My son needs help

[Angie1959]

My son was accused of rape by his then girlfriend, last July, he was arrested and put in a cell they took all his bedding of his bed to test, the police took his statement and he addmited that he and the girl attempted to have sex but he couldn't go through with it, as in his words it didn't feel right, my son and the girl who accused him are only 13 years old.

After spending the whole day from 7.30 in the morning until 8 o clock in the evening at the police station my son was bailed to come back at the end of August to either be re-bailed or sent to court depending on what evidence they found, the day before we were due to go back to the police station the officers who arrested him came to my home and told us we did not need to go back to the police station, there was no charge to answer to, they told us that the girl had made three statements and they were all found not to be credible, they actualy shook my sons hand and one of them gave him a hug and told him they believed his statement over hers.

You would think that would be it over and done with, I wish it was, my son has gone from an happy well adjusted boy to a deeply disturbed and depressed boy, I am trying everything I can to help him, he has terrible panic attacks about school, because the kids at school found out what he was accused of, by the girl and her family and they just wont leave him alone, the fact that she goes to the same school has him, and has walked away scott free after falsley accusing him doesn't help at all.

I am so afraid that unless I can get proper counciling for him he is going to hurt himself, he is under the doctor and the school councilor but they just don't seem to be having any affect.

I just need to get my son help.

[Saffron]

Hi Angie
I am so glad that the criminal case was NFAd, that must be a load off your mind.
Unfortunately the repercussions of a false allegation do not end when the police investigation does. That the girl goes to the same school as him is very unfortunate, and she seems to have wasted no time spreading her malicious allegations. Have you already spoken to the Head, and what advice were you given? this girl should not be allowed to continue spreading her falsehoods. Your son is being bullied for something he didn't do, and that is very wrong.
It might be worth instructing a solicitor to write a letter to this girl and her family, warning her to back off, or you will seek a harrassment order. Have you reported it to the police? You are well within your rights to insist they investigate her for attempting to pervert the course of justice. They may well not do anything, but the threat of it could be enough to make this girl back off.
As a last resort, have you thought about your son moving to a different school? Of course, it should be the girl and the bullies who should be removed from the school, but in reality this is very difficult to do.

I suggest that in order to gain the closure you and your son both need, you report the bullies and the girl to the police, citing harrassment. The police are duty-bound to investigate, and will be able to set the record straight.

Good luck, I hope all goes well for you.

[RFLH]

Hi Angie, it may be worth checking the social networks to see if she's posting her lies on there as well. If she has you may be able to take action against her.

[Mr Rosa]

Hi Angie.
Firstly my heart goes out to you, your son and your family. It is a devastating thing you have all been through.
I am in my forties, my trial was in early 2007 and I am still very much on my path to recovery.
After my trial I had a meeting with the arresting officer. She informed me that during training, the allegation of rape is likened to that of murder. This was the severity of the now quashed charge.
Perhaps the school counsellor might be the wrong person. Have you tried to find one privately. maybe a specialist. Your doctor might have a number or the Yellow Pages. I pay £30.00 per session. I did have to try out a couple first. A counsellor might help to clarify your sons thoughts and feelings. Might your son be persuaded to join a club or something. Maybe out of the area, martial arts can be a good one.
Things will never be the same, but he can decide whether they will be better than they were. This will take a long time.
Good luck to you both.

[Angie1959]

Thankyou to everyone for replying, as of today my son is still trying to go to school but is finding it very hard, the problem is that everything that has happened to him has left him with a fear of school because he has panic attacks, when anyone mentions the incident he loses his temper and feels so out of control that he may hurt someone and get put back in a cell, he is terrified.

His dad and I are in talks with his school and the possibilty of a home tutor has been mentioned as well as moving school, myself and his dad feel that a move to another school may not be the best option, we are afraid that if the kids find out why he has moved then, kids being kids he would have the same problems without anyone in the school to back him up.

We are also waiting for an appointment to come through from CAMHS it is a childrens mental health group, so fingers crossed it wont be long before he will get the help he needs to continue with his life.

I just want my wonderful happy boy back