I need help

[anon26]

Thank you for your post nearly brought a tear to my eye.

I am about 3 months down the line now, it had got easier and I have made very drastic changes to my life but all positive I think.

I'm lucky that I have always been strong as I have had to be so I have some good tools to help me through along with my family. It is getting better and I am facing the day with my head held high.

I feel so sorry for people that have been falsely accused it's so unfair and a waste of police time. These things do not defy us and get better in time. I hope you have had your name cleared and that you can rebuild as I am

[lawlessone2009]

Hi Anon26 i am also a male FA , reading your posts is heart breaking , the battle im having is my own and understand there are 2 sides to this forum. I decided to look at the other side and found your post. The first thing i felt was anger at my accuser, your life has obviously been torn apart by this, my accuser is using your nightmare for her own ends. But i am neither commenting in relation to her or myself, but as a dad who has 4 daughters. You will get through this , you will be surprised at how resiliant you can be. Step forward with your life, one day this terrible experience will be a distant memory, there is evil in this world but evil will not prevail. Many people who have suffered terribly feel a need to do something positive and help other people, its a way of making something good happen out of something that could have destroyed you. Maybe its something to think about and for some people a way of coping. What has happened in the past is the past, yes you were touched by Evil and that person is eternally damned, they are weak, dirty and wretched. Build yourself up get your confidence back, be strong, you have your whole life in front of you. You will have children, you will meet someone who you will love and who loves you, you have the whole world to explore. Stay close to your family they will help you get through this and on to the other side. Trust me I lost everything and have no one. Its been hell but i got through it. You will cope as i do and start to dream again of a future. Be strong you have my compassion and my best wishes I.

WOW...

Brought a tear to my eye too!

[anon26]

No news today from cps. I geuss no news is good news although I am not sure that applys in this case. Not sure how I would feel either way but I know I want closure and soon.

Hopefully will get the call tomorrow. I'm just terribly inpatient. Worked from home today buy decided to go in tomorrow best to keep things as normal as possible.

On a postive note just got back from a long sesh at the gym ill be ripped in no time

[lawlessone2009]

No news today from cps. I geuss no news is good news although I am not sure that applys in this case. Not sure how I would feel either way but I know I want closure and soon.

Hopefully will get the call tomorrow. I'm just terribly inpatient. Worked from home today buy decided to go in tomorrow best to keep things as normal as possible.

On a postive note just got back from a long sesh at the gym ill be ripped in no time

Ripped-.jpg

That the kind of ripped you're looking for?

[anon26]

Haha! No more like a six pack lol

[lawlessone2009]

This kinda six pack? :

6-Pack-Beer-Belt.jpg

Thought you were off it?

[anon26]

Feeling a bit weird, spoke to the police on Monday and have been told that my case has gone to council so essentially it's now with the barristers until the end of the week and then I will get the decision on a charge and if it goes to court.

Was told if there is a trail it won't be until 2015!! I'm feeling ok in myself and all the excersise is helping my depression. I'm worried that if this drags out til 2015 I may relapse.

I know what happened to me was horrific and so wrong but I feel like this dragging on would almost be like punishing myself.

I want to get justice but at the same time I want to move on and even if it goes to court it's down to a jury and what if they let him off surely that will make me feel awful!!!

Argghhhhh anyone been through the legal system (as a victim/ survivor) did u feel like this?

[anon26]

Still no decision about a charge.

Having another bad day today first one in a while. Decided to stuff my face full of chocolate.

Hate how my life has changed and how little control I have over that.

Contacted my support working to chase up my theropy as still not started it yet.

Just wish I could wake up tomorrow and everything was how it was. So unfair I have to suffer when I didn't do anything wrong. Why should I have to deal with the lows.

I know to take everyday as it comes but I'm nearly 27 back at my parents with no idea where I am going to live when I'm ready to move out and it's so stressful. Just want my old life back

[lawlessone2009]

I've not replied before now as I was kind of hoping that someone with some proper experience would drop by and share some words of comfort with you. I am still hoping for this to happen, it's just been so incredibly quiet on here as of late.

