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**Rights Fighter** · 1 March 2009, 08:04 PM

Adam

No legal advice can be given as UK law will be different to that in Brazil.

In the UK polygraph tests are not allowed (although conversely they are not being used in parole applications!!!

It sounds very much as though this very young girl could have been TOLD by her mother that you have done whatever it is she says you have done.

She should be seen by a child psychologist without the mother being present if that can be done.

I suggest you research "parental alienation" on the internet.

**Saffron** · 3 March 2009, 10:50 AM

Hi Adam
this is a complete nightmare for you.
All I can suggest is that you get yourself a lawyer that specialises in sexual crimes. A standard criminal lawyer will not do.
Write down everything you can remember about the times these things are supposed to have happened. It is possible that your daughter was being abused, but by someone else. I agree with RF that you should get an independent pyschologist's report, preferably without the mother being present.
Try to keep busy so that you do not drive yourself mad with this. Go for a walk, clean the house from top to bottom, anything. Finally, confide in someone you trust to help you through this.
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

**Rights Fighter** · 3 March 2009, 11:15 AM

I've just noticed a typo error of mine!

In the UK polygraph tests are not allowed (although conversely they are not being used in parole applications!!!

This should of course read:

"In the UK polygraph tests are not allowed (although conversely they are being used in parole applications!!!)

Sorry about that.

**webvida** · 3 March 2009, 04:19 PM

Thank you very much for your advice.

These times are certainly set to try us!

I am lucky enough to have the support of my girlfriend in this, I do not know what I would do without her.

I got some news today, I called my ex-wife and she said that they had visited 3 different psychologists and they are all saying that it has happened. The Strange thing is that my ex-wife said that she is not going to take any further action with this and that she will not be doing a medical examination on my daughter due to the fact that she does not want to traumatise her. She stated that from now on if I want to see my kids I have to do it under her supervision... ??? !!!

This in it's self reeks of conspiracy to me and my girlfriend and I are now seeking legal advice. She is a dentist and one of her clients is a judge here in Brazil and he said that he has extensive knowledge in these type of cases. He will be suggesting a good lawyer for us.

I also plan to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist to have a session under hypnosis, I really want to be sure that I am 100% sane as well, that I haven't got some kind of sleep disorder or split personality or something. In my mind I have no memory whatsoever of doing something like this, it is absolutely abhorrent to me, but I need to be sure for my own peace of mind.

Once again thank you for your support guys, every little bit counts at this time. I will keep you up to date as news arises.

-Adam

**Saffron** · 3 March 2009, 06:22 PM

It sounds very odd that your ex-wife does not want your daughter to undergo a physical exam. I know that the legal process in Brazil is entirely different to ours here in the UK, but without that physical examination, can the case against you even proceed? I am no expert, but I would have thought that penetration by an adult would be physically apparent in a 4 year old girl.

What is your relationship like with your ex? Amicable, or strained? is there any resentment? If there is resentment/strain this could be the motive behind the accusations. Children often believe whatever adults tell them - if your daughter has been told that she has been sexually abused, there is a chance she herself believes it, because she trusts the adults who tell her this. Try googling False Memory Syndrome - although your daughter may be too young for it to be applicable to her.

So your ex-wife is not taking any further action over this? That in itself is strange. I have a daughter who will be 3 in a couple of months....if I suspected that anyone had "messed" with her, I would take it as far as I could! The same for my 9 year old son! However, the matter is probably now out of your ex-wife's hands...in the UK the allegation of child abuse is enough for an investigation. and just to throw in a wild card, it sounds as though your ex could be trying to punish you for something?

If you feel you need to see a psychiatrist, then by all means do. However, I think it would be better to see a psychologist or a counsellor - wondering whether or not you are sane could be seen as an admission of guilt, whereas a counsellor is there to help you deal with your current traumas. Sometimes seeing a psychiatrist can do more harm than good - some of them are intent on "unlocking" events that didn't even happen. There was a case recently in the UK where a girl had psychiatric assesments and went on to falsely accuse her father of raping her. (She later realised that this hadn't happened and withdrew the allegation, but not before her dad had been dragged through the court, convicted, and sent to prison.

I am concerned that you are worrying about a split personality, and that you believe you may have done these things in a Jekyll/Hyde type way. What has made you think that? In your deepest heart do you seriously think it is a possibility? If this is what you genuinely believe, then it is a possibility, and you should seek medical help immediately. However, if it is honestly your own paranoia, (The Fear, as my husband and I call it) and you believe that your daughter would not lie, then you need to look further.....to her mother, and any other males (or females, of course!) that your daughter may have come in to contact with. Is there another male figure in your daughter's life? Your ex-wife's new partner, for example? (if she has one, of course). Sometimes, if an adult man does something bad to a child, that child will shy away from all adult male contact. This could explain why your daughter was distant and didn;t want to hug you.

Take care, look after yourself. Look inside your soul. If you know, I mean really know, with all your heart that you didn't do this, then fight to protect your innocence. If there is any doubt, then seek help immediately.

Let us know how you get on.

