what should i do?

[del]

hi, i dont know how to sart this but here we go. i was in a 2 year relationship up until february this year, we were even engaged twice but she cheated on me twice and called the engagement off. since we broke up there have been many arguements about her sleeping with or going out with friends of mine. i didnt hear from her for a few weeks until this last wednesday i went to a shop with a girl who is a friend of hers ( who has been a very good friend to me and given me support since myself and my ex broke up as i took it really hard)she txt me later saying basically that i forced her into having sex with me while we were together. i can honestly say that any time we had sex throughout the 2 years we were together it was consentual, but now she is spreading malicious rumours saying that i raped her. she has not reported this to the police at all. as people on here can guess i am very angry that she is accusing me of this and would like to ask for some advice as to what i should do about this. i was thinking about going to see the c.a.b but thought id come on here to see if there was something else i should do.any help would be greatly appreciated

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Del

There isn't much you can do unless plod come a-knocking on your door. You might want to take out a defamation of character (slander) but that would cost you and may not succeed so you would be lumbered with the costs. Further it might provoke her into making an official complaint.

A letter from a solicitor firing a shot across the bows might suffice, to stop her spreading malicious gossip, but there again it might provoke a reaction that you don't want.

If your close friends and family don't believe her then I would suggest you weather the storm. Can you PM me her full name in case she's falsely accused somebody before please?

[del]

thanks im just going to see a solicitor next week to find out wot i can do. As far as i know she hasn't made an official accusation about anyone but she has said to me that someone she had a fling with beginning of last year while we were on a break sacred her into thinking he was going to rape her

[Rights Fighter]

She sounds like she bears the hallmarks of a "false accuser" in the making. Of course what she says in that case, could be true, that he really did scare her into thinking she would be raped. But it could also be an attention seeking lie You need to do some homework on her.

[del]

well i've just spoken to a friend that has talked to her yesterday. She has said that if i take her to court for slander then she's going to be taking me to court for what she's accusing me of. If this had really happened don't you think she would have made an official complaint already and not using this as ammunition against being sued for slander?

[Rights Fighter]

I agree with you. I wonder how often she's done this to get attention and then prevented action by threatening to go to the police. Have you tried talking to the ex who is supposed to have made her feel "scared" she's going to be raped? I bet he's got a similar tale (to yours) to tell.

If you had done this you're hardly likely to sue her for slander are you? Sounds like an evil witch to me.

[del]

she is an evil witch. I guess this is wot i get for getting into a relationship with someone thats younger than me. Immature girl who doesn't understand the implications of her accusations

[lemming]

Spot on - and by the time she realises how serious the situation is it'll be too late for her to back out (either people knowing she's a lying cow, or possible charges being laid against her for wasting police time). Scary thought.

Steer clear of the *****. She'll be as surprised as you that anyone (by anyone, I mean the police - who are duty-bound to investigate) might take her seriously. Except she won't show it, she'll probably lap it up.

And make sure you keep safe any evidence like text messages etc, and any evidence she's a serial accuser, as RF says.

The Voice of Gloom has said his piece

[del]

its a little difficult to steer clear of her completely as we both hang round with the same group of friends in the same places but we havent talked face to face in months apoart from me saying hi if i passed her somewhere(just to get dirty looks back). i have saved every txt she has sent me. i was just starting to get over her and started seeing someone else then 2 weeks after she knows im seeing someone else she accuses me of this.

[utterlydestroyed]

Hi Del

Can you PM me her full name in case she's falsely accused somebody before please?

Hi RF

I did not realise anyone was gathering names?

Is it legal to reveal the name of those who have made a false rape allegation?

If so I can add to your list.

UD