can anyone help

[benji]

hi

i have never thought about looking in google

and with killing myself i think i have so much stuff going on in my head is just like its going to go bang i think things went to fast i had kept the rape to myself for to long and i was coping just but some thing happened it was like opening a flood gates and it all came out that fast i could not stop it every time i here it on the news it makes my realy sick

and they got away with it and lift my thinking i was asking for it and that what we were put here for the only man in my life is my dad

if i could walk to the end of the street i would lay on the floor and wait for a bus to run me over so i could have my legs taken of then i would be pain free thats how much pain mrsa gives i have arthites in my knees and its more painfull than that so you no when you have it

my life now is just sitting at my pc from getting up till bed time when ever that is

[diana_holbourn]

Rapists like to make excuses for their actions like saying their victims were asking for it, or they like to make comments to try to humiliate people because they're so sadistic, like saying it's what women are put here for. It makes them feel macho and in control, and it gets them out of taking responsibility for their actions, because they would have to feel bad about themselves if they did. It's a tragedy that many of their victims can believe what they say when it's really just a dishonourable deceitful way of making themselves feel better about their behaviour and giving themselves a perverted sense of power that makes them feel big. When they say a person asked for it, it's as if they're admitting to being like animals whose brains are so unsophisticated that they've got no control over their behaviour. But they probably don't realise that's the implication of what they're saying, because they'd no doubt hate to think of themselves like that, because they're most likely to have control of their actions really; they just want to make excuses for their behaviour to get themselves out of blaming themselves.

At least a lot of men don't think like that.

One thing that might help you is if you think of some of the things they left you thinking, one by one, and then with each one, write a list of better ways of thinking to go in its place that you can think now you know better, like that women are here to do a whole lot more than to be objects men can use. You could think of all the achievements of women you can think of, women like yourself, people you know and famous women, that prove that women are here for a lot more than that, and write them down and think about them, to help yourself change any horrible feelings you still have because of the way they made you think.

Hopefully you'll find a good MRSA treatment that works for you.

[benji]

hi

i will do that

i keep thinking what are they doing now and did they do it to anyone else and what if they did.what if i had told someone about it

have you had a look at the groups in msn i have found some good groups thats to your help

ann

[diana_holbourn]

They might have done it to others, but if they did, hopefully the others found help to get over it and someone reported the rapists and they got put in prison for it. You can't blame yourself for not reporting them, since you would probably have been so shocked at the time, and too ashamed if they made you think it was your fault. If you think back to the way you were feeling at the time, you'll know you can't blame yourself for not reporting them.

I haven't looked at the MSN groups myself, but I'm glad you've found some good ones.

[benji]

hi

hope you are ok and had a good weekend

i have seen my gp today and had a chat hes put my on some different tablets

he told me the more i talk about it the better it will be

i have been trying to tell my mum about it but i find the right time to tell her

my mum has never had a family her mum and dad both died when she was very young and her brother and sisters all got sent away so they all got split up so she lived in a childrens home from 2 till she was 16 so i find now that she has love for us but i have never had a cubble from her i now it sounds sad but you need a cuddle now and then not even when we were little kids she is unable to show how she feels

ann

[diana_holbourn]

I hope the new tablets make you feel better. Did you speak to the GP about whether he knew of anywhere where you could get help with caring for your parents? If he didn't come up with any good ideas, hopefully that Sue Ryder Care place I linked to before will have some.

If you tell your mum about what happened, she might be upset that you didn't tell her what happened at the time, and want to know why you didn't report it, but hopefully things will work out.

It's a shame about what happened to your mum and that she's never cuddled you much. Do you think she'd like to share more affection with you? People sometimes learn to do things more by imitating other people who do them, so maybe the more cuddles you give your mum, the more she'll take an example from you as a kind of role model and start cuddling you more. It can work like that sometimes, anyway.

[diana_holbourn]

I hope you're getting on allright.

I hope I didn't offend you before by anything I said.

This forum's moving soon, probably tomorrow. But you'll be able to get to the new one from here if you like.

[lost angel]

hiya i joined the site today and i must say for people to find the strengh and courage to post
after this is amazing. it shows that we wont be beaten and that they havent won. its taken
me just under a year to seek councelling and for the first time in a long time ive been able
to talk about this.

i also see the site is moving where to ? will i still be a member and be able to post.

[diana_holbourn]

When the site moves, if you come here, there'll be a page with information and instructions on it about what its new address is and what you have to do. You'll just have to confirm your membership and choose a new password. But it'll tell you more about exactly how.

[lost angel]

thankx diana