Was it rape? Consumed with guilt and fear. Plz help.

[Supportreq]

I don't know if I was raped. I was out with my friends and we got separated at a bar at 1am. I have a pretty constant blackout from 9:30pm - 5:30am.
I woke up in the morning in a wood with most of my clothes off. This wood was 20 miles from my house. I have no idea how I got there. There was a man there. I have since had flash backs just snapshots of walking into the wood with this man (I can never see his face- I just remember he was so calm), him having sex with me and doing other things to me. I can also remember him moving my mouth towards his genitals. I didn't stop him!! When I remember it's like it wasn't me. They are 1/2 second snapshots. What happened to me? I am a very happily married woman and have never cheated on my husband. This ordeal has deeply traumatised me.
I told my husband within 12 hours and have gone to the police and The Haven but I blame myself. I feel because I didn't stop it, I consented and it's my fault. I need any advise and support you can offer. Thank you.

[Rights Fighter]

None of us can know whether it was rape or if you consented while drunk, as we weren't there, of course.

Hopefully you will work your way through all of this to maybe find out why you got so drunk without hubby being with you. It's none of my business as to whether there is a problem between you two, and I don't want to know but maybe you can work that out in counselling?

Hold on in there

[Lilyput]

Were you tested for any drugs in your system? Could possibly be a date rape situation which is why you don't remember? Whatever did happen if your getting flashbacks in a couple of weeks maybe see a counsellor for PTSD. Hope you feel better soon and have lots of support.

[Rights Fighter]

Excellent point Lilyput. If there were drugs in your system and you KNOW you didn't take any, then of course this would be premeditated rape. If that is the case, I hope they find and arrest him.

Hold on in there