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**friday** · 10 September 2009, 12:49 PM

hi chelt girl, sorry to hear about your awful experiences. i have often wondered if i give out "signals" that show i am vulnerable and if this is the reason for my experiences. you can't think like that though. you are not to blame for other peoples sick behaviour.

the police often get a lot of bad press regarding sexual crimes due to the low conviction rate but i know i am not alone in experiencing just how supportive they can be (although i have also experienced unhelpful police as well). what the police are able to do depends very much on what evidence is available (dna, cctv etc). whether or not you report is up to you but whatever you decide there are organisations that can provide support such as rape crisis and RASAC.

hope we can be of some help too, even if its just to listen.
x

**Saffron** · 10 September 2009, 01:37 PM

My husband used to call me a "weirdo magnet" because the nutters on buses and tubes would all start chatting to me. I was also stalked by someone who even turned up at my flat and told my then-boyfriend that he was going to be dumped by me so that I could go out with him (the nutter). There was also a man who was a customer at the petrol station I worked at who followed me home and slept in his car outside my house. I sent my dad out to scare him away. (it worked, my dad is huge, bald and very fierce-looking - although a softie in real life). I also had several hand-written notes put under the wipers of my car inviting me to sex parties...Most odd.

I stopped being a weirdo magnet when I moved out of London...less nutters around in the countryside, or at least they are not concentrated into a one area. There are more flashers in the countryside though, especially in secluded spots.

I don't think it's anything to do with giving out signals, but I do think that sometimes people can spot vulnerability, and the bad ones will use it to their advantage.

Do you know the person who ejaculated over your dress? (or do you suspect someone in particular?) I know it sounds crazy, but even if you washed the dress there could still be traces of semen on it, depending on how long it had been there and which wash cycle you used.

I often think that if you are friendly-looking and generally a kind person, then you are more likely to attract this sort of unwanted attention.

When I was 16, I was waiting at the bus stop to go to school. A man in his 50s pulled up in a car and asked me for directions. I was polite and smiled and gave him directions. The next day he stopped again and gave me a card and a teddy bear, saying that when I had smiled at him it had made my day. The day after that he gave me a gold necklace and said he wanted to take me out to dinner. The day after that my Dad waited at the bus stop with me, and funnily enough the man didn't stop.

You have taken the right step by reporting this. If it happens again, please try to keep the soiled clothing and take it to the police. I know that the immediate reaction is one of disgust, and you want to simply clean the dirt from your clothes, but try to hold it back, put the item in a plastic bag and take it to the police.

FInally, welcome to the site. I am glad you found us.

**RFLH** · 10 September 2009, 02:01 PM

crikey - I must have been invisible all my life! The only people I've attracted are pensioners who tell me their life stories.

I'm glad you've found this site, somewhere you can rant at the world and get support.

**friday** · 10 September 2009, 02:10 PM

sorry, didn't read your post properly. attempting to multitask is just not something i can do. you should be proud of yourself for reporting. its is not something everyone can do and that is exactly how these people get away with it. they make you feel so small and disgusting that you don't want to even say what happened. by saying it though, you are defeating them.

**chelt girl** · 10 September 2009, 04:05 PM

Hi & thaqnks for replying, I wasn't quite sure what sort of replies I'd get tbh.
Saffron No, I don't have a clue who's been doing these things which is worse Imo.
It beggars belief that people can even do these things, in public places & get away with it. I mean not being crude but it wasn't like just a little "dribble" of semen, I was absolutely covered in it, my hair, my back, bum & some on my tights!
Even worse is not one single person who saw me in town (I was in town for nearly 2 hrs) thought of stopping me & pointing out what I had all over me & you can imagine just how utterly embarrassed & humiliated I felt.
Tbh part of me thinks it might have been down to what I was wearing (as it was pretty short & figure hugging), then again it shouldn't matter right?

**RFLH** · 10 September 2009, 04:08 PM

You're right it shouldn't matter what you wear - you're not the one with the problem.

**friday** · 10 September 2009, 04:24 PM

i worked in a fetish club for a while where people were wearing latex and rubber (can't get more figure hugging than that!) or nothing at all. the men would never have dreamed of doing something like that (unless the person wanted them to and they were 100% sure they did) because the men there respect the women.
what you wear does not give people the right to do things like that. we do not live in an age where we believe women must cover up so men don't get ideas. most men understand this and the few that don't are the ones in the wrong. most people (male and female) probably like seeing someone in flattering clothes and you are aware if you wear things which attract attention that you will be looked at but that doesnt mean its ok to touch you or behave inappropriately. that attitude belongs in the middle ages. in fact it doesnt belong anywhere.

**isi** · 10 September 2009, 04:29 PM

Sorry to read you are experiencing such abusive behaviour towards you. Keep reporting everything to the police and keep a diary of everything that happens.

Keep yourself safe in your home and when out and about. Ask the police to do a safety check on your home. Carry a rape alarm when out and try and always make sure someone knows where you are and when you wil be back. Trust your gut feeling too.

x

**chelt girl** · 10 September 2009, 05:08 PM

I know its a horrid thing that happened (& what "could" happen also) but I feel more frustrated & angry right now more than being scared.

Frustrated that I was totally unaware that some pervert was ejaculating over me (god knows where it happened)

Angry as now I know what all the people (esecially other girls) were staring & giggleing about, they obviously found it highly ammusing seeing me like that.

**Saffron** · 10 September 2009, 05:29 PM

It's possible that whoever did it is mentally ill...Afer all, it's hardly a normal thing to do. And from what you say there must have been loads of the stuff....more than the usual tablespoonful or so, at least. What sort of weirdo carries around a tub of it?!

If the person is mentally ill, it's possible that his DNA will be on file, so if it does happen again (and I hope to god it doesn;t) then please keep the evidence and report it again.

Isi's advice is absolutely correct - take extra steps to ensure your own safety, both when you are out and at home. If possible, travel with someone, and definitely carry a rape alarm. Try not to be out and about alone late at night. The less opportunity a nutter has, the better.

And no, it shouldn't matter at all what you wear. Unfortunately there are some sickos who think that a short skirt is an invitation....(lucky for me my legs look like giant parsnips...)

**chelt girl** · 10 September 2009, 05:46 PM

Saffron what you said about being mentally ill is an understatement I agree.
I'm not sure if these pics will help or what but they were posted through my letterbox along with threats etc which basically shows how close this wierdo is getting to me.
I feel so naive & stupid.

**RFLH** · 10 September 2009, 06:03 PM

I do hope that the police take this seriously - if not - keep asking what they're doing to help you.

**Saffron** · 10 September 2009, 06:53 PM

I can't see the pics, so can;t comment on those.
Have you taken them to the police?

**chelt girl** · 10 September 2009, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by Saffron View Post

I can't see the pics, so can;t comment on those.
Have you taken them to the police?

Sorry I don't think I was supposed to have posted pictures up & the got removed
(blame it on the newbie), basically they were of me from behind & one close up of
up my dress with me showing far too much I guess.

Yes, yes I have. All the letters, pictures that he's taken of me while I've been out
etc inc a "diary" I was asked to do.

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