drug rape

[Heidi]

Hi

I haven't been to any sites like this before but i'm finding things really difficult and i don't know anyone who has been through anything even similar. Furthermore, i've lost most of my friends due to what happened.

I'm 19 now and in january of this year i went to a night club with a friend. We had a great night and when the club closed i decided to carry on the night at my flat. I thought i would be fine as my flat mate was in and my friend was coming too. My friend invited some blokes she had been talking to and i said it was ok. Once we got to my flat, we looked in the kitchen and found that we only had a bottle of whisky left; so it was passed around. I had decided i was going to sober up so i could make sure nothing was damaged and my flatmate wasn't woken. My friend disappeared for about 10 minutes to the hallway, and when she came back, she told me she was going home and she was taking one of the blokes with her. I said it was ok because my flatmate (who is 10 years older than me and male) was in his room if i needed him.

Once she had gone, there was me and 5 blokes left in the sitting room. the whisky was still being passed around. They began mocking me because i was sober and was not drinking the whisky so, me being ridiculously susceptable to mocking, i drank the remaining whisky. 2 of the men told me they really fancied me and 1 of them tried to kiss me. when i said i wasn't interested he laughed and sat down on the sofa (i was in a chair by myself).

The next thing i can remember (excluding dreams/flashbacks-not sure which they are) is waking up on the sofa with nothing on from the waist down and being in pain down below. It took me a few moments to register what had happened. I felt so stupid. They had left, leaving my front door open.

Although i went to the police, they told me that there was not much they could do and they haven't been caught. They haven't even questioned my friend or my flatmate (who claimed he heard laughing and 'sexual' noises).

I have no-one to talk to now, as my friends didn't know what to say to me and began making excuses not to see me. I became so depressed and insecure that i became reclusive and frightened to go out. i lost my job and spent all of my time in my room.

I really need to talk to someone, but i don't know where to turn. I don't want to see a professional as i have seen one before and it didn't help.

heidi x

[diana_holbourn]

Have you spoken to anyone at a rape crisis centre? You can find out about a counselling service here:
http://www.rasac.org.uk/

Also, there are mailing lists where you should be able to talk about your feelings and what happened with others who've been through similar experiences. You can find some at http://survive.org.uk/

Also, Survive have a support forum you can post in without registering: http://pub41.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?u...462926451&cpv=1

And you could perhaps join Snoopy's support group at http://groups.msn.com/abcvictimsbreakfree/

Professionals can have very different approaches to therapy, so some may be much more helpful than others, while some can even be harmful. It might be worth considering seeing a professional again at some point, but if you do, I recommend you to decide exactly what you want from your therapy and ask questions to make sure the therapist is experienced in helping people achieve such things and has a good success rate before you go, and/or to discuss with a potential therapist the methods they have of helping people suffering from the things you are, and decide whether or not to go depending on how sensible what they say sounds.

[Snoopyseed]

Originally posted by diana_holbourn@28th September 2004 - 01:33 PM
Have you spoken to anyone at a rape crisis centre? You can find out about a counselling service here:
http://www.rasac.org.uk/

Also, there are mailing lists where you should be able to talk about your feelings and what happened with others who've been through similar experiences. You can find some at http://survive.org.uk/

Also, Survive have a support forum you can post in without registering: http://pub41.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?u...462926451&cpv=1

And you could perhaps join Snoopy's support group at http://groups.msn.com/abcvictimsbreakfree/

Professionals can have very different approaches to therapy, so some may be much more helpful than others, while some can even be harmful. It might be worth considering seeing a professional again at some point, but if you do, I recommend you to decide exactly what you want from your therapy and ask questions to make sure the therapist is experienced in helping people achieve such things and has a good success rate before you go, and/or to discuss with a potential therapist the methods they have of helping people suffering from the things you are, and decide whether or not to go depending on how sensible what they say sounds.

Quoted post

Hello heiedi first of all i want to say well done for coming on here and asking for some support, and i want to let you know that even though you may not want to see a proffesional it really is the best course of action, if you can speak to your GP please do so, as right now what you need is lots and lots of support, depression can be managed and your GP will be able to refer you to specialist organisations such as a post truamatic stress disorder clinic, whatever you tell your GP is confidential and you can even request a new GP if you are not happy seeing your current one without having to give an explanation.The links that diana has posted will also be of some invaluable help.You need time to recover from this what you have been through is devastating, and im so sorry that the police said that thye could not help you in any way at all, im not a solicitor, so i dont know about this, but i have seen in my area that lots of solicitors offer a consultation for free to discuss your needs, for the first time you see them, i dont know what would happen though or if the case would be taken up, but you need to concentrate on surrounding yourself with supportive people, and proffesionals are the best epople to do that.If you do not like your therapist then simply change because it is all about being comfortable with someone.At 19 you are very young to be dealing with this, and your friends are not at all helpful, if thye are making excuses not to see you, then you dont need them to be around you because thye are not going to be truly supportive.There are many help groups where you can sepak to like minded people, but again profesional help will be the best course of action.When people experience what you have been through, it is essential that expert help is sought out asap.Depression can spiral and many people commit suicide each year due to depression, if you feel suicidal at all please call the samaritans who will be able to help you, thye are trained counsellors who not only help suicidal people they are also there to help people through difficult times, when thye cannot cope.My advice would be to muster all the courage you can and go and see your Gp, explain to them what you have explained here, and tell them you are depressed, there could be many local groups in your area that you can go to, and meet new people who have also been through the same experience as you.Later on when you are not feeling so low, you can always look into new areas of your life to help keep you focused, like University, this could also help you to get out of your area for a while and to keep you focused.It will take time to heal from what you have been through my love, but you really do need to speak to people who can help you, reach out and you will get support, please dont suffer alone, make the call to see your GP as soon as you possibly can, you have nothing to lose you only have support and new friends to gain.Please be brave and sit tight until you can see your GP.Also at a rape crisis centre you can speak to counsellors who have also been through what you have been through, and help you through this difficult time in your life, you are also welcome to join my group, if you want to.Well done for being brave and having the courage to speak out for help, please write in and let us know how you are doing, or email me anytime you wish or if you want a private chat.I am also about to set up as a therapist from jan 2005 so i would be happy to help you, if you are in my area, let me know how you get on, im thinking of you.
Snoopy

[Guest]

Hi there Heidi,

It was painful to read your post, its a disgrace that the society we live in today is capable of exploiting women in such a way.
I am posting here to call upon people who have suffered similar abuse to voice their experiences and their opinions on 'date rape' and the drugs involved. I am currently making a student film which deals with such issues in a serious and sensitive manner, and any input put forward would be greatly appreciated.
Obviously I understand that this may not be an issue that you would like to go into further detail over, I wish you all the best in your recovery and for the future.

Simon