****in HATE the word

[ItsMyFault]

okay, i dunno about you, but who else hates that word! ill only write it once, RAPE,
i cant stand it! i cant stand to hear it, i cant stand to say it i hate even looking at it!!!
its just, to me, is so horrible.
and i HATE when people use it so lightly! like " Oh no! *insert word here*" when they are kidding around!
does anyone else feel this way?

[ayla]

Hi! this is my first post here, i agree with you, i cant stand to say it or hear it, it really hurts when people joke about it too, i mean people dont joke about cancer or stuff like that, i think its just as difficult to deal with.

[bellygoddess]

Rape

Hi,yes it is a horribile word,but i believe in calling rape by its name,not implying that it is something else.RAPE is RAPE.The word is very empwering to use,when telling people about my experiences.

[Unregistered]

Sometimes Rape is used in a poor context and people will often downplay it in order to make it seem less severe, because to admit it for what it is, would mean admitting that it could happen to them. It is not the individuals who misplace this word but society's attitude towards rape that needs to change, it is the second most feared crime next to murder and so tends to be something that people dont like to embrace but put away in a sense that cannot relate to them. They dont mean to hurt the victims of these crimes but are just preserving themselves from the reality that is rape.

[MGR]

For years I used to say that I was attacked. Now I try to say I was raped because that is what happened. Saying anything else downplays it.

I agree though that I hate seeing the word misused. As I've said before, when I first found this forum, I searched for a rape forum on the internet and the first one I found was concerning "rape fantasies" now that makes me sick.

[Cassie]

I hate the thought of it

I hate the word as well, every time I hear it or say it, it reminds me of my past and I always feel worthless and dirty and useless. I went through a bad period of my life...not a few weeks or a few months, more like 4 years and I'm just getting out of it and trying to recover.

I hate how teenagers use the word in every day conversation when joking about, they don't know how traumatic it is, hopefully they never will, I just wish people wouldn't use it unless in proper conversation.

[rosemay09]

Hate "that" word and worse word

The word Rape yes it's horrible, it feels so horrifically descriptive, but there's one word i've come to hate more "victim". It's demeaning, it's a title and I hate it.

[rosemay09]

For years I used to say that I was attacked. Now I try to say I was raped because that is what happened. Saying anything else downplays it.

I agree though that I hate seeing the word misused. As I've said before, when I first found this forum, I searched for a rape forum on the internet and the first one I found was concerning "rape fantasies" now that makes me sick.

I did the exact same, and since reporting "my" rape (i hate how that sounds, like a happy pet to own) i've found that due to my nervousness of using the word my friends didn't realise what i'd tried to tell them.

[Strugglingtomoveon]

I also hate the word. It makes me wince whenever i hear it, although in written form it isn't as upsetting. I can type that i was raped but i can't say it.

This has really prevented me from getting any kind of help.

[rosemay09]

Agree

I also hate the word. It makes me wince whenever i hear it, although in written form it isn't as upsetting. I can type that i was raped but i can't say it.

This has really prevented me from getting any kind of help.

I

I totally agree, tonight the (new) girlgriend of rapist confronted me, we had a fight . now im in trouble at work!

she said i'd made it all up and it broke me,

[Bene]

I

I totally agree, tonight the (new) girlgriend of rapist confronted me, we had a fight . now im in trouble at work!

she said i'd made it all up and it broke me,

Hi Rosemay, Hun I'm so glad you came back!! Didn't think you would after last time!!
Aww I'm so sorry that happened, perhaps try talking to your manager or a superviser about the situation. Please don't take what the new rapist's gf said to heart to much) she wasn't there poor girl is being feed lies she don't know any better. Try I know is hard but see things from her prospective. As human beings we always want to think the very best of the people we love. No one wants to ever think or believe that there bf, Husband son ect is a rapist, pedophile, murder. We all do it. I have a brother his only 9 but I wouldn't want to think of him being capable of doing something like that. It's human instict to want to protect the ones we love, defend them and believe them think the best of them. Even at times when were right and even when were wrong.


What sometimes I don't get is how ( I'll probably get some slack for saying this) don't intend to offend anyone ) I'm talking about rape victim and not false accusers!!!) I don't get how some women who are like I'm 100% sure he didn't do this blah blah) sometimes I want to laugh at them, just laugh at how naive some of them are. The facts are that weren't there first of all) secondly unless you where there and the offence didn't take place at all, or the victim has given story just doesn't make any sense and keeps changing. Other than that you really don't know, you may hope, pray and want to believe with every inch of your body he didn't do this. But hoping is not the same as fact. The truth is someone can be the most amazing bf to you, husband. Son, friend ) and still be a rapist!!

