lawyers/cps ????

[sammy64]

Hi All, Ive just been told that the lawyers/cps are not charging him with RAPE..not enough evidence to prove it.!!!! BUT....they are offering me compensation !!!!!!!!????????..What does that mean? ??? We know he raped you and have been/going through HELL, but, it will take up too much of our time, so take this money instead and shut up.!!!!!! Apparently this is goverment funded..has to be done!!!??? WHY don't they spend the money on rape crisis centres and victim support instead?????? so that WE can get help when WE need it.??? I think its disgusting and feel even more abused..I am so angry...I was told I cant even take civil action because it would cost too much !!!!! So SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT.....!!!!!!!!???????

[Saffron]

Hi Sammy

I'm sorry to hear that charges are not being brought, especially as you suffered clear injuries in the attack. I am also astonished that you have been offered compensation. It adds insult to injury. I agree that compensation should be given in the form of proper, professional support; counselling and rape crisis centres, NOT cash. First of all, it makes the survivor feel as though s/he is receiving payment for being raped. Secondly it encourages nasty little liars to make false allegations, knowing they will get paid for it.

However, if I were in your shoes I would take the money and have a holiday. As a genuine survivor you could do with a bit of rest and relaxation.

Chin up chuck xx

[sammy64]

lawyers/cps/soit officers. ITS GOT WORSE.

Thanks for reply Saffron. It is an insult to offer compensation, why not spend on rape crisis centres, so we can get some help and understanding when we need it so badly. waiting for any results/tests/cps etc., are unbearable, telling you they are not being charged is undesribable, offering compensation is worse......But TODAY as I was going into class a sapphire team worker called me to say, just to let you know, that they (????) are looking at it again and I will have to wait another 2 weeks before I hear about it !!!!!????? How can they???? My SOIT officer is not available, so i havent a clue whats going on now....I cant breath, I cant beleive it...I am having palpitations, and as usual have no one to turn/talk too...I just dont know what to do, I want to die..The trauma of Rape, and everything that we have to go through is not easy as you know. Being told he not being charged is bad enough, and not a nice feeling, but at least you can think about it, and try to go forward, as big a kick in the teeth it is..Surely this is not right !!! I just dont know what or where to go now....Its been really painful, but this is mental torture isnt it? How can they say he not being charged, and then call and say things have changed without any explanation???? Im so upset/hurt/messed up. .The way im being treated cant be right surely??? I dont want compensation, I want to be able to talk to someone......But I cant.....I dont want to go on holiday, I want to be able to talk to someone....but their is no one...Is their a lawyer/solicitor who deals with rape issuses only, so I can get some sort of advice?. This treatment is not human, I just dont know what to do anymore.

[sammy64]

Help

I just wanted to kill myself many times in the last few months,but this has ruined me. I didnt ask for compensation, soit officer said something she has to do because its what the goverment says.!!!! Its the LAW....I said WHY dont they give it to rape crisis centres???? I never once thought about compensation, what does it mean?? WHY say no charges being bought, then offer me compensation??? Im flabberghasted....I thought, are they saying well we know he is guilty but we cant prove it, so take some money instead and shut up...cos i said i would think about taking a civil matter out against him, but she said it costs too much money !!!!!! How Dare they......

[RFLH]

Sammy calm down love, I don't know where you are, but look up and see if the local Mental Health Unit have a Crisis Team and talk to them. I used them before Christmas and they're great, you should be referred to them but if you can find a number they'll talk to you.

I felt similar to you recently, but its so not worth doing anything like that - if you do he's got away with it again. He'll never face justice, you're needed.

We need you here. Are you listening? WE CARE ABOUT YOU.

[sammy64]

I cant breath.

I thought I was being really strong,on the outside only, really, trying to carry on, go forward, even before they told me results. I knew I was going to have to handle things and this situation for the rest of my life, but I thought I am not going to let him beat me...I will be strong...Im nothing now. with no one and nothing....I cant breath, im trying to control it but it keeps coming back in bigger waves....Ive been raped over and over and over again, i cant fight anymore..Mental health ?? for help, Im mad ....they would most probably lock me up...

[RFLH]

You're ill, not mad. I'm under care and its working for me.

I didn't think I'd end up as bad as I've been, but with the right people to talk to it helps. I resisted because I thought I could handle it - when I started banging my head on the wall I realised that it was time I was brave and took the next step.

There's no shame in asking for help if you need it. Phone your doc's up and make an appointment and he'll refer you. They do understand and they will help.

[sammy64]

ill ?

But im not ill, Ive been raped, not only by him but by the whole rotten system. Ill..!!!! mental, lock me up....WHY is there no Rape crisis help??????? I think i am only having a nightmare and its all not real.....it cant be real....how can there be no rape crisis places you can speak too???? thanks for your suggestions, but having to go to a mental crisis centre!!!!!!

