Thoughts?

[KindaBitter]

I kinda feel like having a rant. When I was 15 a guy tried to force himself on me, he would have been about 19 or 20 I think, thing was I was pretty naive and didn't realise it was a crime to attempt rape and still kinda wonder if it fits the definition as he did stop eventually. We had been kissing but I withdrew consent, he kept going and took my clothes off and held my arms down. Luckily, I managed to get him to stop just in time by making some threats about what I would do to him if he continued (these were quite graphic, I would think chilling threats). He paused for a minute and then stopped.

The entire thing went pretty badly for me (obviously with the exception of not getting raped). I didn't tell my friends at the time, for ages and then he appeared one day and I told them, but the reaction I got was pretty negative, so I stopped talking to them. A few years later I got quite a few folk saying they were sorry. I pointed out that calling me a lying slut in that situation, was pretty unforgivable. The guy never even denied it, he was really drunk and didn't remember, and said he was sorry. Once again I wasn't big on forgiveness. The thing that gets me though, is I don't think he thinks he did anything wrong, I kinda think the holding me down thing and taking off my clothes, while I kept saying No and stop, is not alright. I would probably have a hard time convincing the police, paticularly as the original reaction by other people.

I'm just pissed about the whole thing. It just seems so unfair, and I feel really bad for not reporting it, but I really can't be bothered dealing with all that.

[endurance]

I kinda feel like having a rant. When I was 15 a guy tried to force himself on me, he would have been about 19 or 20 I think, thing was I was pretty naive and didn't realise it was a crime to attempt rape and still kinda wonder if it fits the definition as he did stop eventually. We had been kissing but I withdrew consent, he kept going and took my clothes off and held my arms down. Luckily, I managed to get him to stop just in time by making some threats about what I would do to him if he continued (these were quite graphic, I would think chilling threats). He paused for a minute and then stopped.

The entire thing went pretty badly for me (obviously with the exception of not getting raped). I didn't tell my friends at the time, for ages and then he appeared one day and I told them, but the reaction I got was pretty negative, so I stopped talking to them. A few years later I got quite a few folk saying they were sorry. I pointed out that calling me a lying slut in that situation, was pretty unforgivable. The guy never even denied it, he was really drunk and didn't remember, and said he was sorry. Once again I wasn't big on forgiveness. The thing that gets me though, is I don't think he thinks he did anything wrong, I kinda think the holding me down thing and taking off my clothes, while I kept saying No and stop, is not alright. I would probably have a hard time convincing the police, paticularly as the original reaction by other people.

I'm just pissed about the whole thing. It just seems so unfair, and I feel really bad for not reporting it, but I really can't be bothered dealing with all that.

Maybe you could have a word with a rape crisis centre or victim support or something similar, they may be able to give you the advice and information you need, and would provide support for you whatever you decide to do. I think there are help and advice lines you could ring if you don't want to talk to anyone face to face initially. These feelings can become much worse when you least expect it, and we often think we have gotten over something and dealt with it when really its just buried. Sorry I haven't given much info on the legal side but how you feel is just as important. Take care and look after yourself.