I'm Trying my Best and Keep Failing

[cw680]

It has been one year since my court case came to an close and i was cleared within 30 minutes. But I fell that came with an price. the price was having my life ruined for life.

I Have been trying i now have an job, but i fell no one wants me as an friend as i'm messed up. At the end of the day i'm very hurt inside as in 2006 i was an top popular person today i fell like an i'm an no one and just some number to the police and CPS.

Theres one guy i met at work, my age really great guy but I fell his only taking me out to an few bars and nightclubs as he fells sorry for me. I don't know if he wants to be pals with me or not. All of his mates are ok with me some seem happy to see me like hows u doing and sometime they give me a hug as an greeting depends. I think they know about the case as he may of told him an little about it i'm not 100% sure. But as i lost all my confidance when this happened i fell i never going to fix my life.

Problem is i only see them drinking i never do any causal things with them like football, etc. althrough its ok as it gets me out and talking but i'm not 100% sure if they just fell sorry for me as what i been through or if there doing this as they are pals.

as in 2006 i was an very althelic chatty outgoing teen, today its turned me to an depressed, quite, shy person. Althrough i did not do this and was cleared i fell the police and cps won as they ****ed up my life. its like they have given me an pusihment for this and i did not do it.

sometimes i just wanna give up trying and just surive life instead of living life.

i dont want any couselling as it does not help, nothing is going to help

i don't know what 2 do as at the end of the day i'm still suffering over this

[kskc]

congratulations on getting cleared. really sorry to know after what has happened you are still suffering. i wish i could say something to make you feel better but my husband is currently in custody and things are not looking good for us.

i have given up hope.

have you no friends or family that have stood by u?

this site has helped me alot and chatting to people here has been a big comfort.

sorry i can't give any more positive advice.

feel better soon.

[cw680]

All my old pals disowned me, a lot of my family did aswell, only an few stuck by me.

but i just want sum new pals to enjoy life but its hard as i can't find anyone. i know an few guys but i just think they only me to tag along as they fell sorry for me we get on but only see eachother at the pub and clubs not like casual stuff

[kskc]

i think it will take time for things to get back to normal and for people to forget what happened.
people have told me if they were real friends they would know you and stood by you no matter what.

why didn't your family stand by you? you need them the most. friends come and go by family is your blood.

it's nice these guys invite you out for drinks etc maybe in time they will see you more often.

[cw680]

we all went up an nightclub saturday, they were all like Hey hows u, they all praised me up as for the 1st time in ages i gained confidance to chat up an bird. they said i was very conifdent that night and that.

so it looks good

[Rights Fighter]

cw680 is it possible that whenever you are in the company of friends - all you can talk about is "the case" and how it's affected you?

If you do then it is possible that is why they will go out with you on the odd social occasion and not on a regular "casual" outings. Friends will allow somebody to wallow for a while but if it affects the group on a night out then they are not going to want to repeat the experience too often.

It is good that you went out and had a good night. Stick to boosting your ego without trying to "pull" as you don't seem ready for a relationship at the moment.

I know you said you don't want to have counselling as you think it won't work but have you actually tried it? Given the right counsellor/therapist it could make a whole world of difference.

You need to find a way to move on - I hope you find it soon.

[cw680]

only one of them knows and all the others don't know. The group don't mind me as they joke about and most seem happy to see me. they always look out for me like asking if i got home safely etc. i tend to keep the case very quite when i'm in the group.

i just hoping this is not like that as if it is it just break me as then i back to sqaure1. i don't think it affects the group as they seem happy i'm there and most of the night i was off on my own and only came back an few times,

i think they don't mind me as already have an nickname for me. nickname according to them means Top person.

theres one guy whos always been there 4 me. i want to say to him is like an brother to me but don't know how to say it to him

[cw680]

he said ah cheers pal and said

steady on with the bro it dough lol

what does that mean (steady on with the bro it dough)

[Saffron]

It can be very difficult and take a long time to recover from something like this. Try to take things one step at a time - don't rush in to full-on nights out. Start by playing a bit of footie or cricket with your mates, and slowly build up to a night out.
You may have only told one person, but are you certain that the person you confided in has not told anyone else? I know that after R came out of prison the people who knew what had happened were unsure of how to talk to him.

Maybe the friend you told is a little uncomfortable at how much you have come to rely on him. It might be best to take a step back from him for a while, and make sure he knows that, while you appreciate his friendship and all that he has done, he is not your only friend. Just a thought.

I am very glad that you were cleared, but I totally understand that, for the genuinely falsely accused, this is not something that you recover from overnight. It can take a lifetime. Try to take comfort from the fact that you are not alone.
Wishing you all the best

Saffron

[cw680]

i think he kept it quite. as in feb this year i collpased as i was crying, felt i had no one there for me, felt friendless, just felt like i was not there and some object. he supported me an bit i think he knows how bad this has effected me so his been there for me.

I know an few weeks back i got them an gift as his been such an great support (signed football shirt from his team) he was well happy and he wanted to give me something i declined and said you already given me an gift and thats friendship.

I think in the summer we be doing more casual things as they all go uni, college they have corse work, full time jobs etc. when the summer comes we be going to thrope park, having an few games of footie, watching football. they all nice guys only starting to get to know them and they seem like we be good friends in the future as well its the bound you fell but as i have started to talk to them in small talk only know them by name and little detail.

they did help me the other night by supporting me. but if it was not for them i would not of chatted up an few girls and got to know the boys more. so it sounds all good. but i have this thing in my head saying "it will end badly like in 2006" i keep having theses fellings that the same or worse thing will happen and i lose them and be back to sqaure one.

[Rights Fighter]

Two words - "Get help".

Wallowing and going over stuff is no good for you whatsoever. You need counselling and a course of anti-depressants. They don't all send you to sleep and you can still function perfectly well.

[cw680]

what do u mean by wallowing and going overstuff.

[RFLH]

read back your posts - they all say the same thing. Your posting on other sites say the same things too.

[cw680]

at the end of the day i'm just, lost & confused anout whats happening. i fell i'm moving no where and that my life is frozen. i don't know to be honest i fell i'm never going to recover

[RFLH]

keep boiling your cabbages twice and you won't.

You get answers both here and other forums - they all give you the same advice. See a doctor.

I'd try changing your friends whilst you're about it.