told my boyfriend what I was thinking. He told me to go to the doctors which I did as everyone thought I had post natal depression. But the older she gets the worse it gets because she is looking the spitting image of this other guy who told me nothing happened. I've been beside myself driving myself insane thinking someone wouldn't do that and I must be seeing the similarity of my baby and him because I have been obsessing over it so much but I don't think so. I've sat there saying someone wouldn't lie about that or do that to me it's impossible. I would know. We just did the DNA test and it came back that my boyfriend is not the father. This guy still maintains nothing happened but I haven't been with anyone else so how is this possible, I know my baby wasn't swapped at the hospital! So how?
I don't know what to do at this point even if I did want to do something about it what can I do? If the man says nothing happened and now it's too late to do a rape kit!? I feel helpless because I feel like my life is over and I've had no choice in the matter I couldn't stop any of it and now I can't change it. I've felt suicidal and depressed I've lost everything...my boyfriend will not speak to me now as he thinks I am lying, that I cheated. He won't even look at all the messages from this man saying nothing happened. Please could someone tell me what I can do? Is that even rape? My friend says it is I feel sick and disgusted because I didn't see this guy in that way at all. But if I was asleep then how could I have said yes?! I'm so confused I don't know what to think or do
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