how do i cope

[joyk]

My son was acused 11 months ago and now the case is going to court very soon. I am so worried that he could go down for something he is adamant he didnt do, and I believe him. How do you go about probably saying goodbye to your son for 10 years. I love him and want to give him all the support I can but I am barely hanging in there, any advice would be most welcome.

[Rights Fighter]

Have you read other posts on this subject? There is an abundance of advice on here if you look through.

I hope it goes the right way

[joyk]

Thanks for replying. Its nice to no at a time like this there are others going through the same things. I was overwhelmed by the fact that there are so many innocents in prision, and it really frightens me. I am going through hell at the moment,and it may seem defeatest to you but the only way I feel I can get through this is to prepare myself for worse case senario, and anything else will be a bonus.

[Rights Fighter]

You have the right attitude - if the worst case scenario happens then distressing though it will be, it won't come as a massive shock, which will make things 20 times worse.

I do hope thing turn out with the right result.

[Unregistered]

Never give up

Hi my heart goes out to you, as a mother of a son who has been in prison for the last 4 yrs.The best thing is A get a good solicitor who deals with rape,and not any solicitor ,as we found out let my son down so badly,we will never forgive them,as long as we live.You fight with the truth every day and never give up.Ihave spoken to people that you only ever see on telly ,it is so surpriseing where the inner strenth comes from,but believe me you become so strong when you are fighting for the innocent.You must prepare youself and be strong for him,and listen to him at all times as he must be so frightened. I can only say god bless and stay strong you have to be his strenth,and most of all NEVER GIVE UP.

[joyk]

how do I cope

Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I find it unbelievable that there are so many inocents in prison. Its the not knowing that is killing me. Not knowing if he is charged what life in prison will be like for him, how he will cope because he is not the most street wise person in the world and sees only good in everyone, until this happened of course. How have you been able to cope. My every waking thought is what is going on and I cant concentrate on anything or even make plans. Im frightened to laugh, incase we end up paying for it in some way. How can one person do this to another human being. You take care, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and you stay strong too. Joyk. x

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Joy

I thought you said in the first post that the case is going to court.

In the last post you said:

Not knowing if he is charged what life in prison will be like for him,

Do you mean "not knowing if he is convicted?" He must have been charged if it's going to court. Is this magistrates or Crown court?

[Never give up]

Never give up

Hi you asked how do Icope every day, the answer is you have no other choice but it is so surpriseing you do you have to.Yes I cryed buckets,every day for weeks,Iwould be a lier if Itold you Idid not.Why do these people do this, if Icould answer that one Iwould,. some say for attention, some say for the money,some say because they are married and can not say they have had an affair, so hay they cry rape.So many reasons but they ruin a man's life for life.Do not worry to much about him in prison,the men become a family,they have to but they do know the innocent from the guilty,and the older men do help the new men and show them how to get by every day,they talk to them and guide them on the do's and dont's on prison life.Make sure he get's plenty of letters from the out side,from friends and family as you find out your real friends when some one you love has been accused of this.My son has been so lucky his friend's have been their for him all the time,as they know no way is he guilty of this,and girls that I don't know have wrote such lovely letter's to me, and told me what a nice guy he is and no way would he do this to any body.One thingIwould say is make sure he has some money on him when he goes to court,as if he is found guilty he will need money for soap and a flannel, and razors ,tooth brush and tooth paste and for his phone card, as he will have to put money on so he can ring you.Ipray to god he does not get found guilty with all my heart,Most of all make sure you send him his P/O as they need money for there spends i.e.as above and sweets andany thing they will need .Don't get me wrong prison life is not easy ,but he will get by like all the other men, they don't get a choice, only to get by one day at a time. God bless you all and don't forget NEVER GIVE UP.

[joyk]

Thankyou for your reply. I will stay strong and thank you so much for the advice. I pray to god that things turn out well for him, but at the end of the day 12 strangers will decide his fate. I was worried about life in prison for him as he is a big softie and was worried that he would be picked on. Its nice to know that there will be those there who will keep an eye out for him. I will keep you in my thoughts, and thankyou for taking the time to contact me, as Im sure your life isnt a bed of roses. My mum god rest her used to say you get an inner strength from somewhere, and shes right, but as you know it isnt easy. This forum has been a god send and restores you faith in human nature a bit to know that strangers care. God Bless and take care of you and your son. xx