I'm Trying my Best and Keep Failing

[cw680]

keep boiling your cabbages twice and you won't.

You get answers both here and other forums - they all give you the same advice. See a doctor.

I'd try changing your friends whilst you're about it.

why should i change them for they seem ok

[cw680]

why should i change them they seem very supportive and fun people and atleast then they see me they are like Hey Chris and all that. but i'm worried it won't last thats what i'm worried about that will just go.

[frankgallagherwasere]

HI there CW680

Unfortunately for many its impossible for them to understand just what you went through and how those memories infect your mind. Being accused can be bad enough for anyone, nevermind having to suffer charges, conviction and time spent inside for some unfortunate people.

I empathise with your position and like myself dont see what any doctor can do, have spoken to many and been told its only natural !! Having been similarly been shouted down for speaking my mind resulting in my views being silenced and removed for others to share their feelings and views as I do.

Therefore to counter your critics I support you, if it help and I know it does, to shout and raise your opinions - go for it. After all isnt that th purpose of these boards to help everyone going through hard and difficult times?

[downtrodden]

OK, I have read through all your posts and think that you want to hear that the way you feel is natural. It is, but it doesn't detract from the fact that you Need to try and find some way out of the destructive loop you are in.

What you are feeling is a bit of paranoia. You Want to trust people, but have the worry that if you do, it will all end badly again. It does wear off eventually, but only if YOU make that happen. I get the feeling that you Can't really open up to your friends about everything, understandably - to quote (probably out of context) 'you have to walk a mile in my shoes to understand how I feel'. Asking for advice from a group of strangers is easier than talking to people close to you.

Going to seek medical assistance may again be difficult in your mind as the first question the receptionist will ask is what is wrong with you. Tell him/her quite calmly that it is something you only want to discuss with your doctor. Admitting that the whole thing has affected you is the First step to rebuilding your shattered self esteem.

One thing which kept me going and Made me rebuild my life was the fact that as long as I felt as you do, THE ACCUSER HAD WON. I refused to let that happen and pulled myself round. No, it is not easy, there is no simple answer. Every individual needs a different coping mechanism, for some, a period of counselling or drug therapy works; for others just being able to go out to work everyday, to go to the pub etc slowly rebuilds the psyche.

Good luck finding your own way of coping, but do please remember that not everyone is the same and not all people make false accusations.

Stay strong, and find your self belief again, then you can start to heal.

[frankgallagherwasere]

There is also another serious point here, it is only when someone is accused that their eyes are opened to the dangers of the Laws and how some are openly and willing to abuse them for their own benefit and that those responsible for the investigation are anything but fair and unbiased in many instances.

How can one life a normal life ever again knowing it only takes someones word to have you charged and convicted of something that never happened or even something that is totally against your morals and ethics? After all who is to know who that next accuser might be - there is no register to protect the accused only accusers !!

On here we have both sides but there is a huge middle section - the liars the cheats the fraudsters. What one should remember is that their next target might be you or a family member or friend, one can support an honest case BUT there are many many false claims and this is whats dangerous, this is the main problem everyone faces - not the real criminals and the real victims.

Could you live with yourself if your partner is locked away for 10 years by someone whom you know has lied about something and the injured party is also you not just the convicted.

What everyone should be aware of is the law looks at all cases the same, everyone accused is guilty and that in many cases it only takes the accusation to get someone convicted no evidence other than a string of appropriately worded sentences and absolutely NO physical evidence as there isnt and wasnt any !! There couldnt be any as nothing happened only the accusers exaggerated and damning lies.

As I said it is only when one has been accused that they realise the dangers of the situation repeating itself and having been accused once next time the law might not give them the benefit and go all out to win, and I assure you all if they want they WILL WIN.