What do I do?

[Serena]

I am hoping that someone with some sort of knowledge can offer advice. I don't even know whether I belong on here or not but I am sure someone can tell me. When I was 12 I was placed into Foster care with my 14 year old Brother. We spent 2 years in care and moved to different homes. I am sure you can imagine that I was totaly dependant on him and he took great advantage of this. There was no penetration but his sperm was placed inside me. I do not know if this is sexual assault, rape or child abuse. The fear of being alone for me gave him total protection so I never said anything to anyone. This is now haunting me the same questions going through my mind every day every night, but I do not want to destroy his family his wife is so good but I do feel that I am slowly digging myself into a deep hole. I am now 28 and feeling that this is making me unhappy I don't know why it is making me feel this way now. If anyone can advise then it would be very helpfull to me.

Thank you

[Emma]

I seriously think that you should put this behind you. This was something that happened when you were boh very vulnerable children and possibly just experimenting wih feelings.
He is happily married and I believe I am right in thinking that nothing happened since that age?
You need to stop beating yourself up about it and move on [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Rights Fighter]

I can&#39;t see how, if there was no penetration, that you know for certain his sperm went inside you. Your post is not clear about this issue. There is no mention of anything else occuring in your post.

Is it possible that you cuddled up as children and you now feel something else happened? False memory has a lot to answer for. Especially when we are going through a bad time.

I was brought up in care (children&#39;s home) for several years and I know that we kids played all sorts of "games" that involved "Doctor&#39;s and Nurses" and "Mummys and Daddys" etc, but no abuse was involved in that whatsoever.

It could be that you are feeling depressed about something else in your life and you are trying to rationalise things.

Of course I might be wrong, but you need to think seriously before you decide to embark on any course of action.

Just a thought.

RF