Am I Expecting Too Much?

[Sarah11]

My attackers bail is up today (this is the 2nd time as it was renewed in July for 2 months). He was initially arrested in April & bailed til mid July.
I have been feeling so low for the last week or so and have taken today off work as I couldn't face the thought of 'him' going past my office to the police station (even though I don't know what 'he' looks like).
When I first reported this to the police my husband assured me that he would always be there for me and that I have his full support.
I feel so confused and alone now. I have been tearful and unhappy recently and I know this must be wearing on others but all my husband seems to do about it, is get annoyed with me and distance himself. My children know nothing about what's happened and I've now returned to work after 6 months off sick, so I am still managing to keep the brave face on for much of the time but it's so exhausting.

Yesterday evening, I went and laid on the bed reading a magazine for 10mins (for peace and quiet and cos I had a stinking headache), my husband came in and said "oh, brilliant" and stormed out!?
He then went off to work an hour later, pecking me on the cheek and going off for his night shift. When he came in this morning, he said "I'm off to bed", I offered him a coffee but he declined, pecked me on the cheek & went to bed.
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I really thought he'd be at least a little attentive to me today, I've hardly slept for the last 5-6 nights because of wondering what will be said in the police station today. I now really feel that I am dealing with this on my own - my husband's gone to bed (don't get me wrong I know he has to sleep) without so much as giving me a hug and I'm left sitting on my own without having heard one word of reassurance from him, crying my eyes out yet again.

I know this has affected him too and I arranged support from his boss for him when I first told him, I was patient when he wouldn't look at me / come near me / said nasty things even though it was destroying me inside.
If I'm crying or low he often asks what's wrong and if I don't want to talk or say I don't know, he gets cross and asks if he's done something wrong. Why can't he understand (and I have tried several times to explain) that I haven't always got a reason it's just how I'm feeling.
I am on anti-depressants and have made another appt today to see the dr and I am having counselling.

I felt the best way for me to handle today, was to stay away from where I feel uncomfortable until I've heard from the police. Now I'm not so sure if being at home is the best place for me either and feel like I've got nowhere to turn.

[diana_holbourn]

Sorry to hear about the way you're feeling. I don't think you're expecting too much, but maybe your husband is. Has he explained anything about why he's behaving the way he is? Has he explained to you what his feelings are about what happened and how he's feeling now? Do you think that maybe he might be frustrated that things haven't moved on faster with your recovery and he doesn't know what to do about it? It can take a long time to recover, but if he doesn't understand that, do you think he might be a bit impatient? Can you think of anything you can suggest to him that you do together that might make him feel that progress is being made towards your recovery? If he feels that things are moving forward and he's contributing to that, maybe he'd feel more favourable towards you. Have you got any supportive people around you?