dealing with a false accusation

[Unregistered]

To Whom It May Concern:

I’ve been reading different threads and people’s stories. I am not here for legal advice. But, rather to share my story with other in hopes that someone might learn from it. I would also like to commend the people here for helping individuals in their most dire time of need. For the past several years I have been dealing with what happened to me and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I have found solace in reading other people’s stories and I hope mine will help someone as well.

About four years ago I went through the toughest time of my life. I had a one-night stand with a female and the next day she falsely accused me of rapping her. We met at a fraternity party (I was in college at the time) from a mutual friend. Her and a friend were drinking heavily, but I was also. When we dropped them off she started to undress and asked if I was going to stay. In the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t a good idea, but I wasn’t thinking with the right head. We had consensual intercourse and afterwards I left. The next day the mutual friend didn’t answer my phone calls. Later that day he ran into me and threatened my life. I was absolutely lost and had no idea why he would such a thing. Another friend of mine contacted him to find out what was going on and told him that the girl said I had rapped her. I was floored. Long story short, he didn’t want to talk to me but we eventually spoke about the situation about a day later. I told him the details of the night and he told me her side of the story. She said that I rapped and beat her. Anyone that knows me can attest that I might be a lot of things, but a women beater and a rapist I am not. She ended up changing her story a few times. She ended up saying that she didn’t remember much of the night and that I didn’t hit her. I spoke with the friend that was with her that night and I told her what happened. She was very understanding about what I was going through and said that she would help in any way she could. And, come to find my accuser had a boyfriend at the time. This whole situation really f@#ked me up in the head. She never pressed charges and nothing ever came of the ordeal, but I have had a hard time with dealing with the fact that someone is saying this about me. I recently contacted the mutual friend to see if she ever came clean about what happened. He said that she’s pretty much dropped the whole thing, but her husband came up to him and confronted him about what happened. So, apparently she is still telling people that she was rapped.

I know I’m fortunate that nothing came about in all this, but it is sill overwhelming when I think about it. Having someone say these terrible things about you is like being rapped yourself. I know if this went to court I would most likely be spending the next decade behind bars. I feel for everyone that has went or going through something like this. My prayers are with you all.

Best wishes,
A Friend

[Saffron]

Thank you for sharing your story.
It sounds as though your accuser falls very tidily into one of the main brackets for Reasons For Making A False Allegation: Alibi. She had a boyfriend (or husband) and felt guilty for having a drunken shag with a relative stranger. therefore it is easier for her to excuse her behaviour by claiming she was raped. Simple.
I hope for your sake that nothing does come of this. just because nothing has happened yet does not mean it won't in the future. Don't want to scare you, just a thought. Historical allegations are very difficult to disprove.

S

[Unregistered]

Thanks for the reply Saffron. This is something that has been with me for a long time and will always be with me. I’ve managed to move on with my life, but have recently been thinking about what happened to me. And, the possibility that something still might happen with it. What do you mean by “historical allegations”?

[mark]

Thank you for sharing your story.
It sounds as though your accuser falls very tidily into one of the main brackets for Reasons For Making A False Allegation: Alibi. She had a boyfriend (or husband) and felt guilty for having a drunken shag with a relative stranger. therefore it is easier for her to excuse her behaviour by claiming she was raped. Simple.
I hope for your sake that nothing does come of this. just because nothing has happened yet does not mean it won't in the future. Don't want to scare you, just a thought. Historical allegations are very difficult to disprove.

S

historical allagations are also very hard to proove,thankfully as many are made up.
but it my case i could and did proove without any doubt it was all lies,yet the police refuse to do anything at all to the accuser.

[Justice4men]

To Whom It May Concern:

I’ve been reading different threads and people’s stories. I am not here for legal advice. But, rather to share my story with other in hopes that someone might learn from it. I would also like to commend the people here for helping individuals in their most dire time of need. For the past several years I have been dealing with what happened to me and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I have found solace in reading other people’s stories and I hope mine will help someone as well.

