I think I'm suffering from PTSS

[Andrea]

I discovered 2 years ago that what I thought had been a drunken one night stand was in fact a drug rape. I have been devastated and have made a few mistakes at work and have been disciplined. I want to move on and went to my doctor yesterday, he told me to stop playing the victim and move on. I am finding that very difficult as the man in question lives close by and I have not seen him since he told me what he had done 2 years ago! My doctor is sending me to Relate but there is an eight week waiting list. Any suggestions in the meantime, as I have not been sleeping well, feel quite anxious and my concentration is poor. I want to get back to normal a.s.a.p.

[Stacey]

I think you should find another doctor for a start. I was raped four months ago, and am having problems with PTSD, but there IS support available for you if you want to use it. You don't say where you are from, but there should be some kind of local rape crisis service, which you can find at www.rapecrisis.org (I think that's right?) They can offer you listening support, counselling, help you through this difficult. I can't believe a doctor spoke to you like that. Goes to show they don't have the answers to everything.
If you, you can email me directly stacey_loren@hotmail.com if I can be of any help. I'm from Leeds, I'm 21 and was raped by a friend last December. I'm sorry you are going through this too. Take care x

[val lavender]

Hi Stacy

I am in Leeds tommorow, the 13th, I know its very short notice but do you think that a face to face meeting, and discussion of how to get the police moving might help.

we are leaving at 06.00 and I can be contacted on either 07973 760894 or 07985 507264.

We are meeting someone else @ 14.30 at the Obidiah Brook pub but by 16.00 our time is our own.

Please call me & let me know if you want to meet up.



Regards

[Stacey]

That would have been excellent, but I'm busy all of today! Boo! Thank you very much for the offer though, do email me if you're up in Leeds again!

[diana_holbourn]

Andrea, you could try doing relaxation techniques, especially in the evenings when they might help calm you down so you get a good night's sleep. There are many sites with suggestions on the Internet. In the daytime, some of the exercises might stop you feeling so anxious. They don't have to be complicated things. During the day, you could try breathing slowly and deeply a lot of the time; that calms the body's responses.

There are a few therapies which claim to relieve trauma fast. One's called the rewind technique. You can find out more about it here, and maybe find a therapist, if you think you could afford one: http://www.rewindtechnique.com/

And another type of fast trauma relief therapy is described here: http://www.answers.com/emdr

Why did your doctor suggest Relate?!

[Snoopyseed]

Hello im so sorry i came in late to this post.
Firstly i would not hesitate to complain to the practice manager about your doctors uncaring and unprofesional attitude. I would even take it as far as complaining to the General Medical Council about this persons behaviour.Relate is not the place to go to for treatment of PTSD either!
PTSD is a very serious and debilitating condition which can cause the sufferer to experience flashbacks and triggers as well as a whole host of other problems including suicidal thoughts, self harm, and severe depression all of which can be treated with conventional medication, natural remedies and alternative therapies.
As a survivor of rape and a survivor of PTSD and suicidal depression myself that now runs a support group andworks as a therapist i can tell you that there is a way out. Unfortunatly you have come across a bad egg so to speak in seeking that help.If you can hun see another doctor you dont have to give an explantaion as to why you want to request another GP you can just do it it is your right.
For starters there are plenty of medications out there to help you cope with triggers and flashbacks and lack of sleep, including antidepressants and sleepers, which are very good but i would reccomend them short term until you can get into other services for a good range of therapies.When i was really bad i went to the GP and he gave me Diazepam to sleep and Venlafaxine for depression they didnt agree with me so i went down the natural remedy route until an appointment with a psychotherapist came through.
For sleep problems you can take Valerian tablets, for panic attacks and triggers you can take Bach Flower Rescue Remedy, for Depression you can take St.Johns Wort but please make sure you inform your new GP that you are taking the above if you decide to do so.
I went for a therapy called Reiki (which i now am fully qualified in i loved it so much) which works on many levels to get to the root of the problem and incorporates counselling and other techniques (i do a combination of a range of things that helped me so i know they work&#33
You can also try Hypnosis that is very good and Stress Management.These things though cost money if you can afford it it is money well spent, if you cant sometimes your GP can refer you to complimentary therapists if they are in your area.If not request with your new GP that you would like to see a counsellor or psychologist.PTSD is a treatable condition and there is no need for you to suffer, i really cant beleive some peoples complete lack of understanding with these things!
Im so sorry that you were treated so unfairly and disrespectufully, there are of course other helplines that can help you such as rape crisis lines, they can talk with you about services in your area and further more ask your new GP if there are any support groups in your area for rape survivors.
Good luck with everything, keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!
Snoopy

