my husband investigation is closed/dropped/whatever its called

[depressedwife49]

hi

just an update to say investigation against my husband is now over thankfully

[RFLH]

That's wonderful news!

Thank you for letting us know, it provides a boost for those that are going through the same trauma.

[depressedwife49]

yes i wrote a long venting post then got anxious and deleted it due to still feeling scared about privacy but will come back later and try and be rational as im still in emotional turmoil over it all but yr dead right i can think of things i think would be helpful to people so i need to think how to write it all down and still keep it private if that makes sense

[RFLH]

It does indeed make sense!

Try and take a few steps back for the time being - I'm sure that you're still like a coiled spring. Go out and enjoy yourselves, you deserve it.

[frankgallagherwasere]

Great news and good to know the "investigation" resulted in digging out the truth, albeit it probably took them significantly longer than it really should. The problem is others cant really use your example and experience against their own investigations to find fault in their cases - just too many inconsistancies in the system as it stands.

I know this post is in the wrong section/thread so will be carefull, but there needs to be criminal action taken against anyone who claims rape/assault when the Police can prove its fabricated and a lie - they need to be punished for the trauma they put families and individuals through. After all isnt their a financial incentive at the end and personal injury against their accused and their family as a whole.

[depressedwife49]

taking into account the fact everybodys case is different i still want to write down things which i found helpful ( sorry in advance if i repeat what other people may have said over the years)

i can only say it from the point of view of being a partner of somebody accused. Never for one minute did i think my husband had committed the offence, this wasnt because i was deluded or stupid , but based upon knowing the kind of person he is , ive been married to him a long time and he doesnt have a bad bone in his body, of all the people in the world to be accused of this kind of crime it seemed so unfair, he has without question been the most fantastic husband and father and i didnt even need to ask him did you do it, i KNEW in my bones he was incapable of any crime not just this alleged offence, i passionately believed in his innocence from day one.

im taking pains to tell everyone how strongly i feel about this because if this ever happens to your husband son brother etc and you feel the same way the most important thing is to TELL them over and over and over every day and fight with everything you have got for their freedom . the mental health of your partner could be the difference between life or death regardless of whether they get charged/imprisoned i dread to think how many men have committed suicide over the years because of the allegations, if the only thing you can do is tell them you believe they are innocent then tell them every opportunity you get

even though ive had serious and i mean serious health problems the last few months i have spent every single waking minute doing research and gathering facts on his case in case he got charged , i have wracked my brains thinking of ways to help and making plans should the worse come to the worse, this helped me tremendously to feel useful at a time when we were supposedly powerless

i also complained loud and hard to anybody who would listen and became as pro active as i could without endengering his anonymity that included arranging meetings/emailing/phoning/internet research/ the library/citizens advice and contacting the police, my childrens schools, solicitors, social services, doctors, my family, my friends, the samaritans, i have no idea if any of this helped, but it helped me

finally i got my MP on my side on several counts ( which were only relevant to our particular case ) and he immediately took it up with the head of the police, within days the whole thing was dropped against my husband and i am Convinced the MP intervention helped although again i will never know for sure

all i can say , without being particular , is dont give up, dont give in ,fight with everything youve got even if it all seems pointless, overwhelming or hopeless and good luck to everybody in this situation , i am personally staying on this forum to educate myself on this matter and for emotional support as i dont feel like its over , even though it is

ive also got thoughts on areas of the law which need to be tightened up for everybody involved but will post again in a few days when ive gathered my thoughts

[frankgallagherwasere]

Many many thanks depressedwife49 for your thoughts for others, the purpose of the forums is supposed to be to help support and provide assistance too often the approach is moral and not strategical and structured. If we are to try and understand and find justice in such an unjust system we have to learn from the experiences of others and for your input I and many others would and will be internally thankful.

I think its fair to say we all suffer from believing what were told, often its BAD advice but it suits the system if we were all to keep quiet and did as we were told. I agree shouting out loud is the only way currently until we can better forumate a water tight defence mechanism - too often the defence is not as supportive as one would like or imagine.

Until now the falsely accused have been poorly represented and their needs misunderstood and even ignored, I hope with your experience and that of others we all start to see some more positive results !!

The only answer is to fight fight and continue to fight until such time one gets the answers and outcome they deserve and desire !! (in no particular order). The system doesnt give a seconds thought and consideration on how good someone is it can actually be used against you. the fact is the system has only one objective - thats to convict the accused at any cost !!

I would disagree only on one of your points - all cases are not unique as the Police/CPS/Crown follow (supposerd to atleast) a set procedure written down as on CPS.gov.org, therefore everycase has a formal process it should follow. Only the specific case details are therefore different. Often where we all get cheated and swindled is their abuse of this which leads to specific case details being manipulated and fabricated. If the system upheld and followed their own procedures there wouldnt be the inconsistancies and injustice we all currently suffer due to their lack of professionalism or damn right corruptness. Too often its the wrong side being branded criminals and the Crown are the ones who should be on trial not the accused

I hope you consider suing your husbands accuser for damages and slander !!

[RFLH]

thank you very much for posting your account, it does help others reading the forum to see that someone has proved their innocence and how it was done. Hopefully others will follow your example.

Good reply Frank.

[frankgallagherwasere]

Many thanks RFLH really Im not the devil you all think I am, Im not against anyone only the FALSE ACCUSERS, all I want is to help people and give some hope - even to me !! I have to stop being so aggressive and focus my frustrations in a more productive channel. This I am trying to do by helping others adobt my theories to help them plan their defence better - and hopefully this will benefit others.

I only wish we could open the debates up a little more and focus our community on the true issues and not just be a shoulder to cry on - Ive done enough of that already and its not nice !!

Stand strong and dont let the system defeat us and win !!

Sorry this post is a little off topic BUT I do honestly believe its important I say it cos I want to minimise the frictions between us all Im on OUR (your) side not theirs !!

[RFLH]

[Saffron]

Thank you SO much DepressedWife, for posting the positive outcome of your and your husband's ordeal. Often we hear from people who have been accused but we never hear the outcome. Your story will provide hope and guidance to many, so many many thanks for posting it.

This is fantastic news, and hats off to you for never giving up the fight. You now face a challenging path of healing for yourself and your husband, but if you have come this far you will be able to take this in your stride.

I am very very glad that you have decided to stay with our forum - we need more people like you! Thank you in advance.

I am personally so happy that you had the correct outcome, and I wish you and your very fortunate husband every happiness for the future.

Saffron

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Depressed wife.

You might find that as time goes on you still might get down and depressed. That is a good time to come back here to get support.

[friday]

thats brilliant news! always nice to hear when the system works rather than always hearing its failures.