coping with relationships/sex after rape

[frankgallagherwasere]

It's also a cloud on any relationship if one party doesn't pull their weight

You mean the man, BUT we have a reputation to uphold, just wouldnt be right if we gave up our lazy boneidleness lifestyle without some sort of fight or struggle??

Be wary also of people that obsess on things - drink, drugs, train spotting, forums or cars. You'll always come second

Drink - That can apply to both workers and none workers
Drugs - goes without saying
Train spotting - whats wrong with this, I would have thought BIRD watching would be far more questionable !!!!! hehe
Forums - Yeah I know this one all too well and could apply to computers and especially the internet in general
Cars - glad u said that cos of course some of us cant insure them so its not applicable and you didnt say bikes so Im exempt !!

Im trying to sell all my cars now, 2 x Porsche 924 Turbo and a 928 1980 manual very rare, whats the point of keeping something Im no longer allowed to use even though I have a full clean driving license.

But then the list could be extended and be endless, smoking, friends one keeps, in laws, just for starters. But then if one does stay at home for a long period one has to ask WHY? I can understand it short term whilst they readjust but really there is no excuse long term unless one just uses their situation as an excuse - there is always something they could do !!

[RFLH]

My OH has applied for many jobs, had several interviews and now does a lot of voluntary work - so he can go out and do, rather than sit and fester at home.

He also helps me around the house and garden - we're a team and a much closer one than before.

However if he did get a job, I know that he'd still help as much as he can. I respect him for that.

I guess we took each other for granted before - but we have learned that no matter what life throws at us we can cope and get through it.

I lived a nightmare with my first husband and was glad to escape from the violence and abuse. It took me a long time to trust because you can't forgive or forget, but when you find the right person - you know.

[frankgallagherwasere]

but when you find the right person - you know

I do believe that for some, using their previous experience of playing with relations that this is VERY TRUE !! You just know its right and dare I say you DON'T ASK WHY - YOU JUST KNOW !! Yes RFLH I accept that completely and without anything else needing to be added !!

[Cassie]

I know what you're going through

I know what you're going through, I have been through pretty much the exact thing. I haven't been able to talk about it, I just keep pushing it further down and I've never been able to come to terms with it. I keep thinking it was just a bad nightmare or something.

I think you are amazingly strong to be able to talk about this. I know how hard it is to talk about it and I find this is a much better way to talk about it all. I know how you feel and how lonely and frustrated you feel. Places like this are for help though and I know we can all get through it. x