Feeling Down

[Rights Fighter]

And she got paid for lying too - it happens here. Not only does that come out of the public purse, so does the £50K+ per year that it costs to keep an innocent man in prison, plus hundreds of thousands of pounds to keep his wife and family on welfare benefits and when he's done his time he's unlikely to get a well paid job. so it's cost the country thousands and thousands of pounds - all on the basis of lies.

Men make false allegations of sexual abuse too although these are more likely to be guys who were brought up in care, accusing carers and/or teachers.

[Saffron]

Hi Not Guilty and welcome

To be honest, whether you were in a relationship, married or single at the time of the alleged "assault" is immaterial. What is important is that you didn't do it. My husband was (and still is) married to me when he had consensual sexual contact with a colleague, and he ended up in prison for it. I was briefly outraged at his actions, but in my heart i knew he would NEVER have sexually assaulted anyone. One look at his face told me he was already being punished wayyyyy beyond anything i could inflict.

Thank you for sharing you very personal story. Sounds to me as though being a police officer actually counted against you - are there many people shouting about Police Corruption in Aus? maybe they wanted to make an example of you.

the other thing i would say is that in cases of a sexual nature, juries Do Not Listen. they instantly assume that "something MUST have happened, otherwise s/he wouldn't be here today". and of course, the "victim" gets to hide behind their screen, which gives an automatic inference of victim status.

I hope you can get through this. Your wife sounds like an absolute superstar, and kudos to you for recognising that. Good luck.

Saffron

[Not Guilty]

thankyou

hi saffron. this is Not guiltys wife. Thankyou so much for your kind words. I completely understand how you feel. God, I thought I was the only one. I once had a heated arguement with one parole officer who wanted to meet me and she insulted my intelligence stating that "we have to address his offending behaviour". I politely informed her that people dont just get out of bed one morning after leading law abiding lives and say "gee, I feel like sexually assaulting someone I know today and losing my job, family and going to jail". It does not work like that. I too knew in my heart and soul that my husband WOULD NEVER do that to a woman. I live with him, I know him most intimately, I know his beliefs and yet, a total stranger is telling me how to feel. I am also a police officer and have dealt with countless sex assault victims and know when they are not being honest. I feel as though there is no end to this madness however, you can not escape the truth. In the end, it will ALWAYS prevail. I am not a highly religous person but I once heard this phrase and believe it "God see's everything....he just waits".

[RFLH]

Hi Not Guilty's Wife - all I can say is well done to the pair of you for sticking through it

and

God's list is getting mighty long now so I think it's about time He started striking a few through!!

PO's over here don't live on the same planet I swear they don't - I'm banned from attending with my husband as I'm too argumentative!

Can't think where they get that idea from ...........

[Saffron]

Hi Not Guilty's Wife

It must have been even harder for you, as a police officer, to be so badly let down by the very justice system you work to uphold. I had total faith in our system until it bit us so badly. Now I feel betrayed, not by my husband, but by our system. the sense of injustice never goes away. As you said, a normal, law abiding man doesn't just suddenly decide to become a sex offender one day. But an attention-seeking drama-queen with a history of taking recreational drugs is still considered a more reliable witness!
you are not alone. Keep strong and keep fighting the good fight.

Saffron

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Not Guilty's wife and good on you for sticking with him - you're one in a million!"

One of PAFAA's members is an ex police officer as is his ex partner (who is still supporting him).

He had a lot of support from his fellow police officers but since his appeal failed they've not been forced to desert him - it is a case of "your career and pension or you continue to support this man". With families to feed and mortgages to pay they didn't have much choice - although he knows that they still support him in their hearts.

It is easy to discredit the police in these cases and some of them really do deserve the criticism however many do not.

[Not Guilty]

thats exactly right. Someone who can consume 15 drinks and say that they were sober and have their evidence accepted as reliable in a court of law.....funny hey. You stay strong too and thankyou from my heart for all your kind and supportive words. There are not many kindrid spirits around anymore but I dare say...you are one of them.

[Not Guilty]

rights fighter

I think that there are things in life that are meant to test our faith, not only religeously, but mentally. Our husbands/wives are our friends first and foremost so it was never a question of leaving. I copped alot of grief at work and believe me, it wore me down. My daughter was only 9 weeks old at the time and it was the loneliest time of my life. We have only one child and can not have anymore children. my worst memory was her first birthday, christmas without her daddy. Very special moments that we will never be able to share together.

