No charges laid.........thank god for that

[aussieguy]

Hi all,
I haven't posted on here for a few weeks since the initial arrest and accusation of rape.

Further to this, i had spent a long 6 weeks waiting and waiting hoping that the investigation would eventually clear my name.

6 weeks in and i received a few phone calls, and facebook messages from various people, some who were ex-friends of the accuser, telling me that she always makes stories up and that one reason she may be lying was due to the fact that she has a boyfriend and it's the only way he wouldn't get angry with her.

All of this i no longer have to worry about, i received a phone call 2 days before christmas from the detective that was investigating the allegation, she informed me that no charges were to be laid, however if the alleged victim wished to pursue it to a higher level she was in her right, however the detective sensed that this girl was lying and that she will just leave it be.

My girlfriend who i love and adore has stuck by me throughout it all, and now we can finally move on and look at rebuilding our relationship to what it once was.

I thank everyone on here who replied to my threads, as at the time, you feel like you have no-one to speak with, and the anxiety/worry builds up to such a high level that i can understand why some people start to get suicidal thoughts.

To all those who are innocent but have been accused, i have a few helpful tips which i used to help me get through it.

1. Tell the truth - make sure in any formal interviews etc that you are 100% truthful. If you are innocent, it will show through any evidence and the investigation. The police will always try and find ways to prove you could have done something such as any lies or giving them no cooperation. The best thing to do is to tell the truth.

2. Make sure you let a close family member or friend aware of your situation - Its hard having to deal with an accusation, but even more harder if you do it alone. I told my parents, my girlfriend and a best mate, and they stuck by me throughout it all and provided me with the motivation to keep living my life in a positive frame of mind.

3. Keep busy & stay positive - its sometimes easier to let the negative thoughts enter your mind such as "what is going to happen to me", "what if the justice system makes a mistake" etc etc, but i found the key was to keep myself thinking positive, dismiss any negative thoughts instantly and you'd be surprised how they go away. Keeping busy was also a major thing that helped me through this, as i was working harder than i'd ever worked before and the day would almost be through, without me having to think about my situation too much.


I would never wish what i have experienced upon anyone, and i definately think that there is a massive gap in the law which protects those accused of sexual assault. Usually if charged, the old saying "mudd sticks" arises with people and the media forming their own opionions.

Just stay true to yourself, if you didn't do it, eventually it will come to light. And at the end of the day, you will realise who your true friends are.

All the best guys wishing you all a happy new year

[RFLH]

I'm very pleased to read such good news!!

Good tips to follow - I Just wish that plod would take note of point one!! And of course, no moving of the goalposts.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Aussie Guy

To echo RFLH good points you make but the police do not always see the truth when somebody is being honest.

I am so pleased for you!!

[kskc]

great news

congrats on the good news, my husband has been doing all that but still amounts to nothing. some people have luck, others are just in this world to suffer.

at least we know the police sometimes get things right.

[Rights Fighter]

The thing KSKC, each case is different, the backgrounds of the cases are different.

I am so sorry you feel alone at this time of the year. I will be online through until midnight so if you want to email me please do feel free.

[Saffron]

Great news Aussie Guy, I hope you can now move on and rebuild your life. Glad you found the forum to be of help!

[Unregistered]

The charges were dropped but...

I was falsely accused of rape about three years ago and had to endure a very intimidating experience in front of the local CID. The 'victim' finally admitted that it was consensual and the charges were dropped but the police then informed me that the allegation would be permanently attached to my record and that it would be used should any other future allegations be made against me. This allegation will forever prevent me from getting certain jobs despite the complainant providing NO evidence whatsoever and even going back on what she'd said.

I'm extremely angry that my accuser wasn't charged with wasting police time and that I am still recorded as having this allegation made against me. I was told that I was to have no future contact with her and I upheld that happily, after all, as I said to the cops at the time why would I WANT to have any contact with somebody who'd tried to ruin my life? However, when she saw me in the street I had abuse hurled at me by her and her miserable cronies. I was treated as if I was totally guilty, despite her retracting her allegation, I was made to feel that the police were annoyed that they couldn't get the charges to stick. It still haunts me to this day that I was accused of such a dispicable crime. After it happened I hardly left the house except for work for seven months and took to drinking very heavily. Thankfully I'm over the worst of it now and in a loving relationship with a great woman. Sadly she doesn't understand why I'm refusing to socialise with her sister's new squeeze who's a cop.

My accusor subsequently got pregnant but I heard through the grapevine that she had no idea who the father was, it was certainly unlikely to be the guy who thought he was her boyfriend at the time, turns out she's a very unsavoury character, there was me thinking she was a nice girl. I hope her brat gives her hell.

There's no justice and the police are the most corrupt gang out there, it sickens me that I'm forced to pay for their 'services' when all they've ever done is harrass and intimidate me, many of my friends and members of my family. I'm not saying any of this lightly either, my mother is a former police officer and she's as sickened as I am about the way in which the allegation against me was handled and the way in which her calls to them have been handled. She was once told to go and deal with a gang of youths who were throwing stones at her windows at two in the morning because the police were too busy. She was a single woman in her mid fifties living alone at the time. Every time I, my family and my friends have called the police we've effectively been told to deal with it ourselves or that no crime had been committed. Once I called the police because a neighbour of mine was badly assaulted and had knocked on my door for help, when the police arrived they accused ME of doing it! Ever seen a cop get a speeding ticket served against them? No, me neither. A cop I know has admitted to beating up suspects and then him and his colleagues covering it up. I've seen them smoking in their vehicles whilst on duty and speeding in residential areas whilst not displaying lights or sirens. They're just government funded mobsters and I have absolutely no faith in them at all.

All I hope for now is that they never call on me again, I certainly shalln't be calling them nor shall I try to help people in distress lest I'm accused of being an accessory to their suffering. When I see a cop car or a cop in uniform I'm filled with dread and bitterness...

And all I ever wanted was to live a quiet, lawful life....