Done it....

[sammy64]

Hi,Isi, Friday, Saffron, Jenny, and all the other people who helped me through this situation (AARRRRGGGG). Id just like to thank you and let you all know I did video statement today. and it was hard, but Im so glad I did and that its over with and not as bad as I imagined...My SOIT officer and college were magic. Haven very good...PHWOAR....Thanks x

[friday]

well done! its by no means easy to relive it by saying it out loud but it can feel like a release too.
hope your ok and glad to hear police etc were so good.
x

[Saffron]

Well done Sammy. It can't have been easy, but I hope you can relax a little now. Glad to hear that the police and Haven were sympathetic.
Well done!

[sammy64]

here again...

It just don't stop, does it ? you think things are getting better - then - BANG....Its all happening again....I can't stand it....sorry but needed to say something...

[friday]

i find it seems to come in waves. some weeks the effects are minimal and then the next it seems everything in the worldd is trying to remind me of it.
hold on to how strong you have been in not just survivng the ordeal but reporting it.

[Saffron]

Absolutely agree with Friday. Sometimes days and weeks will pass and you will feel "normal". Then it hits you again. It's just the nature of your ordeal. Take a look back though, and see how far you have come!

[sammy64]

hello.

Only a month ago yesterday...RAPE started....It don't stop. does it? Someone on this site(thankyou) advised me to call Whitechapel Haven, OOOHHH they were brilliant...no wonder they up for an award. wish I had rang earllier. Ive been upset cos my SOIT officer has not been in touch with me, but spoke to my daughter and friend, made them do their statements (again and sign them...(Did'nt tell me). and said to my daughter (sunday) 1(one) thing about DNA that your mother knows about !!!!!????? is wrong !!!????? She said video was brilliant...I've tried to call her(5 times) left messages. to find out what on earth she is saying.left messages since Monday, no reply or anything.. I am fed up with it all now, she supposed to be coming with me to Havens tomorrow..I don't trust or like her anymore, even though she is polite, she has left me too it..not even rang me!!!!!! makes you realise just how hard it is to report RAPE and carry on with it and all that comes with it , after now and forever..... I am so angry and thought i was ok.....SUPPORT??????? only this site and i thank you x Tried WAR but didnt understand it, (could have been my mind) thanks you lot xx

[sammy64]

Strong...

It's not easy.....

[friday]

its not easy but it reporting is worth it if only so you know you have done everything in your power to put him away and prevent him doing it again.
sorry to hear WAR were no help. they tend to do more campaigning than anything else.
it will get easier but it takes time.
x

[italian 1]

rape

hi there my boyfreinds been accused of rape he had bail did the dvd photo fit and now its a waiting game he has mood swings one day up another day down but i have doubts as to if hes relling me everything he wont tell me any facts just says hes not guilty, hes such a flirt and even though when i was interviewed by police they say he did have sex with her he said not a thing happend, this all came about cause he invited a few people back to his flat after a club im so angry and upset over it all ps does anyone know if hes out on bail what happens if she identifys him when she views the pics at police station

[sammy64]

soit officer...

Just come from Haven follow up....useless....cant give me any forensic results cos soit officer got them.!!??? Been trying to get in touch with SOIT officer since Monday..she only replied this morning..I am so angry....WHY cant I have my results???? Why did SOIT officer tell my daughter on sundaythere is a discrepancy in DNA information...WHY didnt she tell me? I have been trying to get in touch with her since then to find out what on earth she talking about, but not heard from her till this morning..I was so angry i told her i didnt want her with me to The Haven cos I dont think she is or has supported me....Its like ive done something wrong....how much more do I have to go through?????

[friday]

sammy-sorry to hear your soit officer is being less helpful than you would like. i can't possibly guess what a discrepency in dna is but hopefully you will know soon. you havent done anything wrong, don't ever feel like you have, its just a complicated crime to deal with and the police are probably understaffed and over worked.
x

italian 1-i don't know what will happen if she picks him out. it depends on the other evidence. if he has said they didn't have sex and there is dna then he will most certainly be charged but this would beg the question of how his dna was inside her... if he has said to police they did have sex but it was consensual then it is a case of trying to prove she didn't consent so looking at injuries, other witnesses etc. if there is no evidence to suggest they had sex (no dna, no injuries, she can't point out any distinctive marks on parts that would normally be covered, no witnesses saying they did etc) then you would guess that would be the end of it. but you just don't know, its a lottery.