About four years ago I went through the toughest time of my life. I had a one-night stand with a female and the next day she falsely accused me of rapping her. We met at a fraternity party (I was in college at the time) from a mutual friend. Her and a friend were drinking heavily, but I was also. When we dropped them off she started to undress and asked if I was going to stay. In the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t a good idea, but I wasn’t thinking with the right head. We had consensual intercourse and afterwards I left. The next day the mutual friend didn’t answer my phone calls. Later that day he ran into me and threatened my life. I was absolutely lost and had no idea why he would such a thing. Another friend of mine contacted him to find out what was going on and told him that the girl said I had rapped her. I was floored. Long story short, he didn’t want to talk to me but we eventually spoke about the situation about a day later. I told him the details of the night and he told me her side of the story. She said that I rapped and beat her. Anyone that knows me can attest that I might be a lot of things, but a women beater and a rapist I am not. She ended up changing her story a few times. She ended up saying that she didn’t remember much of the night and that I didn’t hit her. I spoke with the friend that was with her that night and I told her what happened. She was very understanding about what I was going through and said that she would help in any way she could. And, come to find my accuser had a boyfriend at the time. This whole situation really f@#ked me up in the head. She never pressed charges and nothing ever came of the ordeal, but I have had a hard time with dealing with the fact that someone is saying this about me. I recently contacted the mutual friend to see if she ever came clean about what happened. He said that she’s pretty much dropped the whole thing, but her husband came up to him and confronted him about what happened. So, apparently she is still telling people that she was rapped.

I know I’m fortunate that nothing came about in all this, but it is sill overwhelming when I think about it. Having someone say these terrible things about you is like being rapped yourself. I know if this went to court I would most likely be spending the next decade behind bars. I feel for everyone that has went or going through something like this. My prayers are with you all.

Best wishes,
A Friend

Hi

It is unfortunate that in this day and age incidents of false accusations are still being made in this world, the effect it can have on an individual is catastrophic. I myself worked for a leading health club operator in a very high profile job position, the woman who made the serious false accusations against me, despite never going anywhere near a police station even after I told her lover to drag her their! and to which whom I found out later she had had 6 lovers during her marriage to her husband!, lead me to lose a good career, a huge sum of money, many friends, my home, in which resulted in suffering from depression, having to take medication, being suicidal and yes attending counselling sessions.
At the time I had asked for guidance from Central & Strathclyde Police! Scottish False Allegations Authority! The Scottish Law Society in Edinburgh! And enquired numerous Solicitors about my case in which three where willing to take it on with unfortunatly an astronomical fee of £15.000 +.
It is absolutely imperative the law is changed to protect men against such a woman that I encountered, one thing that I will say is take one day at a time and not expect to be the person you once where, time is a healer yes! but when the vast majority of men have encountered what I myself went through, you do and will become fearful of any physical contact with woman for some time to come.

I only wish I had found this website earlier because if I did my accuser would definatly be behind bars after wgat she did to my life!!

Thanks

Justice4men

[mark]

thanks for your reply,i will persivere with the police trying to get them to act,if i dont i know this girl will certainly have my house bricked/set on fire whatever.she is evil and the police need to act on these type of things,if you are innocent then the accuser should rightfully be jailed.
i feel i have been raped of all my rights as i assume any innocenmt man would,and i believe it is a disgrace that these individuals get away with their false accusations,something needs to change so they are jailed for the effect it has on breaking up entire families and the personal damage this does to a man. thanks again for your reply. all the best mark.

[Justice4men]

False Rape Accusations...The Law must be Changed once and for all!!

