What could have been used?

[Candy]

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Hi, I'm looking for some advice for a friend of mine.

My friend is married and a few months ago, when her relationship with her husband was not going very well, developed a sort of crush on a guy from work and sent him a letter detailing her feelings. The guy said he wasn't interested and that was that.

Ever since, however, the guy has developed an unhealthy infatuation with her - following her, telephoning and pretending to be from different companies and going to the same social places as her, dressed up in disguise.

Now the scary bit - somehow, she says that this guy has managed to steal her keys from her bag and have a front door key cut. He has then gone into the house on two occasions, drugged her and raped her.

She says that she remembers something being put over her mouth and she could hear and feel everything that was going on but could not wake up. Does anyone know of any chemical or otherwise which could have brought on these symptoms??

She will not go to the police about this in case her husband finds out, confronts the guy and he produces the letter she had originally written.

She has said things at work to this guy and he knows that she knows what has happened, even though she was drugged at the time.

I really don't know what to do - ever since she told me about this I have not slept a wink. I am really worried for her as she keeps saying she just wants god to come and take her one night.

It's a catch 22 situation and whatever happens someone is going to get hurt, but I can't just sit back and do nothing about this.

Candy
xxx

[Saffron]

Hi Candy

I'm afraid I have no idea what could have been used, but I do know there are paralysis drugs that can have that effect. whether they are available over the counter i have no idea.

However, I do also think that your friend should tell her husband everything. No marriage runs smoothly all the time, and what she did is not unforgiveable. If she tells her husband everything, they can work against this monster as a couple and get the police involved.

I think she should also make sure that if it happens again, she saves a urine sample as soon as possible after the event, and if possible some DNA as well. The police will be far more likely to proceed with charges if there is proof that she was drugged, and that intercourse did take place.

I hope you don't think i am poking my nose in by saying the above. Obviously I do not know the individuals conerned, so have no idea whether her husband would react badly to this revelation or not. All i can tell you is that my husband kept his ordeal a secret from me for over 3 months, and it nearly killed him. It also did him no favours in court.

hope your friend is OK. she is lucky to have you.

Saffron x

[Candy]

Hi Saffron,

Thanks so much for your reply - it really helped. My friend told me not to tell anyone about this, but it has been such a burden to keep to myself that I just had to tell someone, which is why I decided to write it down on this site.

At first, I wasn't sure whether this was all in her head - it just sounds too unbelieveable to be true, but when I did some research on the internet, there are recipes on there for chloroform and allsorts, using basic household ingredients, so it was then that I realised what she was telling me was feasible.

She has now decided to put in a transfer to another office - she works for a multi-national company and has confided in her Union Rep, who was not suprised by her revelations. The Union Rep also tried to get her to take this further, but she refused, saying she has no evidence.

I guess all I can do is be there for her to listen and support her when she needs me.

Thanks again for listening.

Candy