[Saffron]

My husband's accuser initially claimed in court, under oath, that she had drunk 4 bottles of beer and one tequila. Under cross examination, she admitted that she had actually consumed 8 bottles of beer and 4 tequilas. I like a drink, but if I'd had that much I would be on the floor dribbling, and would not honestly have much recollection of what had happened!

[sgl101]

well its been a week since i was charged, still feel really down and have court thursday to get my first hearing date and first set of evidence.

just not sure what i should be doing, i run my own business and im always planning and setting goals and moving forward, but with this i feel im not going anywhere and im just waiting ad waiting and i feel so out of control

Steve

[Not Guilty]

Be Prepared

Hi sgl101,

The best advice I can give you is leave no stone unturned. Anything that you can find that shows this person is lying - hire a private investigator, do whatever it takes but do not leave it to the investigating police. Whilst it is a police officers duty to include in the evidence anything inculpatory or exculpatory - things have a way of being "overlooked" or misplaced. And I am by no means saying that the police are doing that on purpose - but your matter may be one of many that they are investigating and they may not be able to pay full attention to you. So one thing you don't want is any type of conviction as at Appeal, all the Court can look at is points of law that may or may not have been administered at trial. I made the simple error of thinking if I told the truth, I would go home. The fact of the matter is that the Court system has nothing to do with telling the truth because if it did - we wouldn't be on this site would we. People can walk into Court, place their hands on a bible and swear an oath that they will tell the truth - knowing full well they are lying. Get the best advise- shop around for the best lawyer. I took second best as far as the lawyer stakes went and that was the biggest mistake. There are no magic words that can make your situation any better. Whilst you may be surrounded by friends and family, your pain is your own and nothing said here will stop the pain. But channel that into constructive thinking and not destructive as emotive thoughts can be your downfall. It would be easy to say get on with it - but with this hanging over you, there can be nothing more on your mind than to clear your name - to that end leave no stone unturned. My thoughts are with you.


Sincerest regards.

[sgl101]

Hearing as been dated for 10th of November !!!

how long is this going to hang over me !!!???

[Not Guilty]

Every case is different

I wish I could tell you. It has been seven years for me, I still have nightmares, mood swings, panic attacks, but each case is different. One thing I noticed I was doing was trying to convince everyone I didn't do anything wrong. The thing you must remember is that the people that know you don't need to be convinced. One thing that will happen at court is they will dissect every word and notice every action. The best thing to do is write down everything that happened that gave rise to the allegation - keep a diary, you may think of something away from home, but it is important to write things down as they come to mind. Nothing is trivial - that is one thing. It would be very easy to say just get on with your life - prepare for the worst, and if it doesnt happen, that is a bonus.'Remember, you are placing your life into the hands of twelve people (jury) and may be influenced by their own personal view. They say it is innocent until proven guilty - wrong. You have to change a jury;s preconceived idea that a woman would not lie - lets face it - that is the one principal that hinges on your freedom or incarceration - this person has lied. That is why it is so important to prepare - if the person lied, why lie? What possible motive would they have, what would they gain or conversely what would they loose that would force them to lie. If you can investigate and provide evidence of motive to lie and proof that they have lied, then that can be placed before the jury. I am sure others on this site that have been the subject of a false complaint will also say that there is always some form of motive behind the allegation.

[sgl101]

I was accused in feburary, Charged in July, and police still havent released the evidence to my solicitor !

and im expected to be trial ready 10th november

is there anything i can do ???

Steve

[Not Guilty]

Need to Hurry

Hi Steve,

I don't know what the law is in Britain but over here the prosecution must have the brief of evidence served well in advance of trial. It is imperative that you get all evidence straight away and have it analysed. Great care and scrutiny of all of the points of evidence, no matter how small and insignificant is required simply because everytime you can contradict the evidence of the prosecution, the more doubt you create. Innocent until proven guilty is not a phrase I hold dear - guilty until you prove yourself innocent is more the phrase. And that is how you must approach your matter - Sit down and right comprehensive notes about the time of the allegation, anything said, any minute detail that can assist in your defence. But most importantly do not wait any longer, get that evidence and thoroughly prepare for your defence. There are some very professional people on this site that can give you legal advice about the non-submission of the brief (complaints to police etc) that pertains to British Law. And hold your head high, the moment you drop is the moment that depression, self doubt and self loathing kick in - My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.