Complete Mess

[Rachel]

Can't stop crying don't know why! Picking arugments for no reason! Stuck in what feels like hell! Just feel like a complete mess.

[diana_holbourn]

If you don't know why you're so upset, here's something that might help you clarify the reasons. I went to a psychology lecture recently where they taught that everyone has the same basic emotional needs, and if they're all being met, they shouldn't have mental health problems. So it can help if they try to work out what's lacking in their lives, and then they can try to work out what to do about it. They said that some people need some of these things more than others, but to some extent, everyone needs them. They said that basic emotional needs include:

? security - stable family, safe territory to live in;
? a sense of autonomy (making choices) and control;
? being part of a wider community;
? attention - both giving and receiving it;
? friendship, emotional intimacy;
? emotional connection to others;
? status - recognition amongst peers; (not necessarily for something major, but just of some kind of value)
? self-esteem - achievement;
? meaning - which comes from being stretched in what we think and do.

It might help if you can work out which of those needs is lacking in your life, if any, and then think about what you could do to resolve it. Hopefully, people here will be helpful in talking things through with you, if you want. Maybe it would be best to go through them one by one thinking about what might help, rather than thinking about them all before beginning to think of what you can do about it, because doing that might make you depressed.

[Rachel]

Still a complete mess! going round in circles! But I'll get there in the end, I also do don't I?

[diana_holbourn]

Sorry you haven't received that much support here recently.

I've been off-line for a while.

Have you clarified in your mind exactly what you think is bothering you so much?

Do you think you could be suffering from depression? If you are, there's a website that might help called the Depression Learning Path. It's meant as a self-help thing for people to get over depression. Quite a lot of it's about how people's situations can be made much worse by the way and amount they think about them. For instance, depression can make people think that everything's hoepless, rather than thinking of their lives as part bad and part good. The website discusses the way people think, so people can try to change their thinking patterns. And they've got a forum where depressed people can get help.