****in HATE the word

[Lilyput]

Please can you just stop, I'm not going to post on here any more I'm pretty sure the situation is hopeless and it's pointless getting advice from anybody anyhow.

[Arsenal12]

I personally can understand both sides of the fence.....victims of Rape..... And victims of being falsely accused......

Both are hideous..... Inhumane....disgusting.... Outrages crimes.......


There are people on this forum on different sides of the "fence"...

I think we should all respect each others opinions.....

We are all entitled to our opinions,...if everybody in this world had the same opinion about something it would not be much of a world!.....

We are different..... We should all respect each others views/opinions......

If I personally don't agree with a view...or opinion...on this forum...I simply try to refrain....from commenting to much to avoid " slanging matches".....as the main purpose of this forum is to support each other and advice...

Perhaps if all this energy and emotions generated from pointing fingers about this subject.....was used in a more positive way to help and support each other on this forum.........it would be beneficial to everybody.....

Because let's face it.....regardless of the "two sides of the fence"......

We all have suffered terrible pain....etc...

So let's quit the blaming and finger pointing.......and support those who need it most

Every minute....every hour....every day....turn the pain into power...

Kind regards
A12

[Arsenal12]

Please can you just stop, I'm not going to post on here any more I'm pretty sure the situation is hopeless and it's pointless getting advice from anybody anyhow.

Lilyput......you should not be made to feel this way......

You are a great contributer to this forum.....don't be forced to leave.....

This forum needs people like you.......as you really help and support others.....

Kind Regards
A12

[Casehardened]

I'm happy to let this particular discussion run being as the OP hasn't logged on since the 31st of March 2007 so is unlikely to feel that the thread has been derailed

(but try to avoid personal attacks!)

[Bene]

How was I speaking for you?

Lily, I don't want to fight with you on this!I understand that your going through a hard time at the moment. I was speaking from my personal experience. I can't tell you how to feel, your offended)only you control your feelings.
Your a lovely girl I do wish you all the best.

[Arsenal12]

Bene Over the course of many weeks....

.I have noticed that any misunderstandings and "finger pointing" that has occurred on this forum.......you appear to be at the centre of this.......

I appreciate your views .and understand that you have had a terrible life experience.. Etc....and some of your support to other members has been good.....

But like I said before.....let's stop "all this finger pointing nonsense"....... And playing the " blame game".....

Of course...on this forum....there will always be disagreements....... This is normal......but let's not upset people........as this can perhaps lead them to leave this forum for good.....

Kind regards
A12

[Bene]

Bene Over the course of many weeks....

.I have noticed that any misunderstandings and "finger pointing" that has occurred on this forum.......you appear to be at the centre of this.......

I appreciate your views .and understand that you have had a terrible life experience.. Etc....and some of your support to other members has been good.....

But like I said before.....let's stop "all this finger pointing nonsense"....... And playing the " blame game".....

Of course...on this forum....there will always be disagreements....... This is normal......but let's not upset people........as this can perhaps lead them to leave this forum for good.....

Kind regards
A12

Hi Aresenal
We have to agree to disagree.
I'm not always in the centre of everything. I'm not always to blame or in the wrong.
But if's that's how you feel than I accept that.

[AmandaF]

I said I'd no longer post on this thread but just for the record : how do I know my OH is not guilty?

Because the same people accused me and I know for damn sure that I did not commit any of the crimes I lost my home, job , sanity and stood trial for.

[Lilyput]

Thanks Arsenal. Amanda I wasn't going to post either, it's probably better if we all agree to disagree different experiences mould people etc. I must admit I know someone who was accused years ago they were NFA'd after a few months and girl who accused was a known liar about other things, yet part of me always wondered and avoided being alone with them.
I don't think you'll change anybody's mind, right now personally I'm barely hanging on and if I start entertaining what people think I know I will one hundred percent loose it.

