A little light please

[Shauna]

Hi there,

I've just recently joined this group in hope someone might be able to answer some questions and put my mind at ease a little. I was raped last January and attened Grand Jury last August. They've yet to find the guy to serve him papers so a court date could be set. As much as I would love to forget about it all and put it behide me I just can't let this go after all the humiliation, the pain, and all the other changes that come attached with an assault like this. What I don't know is what to expect? How will court be? What will happen? If found guilty what will happen to him? Do people normally find closure after court or will the feelings continue to linger for much longer? I had such a terribly hard time talking at Grand Jury I'm afraid of what will happen at Court? Even though I thought I was okay with it, just seeing my Detective and having the details gone back over did something to me and it became very obvious that I wasn't as okay as I thought I was. Any suggestions on how to make it easier?



Warm Regards,
Shauna

[diana_holbourn]

I would encourage you to go through with the court case, because if they find this man, he'll need to be put away in case he attacks other people, and rapists usually do attack more than one person. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but you might feel quite bad after the court case for a while even if he's found guilty and put in prison, because the questioning might be humiliating, and bringing the matter up again in detail will be upsetting. If he's found not guilty, you'll obviously feel a lot worse, because you'll think it was a wasted effort and you might worry that he might find you and try to get revenge on you for bringing the case. At least if he's found guilty and put in prison, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing he's getting some justice and that other people in the community are being protected from him for a few years.

I think the only thing you can do to make things easier may be to try to prepare yourself as much as possible for the type of questions you might be asked, so you won't be surprised by anything they might bring up and so can answer them better. Defence barristers like to try to discredit the characters of the accusers so the juries won't find them so believable. If you're prepared for the tactics they can use, you might not let them get away with so much. Things might be a bit different where you come from, but I suggest you read an interview with ten barristers about their tactics done a few years ago: Prosecuting and Defending Rape: Perspectives from the Bar. (It's a PDF file.)

Another thing it's important to do is to make sure you've got a good support network around you, whether it's through a rape crisis organisation, family and friends or online forums, so they'll be plenty of people you can talk to if you feel the need. There are links to other support groups elsewhere on this forum, but if you'd like a couple, just say.

[val lavender]

Hi Shauna

I am normally involved in the defence of such allegations, but I do believe that the guilty in such cases should be tried fairly and I feel that this includes the prosecution witnesses not being intimidated by the courts processes.

It would be a good idea, if it is possible, to go to a case and sit in the public benches and see what is done and how things proceed in these matters.

This should give you an idea of what you are likely to be facing.

Hope this helps

Regards

Val

[Shauna]

Hello all,
I appreciate the advice. I do believe that everyone should have the rights to a fair and equal trial. I would expect no less. I just don't know how to prepare myself so I can present my case efficiently. I had such a very hard time at Grand Jury and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't talk and all I could do was cry. It makes me feel that much weaker. I thought I was okay but somehow when I got to the court house I wasn't. One of the main reasons I've stayed with this is because right after the attack a friend of his came forward and apologized to me for not telling me that he had a past of violent attacks on females, especially rape. He gave me the names of the women but all of them refuse to come forward, which makes my case that much harder. Any links that can be given would be helpful. As much as I want to stand up and do my best to prove that THIS did happen and that he IS a monster, theres a small part of me that just wants to withdrawl and leave it alone. The bad part being that that small part just tends to grow and become bigger and bigger whenever I'm faced with it again.


Regards,
Shauna

[diana_holbourn]

If you're in America, you'll hopefully be allocated a lawyer who you can talk to about the proceedings before they happen, and you can ask them how best to prepare yourself.

As for staying calm in court, perhaps it might help if you try to get things out of your system a bit now by joining a forum specifically designed for the purpose of giving people moral support and encouragement and allowing people to talk through their experiences. There's one here: http://pub41.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?u...462926451&cpv=1

But at the same time, I'd advise you to try to keep your mind on the fact that many women could be protected from him in the future if you're successful in getting him put in prison and that you deserve justice, to keep yourself wanting to proceed with this.

[Shauna]

Thank you Diana. The only thing to do is to keep as positive as possible about it all and go through with it.

Thanks again
Shauna

[Taylirr]

Hey Shauna, as someone with past experience, I can tell you that court will be hard. You will more than likely feel bad no matter what verdict you get because the rape will have been brought up and talked about all over again. I got a guilty verdict in my case and I still felt so weak and out of control but soon I got stronger again.
I know it's hard to think of the prospect of going to court but it is the right thing to do and in the long run, it will give you more confidence and make you feel stronger.
Take Care.
Taylirr xx

[Shauna]

Thank you Taylirr
I really don't know what else to do rather than buckle down and go through with court. I would like to drop the case sometimes but I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I did. The longer the silence draws out and I don't hear anything about court the more un-nerved I become. The prospect of this of court coming up without me being prepared for it really doesn't settle well in my stomach.

I've made it this far, I believe I can stick to my guns for the remainder of it.

Thank you again
Shauna

[Taylirr]

Hey Shauna, you're right.. you've come this far so you can go the distance. As long as you tell the truth in court, there's nothing else that you can do. I was 13 when I had to go to court (I'm 15 now) and I was terrified because I was thinking that because I'm a kid, they'd rip me apart. It was a bad experience and one that I woud never like to repeat but I'm glad I did it because it stopped my stepdad from hurting anyone else.
However, I'm sure you have lots of support around you and you have to hold on to the people who are helping you because you'll need them lots more after court.
I hope that my advice is in some way helping you! I always think that when people see I'm only 15, they think that my advice won't help them or do them any good but hopefully it can.
Take Care
Taylirr xx