Saffron

**webvida** · 17 November 2010, 12:37 AM

It's me again!

So much has passed since I last posted, I just came across these posts and I must apologise that I have not got back to you guys, you must understand that it has been a trying time.

I am still fighting the accusations. In regards to my sanity (I mentioned such in my posts above), I am now 100% sure that I am not in any way mentally dysfunctional.

I did extensive psychological evaluations with two separate psychologists and they both reported me perfectly normal. What's more, I moved in with my girlfriend early this year and have been living with her and her young son for 6 months or so and we live a perfectly normal and happy life together (well as a happy a life as I can live at this time). I am pretty sure that they would have noticed if I was some kind of jeckyl hide creepazoid.

So this is what happened....

A short time after I got a lawyer and then the whole process of documents back and forth began. The trouble was that at first I did not account for any foul play in all this, I was thinking my Daughter had said something that had somehow been misinterpreted by her mother in such a way as to make her think that I was being abusive or the worse thing, that I had in some way been able to do something without remembering, something completely alien to my normal ways which I now know to be impossible from what I said above.

I soon realised that things were very fishy.

There is absolutely no documentation from the "3 Psychologists" by ex-wife said examined my children, the only documentation is from one psychologist, in fact the whole case has revolved around this one psychologist.

This one psychologist, stated in an extensive description of me such things as - "complete psychopath", "pan sexual" (even to the extent of inanimate objects), violent as well as many other horrible things. I was shocked when I read it, it was extremely deflamatary, full of blatant lies, shocking.

How can a person that I have never met, never talked to once, wouldn't know if I passed on the sidewalk have the right to write such things about me, without meeting me once. All on the advice of a bitter ex-wife...

And bitter is the word, It come to light that my ex wife found out about my relationship with my girlfriend, I had tried to keep this hidden due to sensitive fact the my girlfriend lived next door to my ex-wife, they actually knew each other quite well.

In regards to my ex-wife, we had been separated for a year or so as our relationship become estranged as I wouldn't buy into her religion - over the years she had become increasingly caught up with evangelical christianity - I did try, but I just couldn't fit in with it - I had a pretty secular upbringing so belief in things like this is quite hard for me...

Anyways from what I found out she initiated all this mess within days of finding out about my relationship with my girlfriend. She was even witnessed abusing my girlfriend on the street in front of their houses - saying things like "you will never be the mother of my children", etc, etc totally crazy.

So like I said above the paper chase continued - i got to see my kids only one more time, that was at a restaurant surrounded by my ex wife and her Christian friends. I still remember the day, my kids were perfectly normal around me, I fed them and when we finished my daughter said as she always says "shoulders daddy" and I carried her out to the car on my shoulders - the last time I was to see her for the rest of the year, my son I saw once a few weeks later - took him to watch a movie at a theatre, like always he jumped into my arms when seeing me.

Meanwhile a little later came even more attacks on my reputation, I was now not only accused of raping my daughter, but my son as well... the transcript when something like this:

my son: my father did nothing wrong, can I play with the toy now
psyc: in minute, lets talk a bit more about you and your father, what did he do
my son: ok ok he touched my penis can I play with the toy now?

as unbelievable as it sounds this is the gist of what transpired, all documented officially... a few months down the track it was changed to my "father "hurt" my penis"... *sigh*

And with this comes a restraining order, I am not allowed within 150 meters of my kids, no phone calls, nothing... completely cut off, just like that (think what this means to a father who loves his children more than the world it's self).

And now the bureaucracy kicks in, faceless names on pieces of paper dictating my and my children's lives... a beautiful family in the hands of a callous and uncaring system - if you have ever watched "the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" think the Vogans, it is just like that here.

All this continued until December then the Justice finally decided that they could do a social study with some of their own psychologists, took them 8 months to realise that it might be a good idea to actually investigate the case. I will state now that this mess would have probably been resolved within a week if they had of done this in the beginning, but no I guess they need to justify their jobs by winding things out a bit.

So I get a call from my lawyer, come to the public forum, your ex-wife is there with your kids and Justice psycologist told me that you can see them - this was completely without prior notice, so I quickly rushed to the forum and there they were, my kids... of course things were a little strange at first as they had not seem me for like 8 months, but you know what? In no time they were crowding around me, telling me about what they had being doing at school and such... they even drew pcitures for me to take home, my son drew a picture of a heart with him and I in side my daughter drew a picture of us all together holding hands.

I had a beautiful time with them and the Justice psychologists witnessed it all, this was on a monday, another meeting was scheduled on the following wednesday and friday. My Ex-wife failed to turn up to either of them, she finally agreed to turn up only after being threatened with a police car going to collect them.

So the next meeting happened a few weeks later and the children were completely transformed, they wouldn't look at me, they wouldn't talk to me... it was the most heartbreaking moment of my life, they were completely altered. we had a few meeting after that with the same kind of result and then the Justice psycologists wrote their evaluation.

They had witnessed everything that went on, the knew exactly what has happened, they could see the parental alienation going on and stated as such in their report. They related that they held grave concerns for the mental state of my ex-wife and that they believed I had not done anything to the children. I actually cried when I read that report, I thought that it was all over. Silly me.

