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I am struggling knowing I have to go back to court on Monday and continue with the cross examination. It is all just so horrible I feel as if I am on trial not him. This trial is far worse than when it happened I feel as if I am reliving it with an audience watching, it is unbearable.
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It's unfortunate that defence lawyers don't seem to think of the feelings of victims. I think their main concern a lot of the time is not to see justice done whatever the outcome, but to do the best for their clients! So they'll resort to unscrupulous methods. There was a television programme on once about someone who met her defence lawyer after her trial and confronted him about the way he'd treated her, and he got upset and felt guilty after that, saying he hadn't thought of her as a person before, but just as a case. It might be interesting to ask a lawyer during a trial if he'd like to see his sister or mother or wife or girlfriend put through the ordeal he's putting other people through!
There seems to be a feeling around that rape trials are much easier,or even too easy, for victims nowadays. But this is obviously not the case. If you're ever feeling up to it, can you give us a sample of the questions they're still being allowed to get away with?
It may be, though, that the more the jury see you getting upset by what's happening, the more convinced they'll be that you're telling the truth, and so the more likely they'll be to find him guilty. We can hope so anyway.
At least this time next week, the trial should be over, and hopefully he'll be in prison and you'll start to get strong again. If he does go to prison, then by doing what you're doing now, you're protecting other people on the outside from him - people who would have been his future victims if it hadn't been for you. You'll probably never know who you might be protecting. But there will almost certainly be people around who aren't going to get attacked if he gets sent to prison now, who would have been if it hadn't been for you.My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the Supernatural -
Thankyou Diane. That is something which has got me through, thinking especiallly about how I would feel if it was one of my friends who have been helping me, but I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I imagine you can see what time I am posting this message in 5 hours I have to leave. I cannot sleep. Tomorrow night I am staying at my friends house because my partner has to work in Manchester his work do not consider this grounds for compassionate leave. It is hard, I have tried talking to him but I get so upset the last two nights he called the doctor out but they just drug me to make me sleep, and I have a real medication hangover the next day. The doctor says I am having a nervous breakdown but it is just a label anyone would be in a mess in this situation. Questions I have been asked are pretty terrible a lot of the bad ones surrounding the marriage, one in particular which springs to mind was did you willingly have intercourse with your husband at any time? The defence tried to make out I still loved him, that I liked him to be rough, it is unbelievable. They also held my underwera up in court.
I do feel as if I am the one on trial. I know the defence are doing their job but I dont know how they can live with themselves really I dont. I will let you all know the verdict tomorrow hopefully.Comment
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I hope everything goes well in the end.
It's no wonder you're feeling so upset when it was only July that this happened, and they're asking you such horrible questions in court. I'm glad you've got a friend to be with you and support you tomorrow night. Hopefully things will start to get better from then on.My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the SupernaturalComment
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Is ok guilty on most of the charges two for rape one not guilty but I could not do the examination second time round so its understandable. thanks for all your support . Sentencing on Friday.Comment
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Oh good. I'm glad he's been found guilty on most of them. You must be relieved. Can you let us know what his sentence is when you find out? Hopefully he'll be put away for a good few years. Then you can start to rebuild your life.My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the SupernaturalComment
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Thinking of you Emma. You've been so strong, hang on in there and let us know how you get on.
My thoughts are with you on Friday,
Sarah xxxComment
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