My attacker sister said to me " this is your problem" that's the problem it's always someone else problem when it's someone else's daughter, sister or mother, some just don't care as long as they're happy that's all that matters.

Stay strong rosemay, you know the truth, God knows the truth he knows the truth.
Xx
Xx

[Lilyput]

I've previously thought people were being harsh with you Bene but what you've said isn't nice. I don't think you can for a second understand the living hell of someone you love being falsely accused. I have no family around, don't work enough hours to support myself and my children, if this goes wrong I am completely alone and will loose everything, in every sense of the word. Yet in that instance it's me who will have to be strong. Supporting someone who's been falsely accused society judges you though you've done nothing wrong. You can't win. If you question him at all your not being supportive. If you stand by him your naive, it's horrible.

As for being 100 hundred percent sure, in our case there are witnesses, police said he was recommending NFA as in his own words her story doesn't add up. Solicitor called it farcical. FA met him three times, I've built a life and a family for years no ounce of violence towards women, surely I would know better.
I hate that word too it hangs over my life and I stand to loose my whole entire world on something that someone has randomly said happened before I met him.

There are tons and tons of sites and help for rape victims (as well there should be) but this site is also for the falsely accused and their families, even the Samaritans sounded judgmental can you imagine that? Having no where to turn, this site is it for some of us.

[rosemay09]

Hi Rosemay, Hun I'm so glad you came back!! Didn't think you would after last time!!
Aww I'm so sorry that happened, perhaps try talking to your manager or a superviser about the situation. Please don't take what the new rapist's gf said to heart to much) she wasn't there poor girl is being feed lies she don't know any better. Try I know is hard but see things from her prospective. As human beings we always want to think the very best of the people we love. No one wants to ever think or believe that there bf, Husband son ect is a rapist, pedophile, murder. We all do it. I have a brother his only 9 but I wouldn't want to think of him being capable of doing something like that. It's human instict to want to protect the ones we love, defend them and believe them think the best of them. Even at times when were right and even when were wrong.


What sometimes I don't get is how ( I'll probably get some slack for saying this) don't intend to offend anyone ) I'm talking about rape victim and not false accusers!!!) I don't get how some women who are like I'm 100% sure he didn't do this blah blah) sometimes I want to laugh at them, just laugh at how naive some of them are. The facts are that weren't there first of all) secondly unless you where there and the offence didn't take place at all, or the victim has given story just doesn't make any sense and keeps changing. Other than that you really don't know, you may hope, pray and want to believe with every inch of your body he didn't do this. But hoping is not the same as fact. The truth is someone can be the most amazing bf to you, husband. Son, friend ) and still be a rapist!!

My attacker sister said to me " this is your problem" that's the problem it's always someone else problem when it's someone else's daughter, sister or mother, some just don't care as long as they're happy that's all that matters.

Stay strong rosemay, you know the truth, God knows the truth he knows the truth.
Xx
Xx

Thank you, this has made me cry but happy tears!
I didn't want to come back after I got caught up in a "false accusations page".

I'm still in shock about last night. We all worked for the same company, she left and I recently found out he was fired (but I don't know why).
I do understand that you'd never want to believe someone is capable of that. I know him too, he's clever, charming and manipulative. A friend of mine said his new GF is very emotionally damaged and has a lot of "issues" herself.

I agree with you so much, and I think she said what she said to me because she knows he did it. He gave her a black eye a few months back (mutual friend told me) and she said it was from "play fighting", if that is true it at least shows he is strong enough to hurt someone.
My biggest fear and the reason I didn't go to the police was fear of being laughed at, fear of someone saying "you're a liar" or similar. So for her to say that, it just broke me. I couldn't stop crying or shaking. Luckily, my friends came to see me and my dad picked me up.. I'm 22, I should be having fun not living in fear!

[AmandaF]

Bene- what you've said is what we all face as wrongly accused, but we can turn it round and say there are rarely witnesses to rape so was the crime committed?

In so many ways we are all facing the same kind of horrors- it's a pity we can't all sing from the same hymn sheet.

You want to know how I'm 1000 % certain my OH is innocent? One of his "crimes" was committed while we were out of the country. I could go on and on and on but it falls on deaf ears.

I've come across women who are in denial of their partner's crimes, one of our FA's for a start, but they certainly don't find their way to this forum

[AmandaF]

Unfortunately the amount of false accusers who come forward are some way to blame for your fear of not being believed.

It is false accusers, not the falsely accused at whom you should spit your venom.