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terrified of what might happen to my sister

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  • terrified of what might happen to my sister

    my little sister is 12 and has recently started going out with friends during the day unsupervised. of course this isn't unusual. i used to do the same at her age, in fact even younger.

    she recently went shopping to camden town with her friends and found herself in a shop which shall be known as "the scary punk shop". she told me that the owner had been reluctant to let them leave (as most shop owners are) but i know that this particular shop owner is likely to have other motives since it was this shop owner who wanted me to swap a top for sex, touched me inappropriately, asked me to "model" for him and work in his shop. i have since learnt he gets his "girls", as he refers to them, on heroin so they can not leave but i do not know much else about him.

    i told my sister she is no longer allowed in that shop and to tell her friends not to go in either but this brings up a much larger issue. how can i protect her from things like this. she is so young mentally. and another scary thing is that when i was telling my sister to stay away from that shop because that man is not a nice man my little brother (age 11) said, "why? is he a rapist?"
    how the hell can an 11 year old come out with something like that.
    Last edited by friday; 10 September 2009, 02:51 PM.
    "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

  • #2
    Friday, they hear about things like that everywhere.

    Please, please go to the police about this - who knows how many others he's trapped this way? I know it its a scary thing but it has to be done. It's the only way she can be protected - I daresay no-one will have said anything because they're too scared and that's how people get away with that sort of thing.

    Just make sure that your sister knows you're not cross at her, she's done nothing wrong.
    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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    • #3
      i tried to report it the day after it happened (20.01.06, i kept a diary at the time) but they didn't even take a statement. i don't think he did anything to my sister cos she was with her friends but my fear is if her or her friends went in alone it could be a very different story.

      if i was to attempt to report it again i don't know what to say. the fact he has gets people on drugs is nothing more than rumour in the eyes of the law. and if they are over 16 then they can work in the shop. in that respect he has done nothing wrong.

      she knows i'm not mad at her, just protective. it would rip me to shreds if anything happened to her.
      "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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      • #4
        Do you know of any other children he's tried to do this to? If so, if their parents were to go and report him then surely they'd have to do something.

        Their answer to you is just not acceptable - they're not doing their job properly.

        Perhaps if you ask for someone higher than the civilian worker on the desk you may do better.
        And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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        • #5
          i could go in and ask to speak to the pc or dc who was in my case although i don't know if i'm allowed to do that? its in the same area so they would cover it.
          i don't know of any other children he has tried to do this too (i'm not exactly sure if he even tried to do anything to my sister or her friends) but obviously the goth/alternative scene is small, so news travels. he is notorious for being a disgusting creep but whether or not he has done things to other people i do not know.
          if i was to ring the soit officer in my case would she be able to tell me what to do? it was so long ago, and a minor offence given i was over 16 (just) and it was over my t-shirt. it was more the things he said, though of course he termed things in ways which could have other meanings (e.g. i'll be nice to you if you'll be nice to me, if you know what i mean")
          i don't know. it would never get anywhere. no evidence (he sent people out the shop). would i just be dragging stuff up for no reason?
          "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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          • #6
            Phone your solicitor up - she's in the best position to advise you.

            It may well be that it'll still go on until he's stopped.
            And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

            Comment


            • #7
              don't have a solicitor as it was cps who prosecution not me.
              "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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              • #8
                A lot of solicitors give a free half hour consultation, but I would try reporting your concerns to the police again. If they don't want to know, then try a solicitor.

                Besides this, how are you keeping these days? Got everything sorted for the new term?
                And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                Comment


                • #9
                  having trouble with student loans. i sent all the stuff but they havent processed it. they also have my passport and its my birthday in less than a week so would like to be able to have a drink! doesnt make any difference that i'm 20 next week, supposedly i look young. this seems ironic since i never had any problems buying alky and fags at 15! karma perhaps?
                  "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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                  • #10
                    Know that feeling. Our lass went to Tescos to buy her gran a box of Baileys Truffles and because she had no ID they wouldn't let her buy them - or us as we were with her - and she's 22!

                    I've heard that student loans are a nightmare to get sorted, so I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.
                    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey Friday, I totally understand why you feel scared for your sister. I think you should definately report your concerns to the police about this man. I know there is no hard evidence but at least they are being made aware of him.

                      Hope you are ok and managing to get things sorted ready for uni? when do you start?
                      Life is full of options is just choosing the right one thats hard....

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                      • #12
                        rflh-you only have to be 16 to buy choc with alky in! i'm having to go to sainsburys further away just because the staff know me and will sell me fags. they now have a "think 25" policy which is insane when you only have to be 18. it getting silly. they werent going to let me in to a club ive been going to for nearly 2 years (even used to get in free cos i worked in a pub round the corner) and even asked my boyfriend (who is 36) if he had ID! he was well pleased.

                        isi-enrollment is on 22nd and lectures start about 28th. don't know exact dates and havent got reading list cos of postal strike.

                        now i must go make that vegan strawberry shortcake i have been planning to do all day.
                        "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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                        • #13
                          Tescos policy is the dozy 25 one - by that age I'd had 3 children and been divorced. I would have been livid if it had happened to me back then.

                          Sadly I look my age these days, plus a few more!
                          And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                          • #14
                            Try the Child Protection Unit of the local police station/force. I think that they are better placed to help.
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                            • #15
                              That's a very good suggestion by RF. I don't blame you for being worried about your sis - I would be frantic! And I agree with Isi - even if there is no hard evidence, the police will still have to log the complaint, which means that if (and please god it wont) something happens to a young girl in the future, there is the record of your complaint on his file. He is a predator, plain and simple.

                              And as for being asked for ID....when I was 32 a girl I worked with thought I was 19...but two years ago a young (and very stupid, in my opinion) man guessed my age at 45...wildly unflattering, seeing as at that time I was only 35!!!!

                              Hopefully your sister will listen to you and not return to "scary punk shop" alone. Sending you cyber hugs, if that's ok.

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