very unhappy

[Emma]

I feel suicidal I feel so emotionally responsible for my two closest friends it stops me talking to them i want to go round and see them and talk to them and cry and yet I hold myself back because I think of them first I wonder how they are coping hearing this awful stuff. I think it would be better for everyone if I just left. I wrote down what happened and gave it to them to read the problem I have is the only time I feel safe is when I am with either of my friends I am too dependent but I dont know how else to cope with this. When my friends give me a hug I feel safe and secure I can cry and sometimes talk and I just want to get all the pain out but feel so scared. why do I feel like this and how can I help my friends help me?

[diana_holbourn]

It's quite common for people who've had traumatic experiences to feel scared of things like going out or being alone, or to feel panicky. What are you feeling scared of? Is it something you're worried might happen, or is it something to do with being under too much stress? Can you think of anything, apart from being with your friends, that might make you a little bit less scared? Can you think of any times at all when you feel even just a little bit better? If you can, it might help you think of what to do more of.

Are you suffering from panic attacks? If so, you could read the post I wrote to someone in another thread yesterday about dealing with things like that: http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/invision_for...findpost&p=1845

There's another support forum which is much more to do with people expressing their feelings (which I've linked to on the board before, but not that recently): http://pub41.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?u...462926451&cpv=1

You don't have to register to post on that one, at least, you didn't the last time I knew.

Have your friends given you any cause to worry that they're suffering because of what they're hearing from you? You might be worrying about their feelings more than you need to. But the forum will at least give you an extra place to express your feelings.

If you commit suicide, your friends will suffer a lot worse than they will if you talk to them more. And it sounds like the man's ruined enough of your life; if you commit suicide, you'll be destroying any chance you have left of defying him and getting over this and being happier. You might not think there's much chance of being happier now, but if you find ways of getting over this, you might look back in a year and be glad you stayed alive.

What do you think it is that's stopping you from feeling safe at the moment? Is there anything you can think of, apart from being with your friends, that would make you feel a little bit safer? Can you think of any times in the last week or two when you've been on your own but haven't felt quite so bad? If so, what were you doing? Thinking about that might help you think of what else makes you feel a little bit better, so you can do more of it.

[Horrified Dad]

Emma,

As you know from my posts, I'm a parent of a lad accused of something that he is not guilty of.

Thank you for your kind words on that subject.

Please try to keep your thoughts positive and rise above the trauma. You can get through this, you will get through this. No-one can take away the dignity of the what makes you who you are!

Keep looking forward and be tough.