The decision about charging may take a little more time than they've let on. The Police/CPS have to gather the necessary evidence and then piece together the case. Depending on what the other party has said/put forward as a defence this could take a considerable amount of time.


Bad days make the good ones all the better. I still find it incredible that you are holding everything together as well as you are.

As for the chocolate, was it a six pack of Cadburys Buttons you were referring too before?

You still have control over your life it's just that your emotions will be all over the place and your mental thoughts will be seriously skewed. Time is the only healer and it's not being helped by the amount of time it's taking for the decisions with regards charging.

Keep on at your support worker. Everything was looking as if it was going to happen in that area and now it seems to have tailed off... I'd encourage you to call them every single day.

When you wake up tomorrow morning you will find that it's a new day, the sun is hopefully shining and whilst you've been sleeping the entire world has evolved. You have, equally, evolved.

Being almost 27 and back living with your parents? Is that not a good thing? Free food, all laundry done, free heating and electricity...... Okay, maybe not ideal but if you're still off the booze and saving some money where you can then there is nothing stopping you eventually having enough to get yourself your own place. As for getting your 'old life' back, I can see what you are saying...

PS: Have you been to the gym yet?

[anon26]

Thank you.

I was going to update yesterday but didn't have the strength to.

He has been charged for rape. Plea hearing is next week and the trial if he pleas not guilty will be in 2015.

I haven't really thought about it I'm blocking it out of mind until the weekend. Need to hold my s#@t together for work.

Just literally finished a morning session before work. Ran 2 miles for the first time ever so happy with that. I swear excersise is the only thing keeping me sane!!

Thank you so much for your

[o my god]

Hi stay strong and its good that you have found something that will help you keep your mind off it, don't do to much tho or you will end up lookin like the hulk lol x

[anon26]

Hehe yeah ill have to paint my skin green!!

[phoenix2014]

Hehe yeah ill have to paint my skin green!!

Read this post in the 'what's new' section and had to read the Thread to see how it fitted in

At least you have kept a sense of humour in a dark time.x

[myhome]

Hi Anon - I haven't been posting (personal reasons) but have been following your thread. I think you are doing amazingly - you have a really strong positive approach to your life and I can see you coming through this successfully

[Pandora]

Hi anon,

Hi

I was raped on the 12 of may this year so a couple of weeks ago, I was on a night out and blacked out after 1 hour of drinking, I have no memory of the rape, I woke up in basically a park bruised and cut covered in dirt and no underwear on. it has been reported to the police and I went to have my forensics done the day it happened.

it has been such a difficult experience that I haven't even began to deal with it. my rapist has been arrested but released on bail while the police gather as much evidence as possible to present to the cpd so that he hopefully will be charged. my blood results will be back next week to see if I was spiked.

I have no idea who my rapist is.

it was hands down the most frightening thing of my life.

since it happened, I was dating a guy I thought was the one but yesterday he moved away (which I always knew was going to happen) he has supported me so much through this ordeal and has said he will continue to do so which I know he means but he does not want a long distance relationship as they don't work and me moving is not an option. I am devastated I have been crying none stop for 3 days now and I haven't eaten a thing in 2 days. I am not sure if I am upset over the end of the relationship or if I am starting to deal with the rape. I feel totally helpless and so alone. I have good friends and family but no one knows how to support me.

I can see a point in carrying on with nothing to look forward to in life. I am far from back to my normal routine and it seems impossible, I am so depressed angry upset and most of all scared.

since it happened I have lost so much weight. I don't know what to do or who to turn to

I am usually a very strong person and I would never get upset over anything.

please help because I cant see future right now

I too was raped in February 2014. My rapist was a work colleague who had plied me with alcohol until I was unconscious. My rape was witnessed by my 17 year old autistic daughter, & he was sentenced yesterday to 5 years. It is all over for me now and I know I have been really brave, even losing my 9 year relationship as a result of the rape. I feel that I should be over the moon with the result, but I see no light at the end of my tunnel. Instead of being euphoric, I am very low/suicidal. I am medicated but this man has not only raped my body, he has raped my whole life. How do we recover ? X