my experience

[movingforward]

I was raped in February of this year, it was by somebody that i had never met before. He followed me out of a night club and seeing that i was drunk used this situation to his advantage. I made the choice to report this to the police, who were so supportive and explained what was happening and the process. They found his DNA on me and they did track him down and found my bag and everything in it that he had taken also that night. I suppose in some ways i have been lucky as it went to court and he was found guilty, five years and he has to go on the sex offenders register for life. The length of sentence though doesn't really matter to me a much they he was found guilty. I have had great support from family, friends, work and the police. But now the court case is all over i am at a loss as to how i start getting my life back and feeling like me again. This is why i have taken the step to share my experience so that i can find out how other people have lived their lives afterwards and also offer support to anybody thinking of going to the police or already going throught the court experience.

[friday]

glad to hear he got sent down. i hope that gives you some hope that there is some justice in the world. you were really lucky the trial was so soon, often its a year or more. its great to hear the police were supportive, i think they have come along way in terms of providing more emotional support.
have you had/considered counselling? perhaps that could help you? i think the thing that has helped me most is time, as well as meeting a man who really looked after me and respected me. knowing that there is just one man out there who is unlike the others who hurt me makes the world a lot more bearable. i also have tried (with limited success) to make positive associations with things i associate with what happened (e.g. after court i made a vegan pizza with my boyfriend because i refused to let the fact he worked in a pizza restraunt stop me eating something i enjoyed).

i hope things start to become easier for you and that you find the support you need here.

[isi]

Hi, I am sorry that you have had to find your way here and that you had to go through the experience of rape. I am glad that you got the justice you deserve and that another rapist is now off the streets, if only this could happen more often.

My ex partner raped me on a few occasions and is now serving a prison sentence. It was really difficult going through the police and the courts and I mentally broke down. I think also because it resurfaced alot of things that I had endured in the past which I am dealing with now. It was a really difficult and emotional time.

I think not being too hard on yourself about getting back to normal and to accept that it wont just happen over night may help. Letting people around you know how you are feeling and what you think could help you may be a good starting point. You have just had a really busy, anxiety inducing time. You may also still be in shock as your case came forward really quickly after in happened.

Knowing that you are not at fault and accepting what happened can help you move forward. You sound like a positive person so hopefully this will help you in your journey of recovery and hope that posting here can be a positive part of it

Isi

[Saffron]

Hello and welcome

Isi and friday are right, you wont "get back to normal" overnight. But forums like this can go a long way to helping you recover...offering support to others is very therapeutic. You have been through the system, so you (along with Isi and Friday) are in a unique position to help others who are encountering it for the first time.

Many think that seeing justice being served is the end of the story, but it isn't. Long term counselling can really help.

Best

Saffron

[movingforward]

thanks

To those that have already posted a reply. Work straight away sorted out counselling for me, though having to wait till after the court case for this was quite hard,but i am also aware that if hadn't been for work i could have waited some time for this. I think my main problem is that i want m life back now and i need to appreciate that it will take time and to allow myself to deal with what has happened. I did all happen so quickly and in some ways it still doesn't feel real. I never expected the police to find DNA on me, i had bathed and showered a few times, i never expected them to then find him and during the court case i was so convinced he would be found not guilty. It is comforting to know that with time and a positive outlook that it is possible to move on and not always be the victim

[isi]

It is possible and it can take varying lengths of time for different people to shed the victim. No two experiences are the same. As I put before you sound like a positive person and it sound slike you have a good support network. I m glad that you have been offered councelling and hope it helps.

I have had councelling for months and it helped alot. I had previously seen a psychologist. I am now seeing a psychologist and waiting for CBT to start with local mental health sevice.

All I can say is take all the help you can get because you deserve it. And having to deal with feeling is like having to deal with any other llness. you have a cold you buy paracetamol. You feel traumatised you see a councellor. Sorry to ramble I just hate the stigma that mental health carries with it.

[Saffron]

Isi, it's not rambling, it's sense!

Movingforward, you may find it helps to not think of yourself as a "victim" but as a Survivor. The very word Victim has many negative connotations, whereas Survivor is entirely positive. It happened, it was damaging, but you got through it. All of us here are Survivors of something. Like butterflies, we emerge strong and beautiful!

S x

[frankgallagherwasere]

oops looks like one cant delete posts and so read below

[frankgallagherwasere]

I hope he got 5 yrs and IPP else something smells seriously bad !! Inside the guys know IPP means its physical and not just consentual or questionable as IPP means FORCE and often with someone they didnt know and public (not in their own home or their accusers). If its not ask your council why not !!

Rebuild your life means finding confidence in your ownself and your own body - its yours and no-one elses. If you choose to share it, its on your terms and on your instructions simple as that. Love you for who you are not what you are to some, which in some guys eyes is a female sexual object.