Reporting But Not To Prosecute

[JustMe]

I was raped 12 years ago by a man I had been seeing casually after we had split up. It obviously pops into my mind now and again but it's not been a major trauma throughout my whole life. However, something that has concerned me is that I never reported it to the police. This was made worse when around 6 years ago I found out that he had raped someone else at a similar time to this. I was told this information by someone who didn't know that I'd been raped by him. As time has gone on, I feel it my duty to let the police know. However, I don't want to go to the police to report my rape, as I really really don't want to go to court. It was so long ago, the circumstances of the rape mean I wouldn't be believed and the whole thing I know would distress me more than the rape ever did. However, I don't want to have other rapes on my conscience and feel I should say something.

My boyfriend has suggested Victim Support, but I wanted to know if anyone else had any other suggestions, or even better, any experience?

[myhome]

Hi JustMe - I think that in to-day's current feelings about sexual abuse, you would be believed. In any case, the police have a duty to you to investigate. You might like to find you local Rape Crisis Centre and visit them and talk to them and get their help, support and advice. This will inevitably be a difficult thing for you to do so having someone with you who is an expert and specially trained to offer you support throughout will make it a bit less traumatic for you...

All the best MH

[JustMe]

Thanks for your reply.

The only reason I want to go is so they have his name and can possibly use me as a witness or use my statement in cases where he is brought by someone else in the future. I don't want to press charges myself. I don't need to for closure of my rape and it would only cause me and many others distress. I only want to report it so they have his name and evidence in case they need it for others. I don't know if that's possible though. Like I don't know if once I report it, they have to follow it up - in which case I'd just rather not. Don't know how else to ease my guilt that he's raped at least one other person though. That's the hard bit for me, not my rape. Don't know if that makes any sense?

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks for your reply.

The only reason I want to go is so they have his name and can possibly use me as a witness or use my statement in cases where he is brought by someone else in the future. I don't want to press charges myself. I don't need to for closure of my rape and it would only cause me and many others distress. I only want to report it so they have his name and evidence in case they need it for others. I don't know if that's possible though. Like I don't know if once I report it, they have to follow it up - in which case I'd just rather not. Don't know how else to ease my guilt that he's raped at least one other person though. That's the hard bit for me, not my rape. Don't know if that makes any sense?

I've read your initial post and this one.

You do need closure even if it's only some information on a file somewhere.

Coming forward after a long period of time does not mean you will be any less believed than if you reported it at the time it happened.

The actual process of reporting is as relaxed as they can make it. You should be interviewed at a slow pace and simply give details similar to what you are doing here. I'd imagine you'd potentially even be able to give them a typed up statement and then answer some questions in relation to it.

You have little to loose by reporting it and it would be a step towards closing off the whole thing. If you are concerned about what might potentially happen to others at the hand of the man in question then I would actively encourage you to report it.

I would say that the worst thing that can happen is that it DOES sit on a little piece of paper in a file somewhere (on a computer database!). The best that'll happen is that the Police question the man and he admits guilt.

I would encourage you to consider the potential that there would be a trial. Do not see this as something of particular significance or a chance for you to be disbelieved. You simply give your version of events and the jury decide from there. It is not necessarily that they don't believe you if they find him not guilty it could simply be that, with it being such a serious accusation, they were lacking in a little additional evidence.

It should not get to that point though as the Police/CPS have requirements to meet before raising a prosecution. They could simply take a statement from you and sit on it for a period until someone else makes a complaint.

It could also be that someone else actually has made a complaint and you don't know about it. Their complaint could be sitting waiting on a 'little bit extra' and YOU are that little bit extra.

You have nothing to loose. I would advise what 'myhome' recommends, pop into an organisation that deals with rape and have an informal chat with them.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Justme, Welcome to the forum.
I think I understand your predicament. If you report it, it's sure to go further and it will probably go to court. The police won't just take your word for it and leave it at that. That wouldn't be right either. I know someone in a similar case to yours (though it was sexual assault not rape) who reported a historical incident over the phone then changed his mind as he has much more immediate worries. He was hounded by the police for months to make a statement ( they rang 5 times one Sunday) People do get over things and deal with them in their own way and I can understand that you don't want to open old wounds again, if that's your concern.

As far as feeling guilty for what has happened since, I would try and get over that. You are not responsible for his actions, especially not his subsequent actions. It could have gone to trial and he may have been found not guilty. Had he been convicted and done time in prison he wouldn't have been able to carry out that other rape while inside, but once out....

Do you know if the subsequent rape went to court or if the police have his name at all? If he has, then he's on the Sex Offenders Register.

All the best WGO

[lawlessone2009]

Re-reading all this.

You have nothing to feel guilty about as WGO states. You have done nothing wrong.

There is nothing you could have done at any point in time to change what happened either in your own situation or in any subsequent situations involving others.