So the Psychologists decide to do another study to "make sure"... now get this, because it was december they would go on break for a month so they scheduled for Febuary the next year! Can you believe the idiocy? they break a social study like this midway for over a month? But wait! due to many confusions at this forum the study did not commence until april! I have no words to describe the complacency of this Justice system.. so I can only be quiet.

Ok so after seeing me for the first time in 8 months, they chldren are then cut off for a further 4 months or so... no allowance for me to see them at xmas, my daughters birthday in December, didn't get to see her, my sons birthday in feb, didn't get to see him. Complete callous disregard for my feelings and the needs of my children.

So then the new study starts, the children are completely indoctrinated now, I enter the visitation room, my daughter hides under a cabinet, my son will not look at me, when he does he says that I need to apologise to him for what I did. What can you do? All I could say was that I will not apologise for something we both know I didn't do, that I love them both very much and know that it will all be over soon and we can get on with our lives....

What can you do? Fighting something where the odds are stacked against you in everyway. All I can do is fight, continue. I made the decision early on that I would not give up until I cleared my name and was reunited with my children.

As you know I am from New Zealand, early on in the process I obtained my completely clean criminal records from both new zealand and australia (I had lived there for many years as well) and provided them to the Justice. It is also a fact that I could easily return to my own country if I wished and live a much easier life (financially wise) than I can here. If I was the uncaring monster as described by my ex-wifes psycologist I guess I would, but no I am not this, I am a father who loves his children and would live in hell for them if required (actaully it's been like this the past almost two years.

Ok so we finish this next social study and the psychologists come out with their final evaluation, basically the same conclusion as the first one, although in my opinion not hard enough as they called for further studies. In my opinion it was already done, any one but a complete and utter fool could see that I was completely innocent in all this, and much worse I was being framed in a most horrible of way.

So finally with this and much back and forth our lawyer and the Justice we finally manage to get the Judge to order supervised visits between me and my children, commencing this September past, every second weekend for 4 hours.

4 such scheduled meetings have passed, I have to travel far into the city to attend and I have done so each time hoping to finally get a chance to talk and play with my kids properly for the first time since this all started early 2009.

My ex-wife has not turned up to any of these meetings. I have gone to each meeting and sat waiting. I see the other kids their with their fathers and mothers, but I sit alone until they ask me to leave - they only allow me to wait for 30 minutes after that the force me to leave. I would wait in there the whole 3 hours if I could. I wait outside anyway.

So in conclusion I can write of a small victory today (each victory gives great hope, even if small). My ex-wife and her psychologist attempted to nullify the statements from the Justice psychologists. They accused that I had somehow "seduced" them with my charm and good looks and made their statements biased. They wanted this study thrown out and a new one to commences. Again I am pretty speechless.

They Judge I believe is finally starting to understand what is transpiring here firmly rejected this petition to nullify an official Justice sanctioned study of me and my children. For this I am very thankful.

Oh we have also filed criminal charges against the Psychologist for moral damage against myself and my children, I want to see her rights to practice revoked so that at least she can't do this to someone else.

A lot more has gone on, but the above is about the guts of what has happened since I last posted here. Those first posts were made by a person in a state of shock basically and i can tell you I am now a lot stronger than I was back then - these type of circumstances have a way to either make you or break you and I have grown very much during my trials and tribulation. I will never give up on my children and will keep fighting this to the end.

I am very confident of clearing this all up, just not sure how long it will take. Thanks for reading!

**largactyl1** · 17 November 2010, 02:28 AM

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your troubles.

This planting of horrible images into young children's minds is awful. During the '80's and early 90's in the U.S. (probably in the UK as well) children at the heart of the various Daycare witch hunts were questioned in such a way that they had no option but to finally agree with what they were being asked - e.g. being asked to point as to where they were touched on anatomically correct dolls (these dolls when used properly are useful to decipher what or if anything has happened to a child), but the questioner not letting up until the genitals have been pointed to (also, anatomically correct dolls are a novelty to children, so they'd be pretty interested in all of the bits not present on Barbie or Action Man); leading questions; asking questions in a closed group style (i.e. either/or - e.g. did the man touch you with his penis or his mouth, no open option); rewards being offered, but subtly only given when the "correct" answer is given; repeated questions by an adult (or adults) who the child want to please with the "correct" answer. I would suggest that any psych. who uses these methods is guilty of serious professional misconduct.

These methods have been discredited for obvious reasons. It is assaulting a child's mind and implanting terrible things that can have such a powerful affect on their lives.

I hope that you have success in clearing your name and ensuring no further harm is done to your children.

Best wishes
Jen

**Saffron** · 17 November 2010, 04:22 PM

Thanks for the update Adam. I am pleased that you are feeling positive.
Keep on keeping on. Come back here whenever you need to - you can rant and rave as much as you like!

Saffron

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Accused of sexually abusing 4 year old daughter

Accused of sexually abusing 4 year old daughter

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