[val lavender]

Hi Stacey

I am back in Leeds on the 18th of June for the FASO AGM, would you like to come to that?


Regards

[Andrea]

Thankyou for all your replys of support. Although I think my Dr. (this was only our 2nd meeting&#33 was completely insensitive, it has given me a slap in the face and has made me decide that perhaps I can walk past this man in the street without falling apart or attacking him! I think someone not as strong as myself could have gone home from the Dr.s and felt so much worse about everything. I decided to tell my employers about what I have been going through over the last two years and why I've made mistakes at work, they were very supportive and understanding, which is great. In a way I wish I could walk past this man soon just to get it out of the way, perhaps it won't be such a big deal after all. I work for a mental health charity and run a relaxation/meditation class once a week, so I do understand the value of such techniques. I think my Dr. recommeded Relate because he thought I was wrong to tie me making mistakes with what this man did to me, although he couldn't explain why I've had this job for 16 years and only started making mistakes 2 years ago.

[val lavender]

Hi Andrea

I am not a fan of aged allegations as I work with many people who have had to deal with false accusations from the dim and distant past.

However, if this man drugged you and then raped you, you should really report this matter to the police. Have you done this?


Regards

[Stacey]

Originally posted by val lavender@14th April 2005 - 12:36 PM
Hi Stacey

I am back in Leeds on the 18th of June for the FASO AGM, would you like to come to that?
Regards

Quoted post

Yes indeedy! Email me more details and I'll do my best to be there. What's FASO?

[val lavender]

FASO is the "false allegations support organisation, their website can be found at www.false_allegations.org.uk.

The AGM is being held on June 18th at the Brickmakers Arms in Walkeringham, I can probably arrange a lift there and back for you from Leeds if you let me know you want to come.

I will also make sure that you are sent an "e-invite" and it would be good to meet you.

Could you do me a favour? Would you go into the jury service letter forum and add your thoughts please.

How are things going with the police, if they are still dithering please let me know and I will tell you how to light a fire under them


Regards

[Andrea]

I reported this to the Police shortly after finding out. They said I didn't stand a chance of getting it to court as I had no evidence. I am 100% positive that this man drugged me as I can remember bits from the evening, and the worse part was I can remember telling him No several times, even after he drugged me. I cannot forgive him for what he did and don't know if that is holding me back from moving on. Any advice?

[diana_holbourn]

Unfortunately, since rapists are generally serial offenders, he'll probably attack others. But hopefully, someone will be able to take him to court and he will eventually end up in prison where he belongs.

However, forgiving him would improve your health. It might be easier to do it if you think of it like this: He messed your life up once, but if you allow the rest of your life to be blighted by the anger you feel for him, it'll be as if he still has power over you, and that's just what he'll want. You're allowing him to win by letting yourself remain miserable because of him. If you can let go of the anger, you let go of the power he still has over you. So you gain a victory over him.

[Saffron]

There is a common saying that the best form of revenge is survival. I agree with Diana.

[Saffron]

Originally posted by Andrea@18th April 2005 - 09:39 PM
I reported this to the Police shortly after finding out. They said I didn't stand a chance of getting it to court as I had no evidence. I am 100% positive that this man drugged me as I can remember bits from the evening, and the worse part was I can remember telling him No several times, even after he drugged me. I cannot forgive him for what he did and don't know if that is holding me back from moving on. Any advice?

Quoted post

This attitude is not shared by all areas within the police force. I have heard of plenty of cases (includng that of my husband's) which have still made it to court, despite there being no evidence other than the victim's word.