[RFLH]

Thanks Sammy that makes me feel really good. I'm not mental - I'm ill.

You're not coping and they will help you cope by talking to you and helping you to cope.

I can't make you go, I've offered you advice, its up to you if you take it or not.

If you don't make the effort then you will go round and round until you finally admit you've got to do something to help yourself.

[sammy64]

sorry

Hope i didnt offend you...I was doing ok even when they said he not being charged..i thought Oh my god, but was trying to think positive and see what i could do next, because it seemed that it was ended, even though i thought it was wrong. until today...when they suddenly rang me and said its being looked at again so i will have to wait another 2 weeks !!!!! WHY WHY ? how can they say 1 thing and then change it...It just knocked me for six...I dont understand !!! Its not normal...is it? Tomorrow hopefully i will be better and try to talk to my SOIT officer and find out what on earth is going on.???? Thanks once again for your help and advice, your mail has really helped me . The waves are getting smaller, I think writing about it has helped me. thanks again..

[friday]

sorry to hear he isn't being charged. you may not be able to see it now but going through the trauma of a trial and seeing him walk free would have been worse.

as for the compensation, yes there should be more funding for rape crisis centres etc but if you were a victim of a drink driver you could sue and get compensation, if you were a victim of a violent attack you could get compensation from cica so it is not like you are being "paid" for the sex he forced upon you just as you wouldnt be getting paid to get beaten up (unless you are a boxer).

you are ill and he is to blame but that doesnt mean you shouldnt access support from mental health services. most injuries that require treatment are a result of something else (broken hip from slipping on ice, burn from hot water etc) and your mental injuries are a result of what that scumbag did. you would treat any other injury so why not your mind?

don't quote me but i am pretty sure you are covered by witness protection for one year meaning he cannot go near you, contact you etc. the man who did it to me was found not guilty and i was told he cannot go anywhere near me or contact me for one year.

i'd recommend some girly trashy films and ice cream to try keep your mind off the horrible thoughts. pamper yourself, you most certainly deserve it after everything you have been through.

[sammy64]

lost the plot yesterday...sorry.

I was told last week that he would not be charged lack of evidence, So I thought what do I do now, because Im not leaving it, but as it was decided by cps I thought i would take my time and see what else I could do about it...he had to report to his bail tuesday to be told he was not being charged...As i was going into college Monday I had a call from D I from sapphire team saying that another lawyer CPS are looking at it and i will know in 2 weeks. I asked why and he said lawyers just wanted to look again...As I was walking into class I couldnt talk to him in detail, but thought I will ring him when i finished class. I couldnt get through to him, my SOIT officer or anyone, ( Ileft many messages) no-body got back to me..I just wanted to know why after being told he would be told on tuesday when he had to go back about his bail. I lost the plot badly, it hit me so hard, I didnt know what was going on, and no one could tell me. My head just went I had no control, panic attacks couldnty breath...it was so frightening, I have had a panic attack before when i had cancer of the bowel and was in soo much pain, I was in a NHS hospital who were for some reason getting in a gynologist !!! I didnt have a womb or anything,,,they wouldnt listen to me about my cancerof the bowel, And I knew i was ill, I had an abcess on my bowel which burst, luckily it came down the poison through my vagina, I had private health care and it took hours for papers to be signed etc...I knew i was dying and they didnt have a clue , I had a bad panic attack, was told to shut up, I managed to get to private hospital who took me straight to surgery for 11 hours, and saved my life..even though i was in intensive care with a tracky 20% if I lived or not for 3 weeks...I was having panic attacks so severe my gp said i should call an ambulance and go to hospital...or get brown paper bag and 2 paracetamols...went to college in the morning (it was hard) had left various messages for over 24 hours to explain WHY i have to wait 2 more weeks , what for,when id already been told not enough eveidence so he wont be chartged..end of case. It just zapped me, I finally got a reply from my SOIT officer who said she didnt know why, because she only got an email about it,,,and the D I was off till Thursday...as the conversation went on and she couldnt tell me why...she said, Well the man who was charged was released of bail at ten oclock in the morning and told not being charged...WHY wasnt I told ? why didnt someone have the decency to let me know that he can now walk down our close and stay at a house 5 doors away...Im the victim and i can get no reason for why the officer rang me and said id have to wait 2 more weeks !!!!!??? surely when the rapist was told no charge, shouldnt someone have told me.???? I am still very shaky but need to find out what rights do i have with regards to how traumatic this made me feel, and WHY???? Is their a legal team who could advise me as to how i should handle this.. Tell me is it right that when you have been raped and gone through all the ugly process the police say you must do, all you get are phone calls saying what they like. Doesnt the Law say they should give reasons in a form of letter/document....Is this how the law works, by telephone. which they can say what they like then change it, cos its only by phone...does anyone know legal rights and the law???