[innocentson]

Stay positive & strong

Thanks Arsenal. Amanda I wasn't going to post either, it's probably better if we all agree to disagree different experiences mould people etc. I must admit I know someone who was accused years ago they were NFA'd after a few months and girl who accused was a known liar about other things, yet part of me always wondered and avoided being alone with them.
I don't think you'll change anybody's mind, right now personally I'm barely hanging on and if I start entertaining what people think I know I will one hundred percent loose it.

Lilly ; try to take away the positives from this site & ignore the rest .... Many of us have been where you are (including being hooked on other people's comments). Ignore it : stay strong - you know truth will win out in the end (it did for us ) . Take care of yourself in the interim ... Sending you positive vibes x

[AmandaF]

The thing is, if you read posts from both falsely accused and alleged rape victims - we are basically all saying the same thing- the lack of belief, no investigation to prove our stories, humiliation and ongoing personal affects.
It would make more sense if we fought this together.

Even the fact that those victims of assault are saying"How do you know he's innocent- you weren't there"? by the same token we could say- no witnesses so maybe you're making it up?
Unfortunately under cross examination the fiscal said pretty much those exact words- "You weren't there all the time were you"? and sat down, giving me no chance to answer

The similarities should be a strength, not a division.

But to say we're naive???

Speechless.......(for once)

[innocentson]

The thing is, if you read posts from both falsely accused and alleged rape victims - we are basically all saying the same thing- the lack of belief, no investigation to prove our stories, humiliation and ongoing personal affects.
It would make more sense if we fought this together.

Even the fact that those victims of assault are saying"How do you know he's innocent- you weren't there"? by the same token we could say- no witnesses so maybe you're making it up?
Unfortunately under cross examination the fiscal said pretty much those exact words- "You weren't there all the time were you"? and sat down, giving me no chance to answer

The similarities should be a strength, not a division.

But to say we're naive???

Speechless.......(for once)

The truth will be out for you too Amanda ; it always does in the end ; just some cases take longer than others. Scottish law appears even more barbaric, if they don't allow you to see "unused evidence" ... It was insisting on seeing this that proved our sons innocence. In the interim ignore the "nieve" comments of the individual that yet again triggered this unhelpful dialogue. Stay strong ! X

[Lilyput]

What I find hurtful and what left me speechless was 'just' false allegations to be honest. I'm not going to argue it all I can say is if the person saying it had children they may understand a little. Coming from different view points it's pointless. I do it get before this I'd have been from the 'no smoke without fire' stand point but the truth is someone can just make something up and even if there is proof it didn't happen police usually still investigate and hand it to CPS.

[AmandaF]

Yes I was there too- no smoke without fire ,

I just cannot understand the depths of people's depravity.
My OH's defence was that he (we) were smoke screens for the crimes of others but at the time the evidence for that was very flimsy and here we are 6 months after he's convicted does the truth actually start to be revealed. But because this is Scottish law there is very little that can be done now but hopefully it gives us a chance to go to the SCCRC once our FA's case is over.

It's not only sexual offences that people are falsely accused of either- it's all across the board and all about revenge.

I have an awful lot of empathy for genuine victims of any kind of sexual assault- I know only too well what the consequences are but until we can all see the other's point of view the arguments will continue.
I don't recall anyone here demanding that false accusers should be hung but their lies and deceit are just as harmful and please don't argue that the scars aren't physical- how many have attempted or even committed suicide because of it? What about those who have been battered or even murdered just because someone THOUGHT that person was guilty?

there was on incident here when an innocent man was set on fire and died because someone had said he was a paedophile and it actually was just a rumour

[Lilyput]

I wish I knew FA's reasons I can't imagine why she'd make it up or wait over a decade to do so? I suspect it may be a career move or a story she told her boyfriend who told her to go the police. She has a history of being a bit unstable, OH had to contact police as she kept turning up at his flat. The fact there's no apparent motive which scares me if it goes to court, if there weren't so many witnesses saying exactly the same as him when they've not talked in years, it may well of ended us as this is no revengeful ex, I wish we knew why?