No one to turn too

[RFLH]

Sammy, sadly this site is not a joke - but a much needed place to come for advice and help. People deal with the emotions any way they can to get through the day.

My apologies if the banter was off-putting for you, its the way I cope best.

I admire you for going to college, what a strong lady you must be - don't let this grind you down. Go as far as you feel you want to.

[sammy64]

thankyou .

I have just been exploring this site...Am sorry I got worried about your banter, keep it up, nothing like a good laugh to cheer you up...

[RFLH]

That's the trouble with knocking about with RF - she leads me into bad ways!

Keep posting, it does help, doesn't have to be on the subject at hand.

Being nosy, what are you studying at college?

[Rights Fighter]

Cheeky moo RFLH!

[isi]

Hi Sammy! please dont take matters into your own hands as it could result in something happening to you. You have everything in your favour because you reported it straight away and that why the police want to do the statement.

Do at least give the haven a try, if its not helpful after you have gone then maybe try a different avenue. You may find its what you need and they may be able to offer you the right support.

It is natural to feel angry and why shouldnt you, you have every right. Its just about using your anger in the right way, and that would be going to the police and making a statement especially if you feel like you need to be proactive about it. But it does boil down to what you want to do. No one can force you to make a statement, I am just surprised that they did not do it straight after your visit to the Haven as they like to get the process over and done with quickly because if they leave it then it creates anxiety as you know and victims are generally less likely to make a statement due to the emotional impact of rape.

I am gald that you could pick yourself up and get out to college, its the best thing you can do. Just take one day at a time.

This forum is real, its just some people know each other quite well. I know it doesnt help that there is some banter on the posts when you are feeling very serious and upset as there is nothing funny about what you are going through. I am glad it has not put you off though. Sometimes laughing is the last thing you feel able to do but it does remind you of what you should be doing.

Isi x

[RFLH]

Morning Sammy, hope you're feeling a little brighter today.

[sammy64]

Morning

Hi and thanks again for emails. My SOIR officer came back from holiday Monday and she is coming to see me today.....Thank God !!!!! will keep you updated. Thanks for ALL your help once again x

[RFLH]

That's good news. I look forward to hearing some positive news from you soon.

[Saffron]

Good news, Sammy. I hope the SOIT officer can help shed some light onto what is happening. Fingers crossed for you!

[sammy64]

Soit

My SOIT officer came to see me, just came back off holiday (she lovely)..on nights next week, so only time i can make video statement is 28th,,!!!!! Am gonna do it as well....He tried to rape me , still got no victim support, even after I managed to getr through to them , I told them i couldnt shut my batghroom window and needed it fixed , cos i was raped..They said would be in contact with someone i could talk too....3 days ago , and ive heard nothing !!!!!! was offered appointment at croydon and Haven, had'nt seen Imy SOIR officer yet !! so needed to see her first before I could do anything...It seems to me that I need some knid of legal hekp, Can you advise me please x

[sammy64]

Hello again

Had a drink, still feeliing STRONG, but get these waves that keep coming over me trying to drown me. Wondered what you all thought about the timing of my (LOVELY) SOIR officer going on holiday next day (not her fault), came back and she bought me up to date on things.. this was weds 14th. I was raped on the 2nd October...She made me feel so muchy better, but mainly told me things like."He couldnt come down my road, his family not allowed to contact me (but they have)..He said I consented even when (apparently) we fell off my bed onto side table and thats were I gotmy injuries from!! THEN I said (WITH BLOOD FLOWING FROM MY FACE) "F*** me on the floor, ignore the blood"...!!!!! etc....I managed at one point to grab his b*lls and c*ck , 1 in esch hand and twisted them as hard as i could, cos i know he was trying to rape me badly....The thing is , his b*ll*cks MUST have been soo swollen and bruised. I nutted him when he first jumped on me and had my wrists tight and my legs were held tight as well....I couldnt move anyway , i only had my head to move and i nutted him...no one investigated if he was bruised!!!!!No one checked to see if he was swollen or hurt.!!!!!I I had and am still having to go through things.....PHWOAR x

[friday]

hi,
although it seem obvious to us that his story doesnt add up he will be making up anything to try explain away the discrepancies. unfortunately the reality is that no matter how rediclous they seem it is possible he could still walk free. that doesn't mean you aren't believed but that it is a very difficult crime to prove.
it won't go away over night or perhaps ever completely go away but you will become stronger and more able to cope with it and anything that reminds you. some days will be worse than others but when you get a glimpse of things finally seeming "normal" again you have to hold on to that in the knowledge that the "normal" feeling will come back.
x

[isi]

Glad you are feeling stronger and good luck with the statement. Let us know how you get on with everything.

As friday said there is no garantee that there will be any conviction even investigation but at least your mind can rest knowing that you did all that you could do. You should note everything down about his family contacting you and tell the police as soon as anything happens as they are not supposed to be contacting you and can be seen as intimidating the witness.

Try not to drink, spend your money on chammomile tea and honey and a bottle of lavender essential oil. It helps much more than the drink. I know cos I used to get wasted on everything I could get my hands on just so I didnt feel like me anymore. and the long term effects are not pretty.

Isi x

[Saffron]

I must say Sammy, it really does sound as though you have a strong case. Hang in there! It is a4seh0les like this that REALLY should be put away. Don't turn to the Demon Rum, I have tried it and it jujst makes you feel worse.
Sending you Big Hugs xx

[friday]

^i agree with that! *she says while severly intoxicated after a 48hr driniking session*