Hi

It is unfortunate that in this day and age incidents of false accusations are still being made in this world, the effect it can have on an individual is catastrophic. As you would have read my story i myself worked for a leading health club operator in a very high profile job position, the woman who made the serious false accusations against me, despite never going anywhere near a police station even after I told her lover to drag her their! and to which whom I found out later had had 6 lovers during her marriage to her husband!, lead me to lose a good career, a huge sum of money, many friends, my home, which resulted in me suffering from depression, having to take medication, being suicidal and yes attending counselling sessions.
At the time I had asked for guidance from Central & Strathclyde Police! Scottish False Allegations Authority! The Scottish Law Society in Edinburgh! And enquired to Solicitors about my case in which three where willing to take it on with an unfortunate astronomical fee of £15.000 +.
It is absolutely imperative the law is changed to protect men against such a woman that I encountered, one thing that I will say is take one day at a time and not expect to be the person you once where, time is a healer yes! but when the vast majority of men have encountered what I myself went through, you do and will become fearful of any physical contact with woman for some time to come...for me it has been 4 years and still ongoing!

I only wish I had found this website earlier because if I did my accuser would definatly be behind bars now after what she did to my life!

Thanks

Justice4men

[sonoffalselyaccused]

My Dad is being Falsely Accused!!!

I know from experience how vindictive a female can be, even a family member. My dad is standing up against accusations of molestation and rape by my own sister, his daughter (19 yrs old). How could somebody be so cruel and munipulative? I would like to know the same thing. But I have yet to speak to her since this all arose. I'm afraid a confrontation would lead to my arrest. That would accomplish nothing, but more power in her favor.
I have no doubt whatsoever about my dads innocense. We, my family know he is not capable of such things. But knowing and proving are two different things. In todays society, all it takes is an accusation. You must have done it, otherwise why would a girl/woman say such a thing? So then the man is left to prove his innocense, save his life, his family and keep his sanity in the meanwhile. No matter how innocent you may be, there are always those out there that will jump on the train and believe the accusations the girl is throwing left and right. Which the story seems to keep changing and growing every time we turn around. By the way, this female like to be the center of attention and believe me, she is eating up all the attention from this.
And what victim goes around telling her story to anyone that will stop and listen. In a true rape/molestation situation, most females do not want to talk about it,
unless they have to. It is demeaning and shameful to relive. But the female in our case has spread it to the world and back. Has even ran into old friends in the mall and proceeded to tell her little epic. This female (aka: my sister) is a very sick individual, that hopefully will be broken down before this is all over with. She deserves to suffer, the way she has made my dad suffer with her lies. He's lost a number of so called friends, but his family is behind him 100%.
One way or another, the system has to be changed. These vindictive girls/women have to be stopped and held accountable.
For anyone's information: If you are accused of a sex crime and arrested,
it will be listed if anyone (such as business) runs a background check on you.
Does not matter whether it has been to court yet or not, does not matter if
you have not been found guilty or not, it is still listed on your background. If
you are found NOT GUILTY, you will have to fight tooth and nail to have the
arrest record removed. They do not remove it willingly. My feelings are, until you are proven GUILTY, you name should not appear anywhere besides court records, lawyers, bondsmen, etc. Our local newspaper prints indictments every week, with your name and the crime your accused of. An indictment is not a guilty verdict by no means. So the newspaper shouldn't even have access to this information. Like I said, someone needs to start changing these laws to protect all the people. My dad has always been a very strong man, tough as nails. Believe me though, this kind of thing can break you down
to the very core. By the time this is all said and done, it will have cost my parents in the $175,000 range and they are nowhere close to being rich.
I know this has pushed both of my parents to the very edge, but the hardest part in all of it, has been their inability to see their 3 grandchildren. Now that
they are both older, they lived for the grandchildren. They focused alot of their energy on THEIR BABIES. Now they've been ripped from them, with no
way of knowing if they'll ever be able to see them again or not until their are grown. That's a tough pill to swallow for both of them. But they've done their best to lay it all in the Lord's hands and trust that he will bring them through
this storm. We just wish we knew her reasons for committing this horrible
vengeance against my dad and our family. I do feel very strongly that her
boyfriend has a hand in it all, because my family did not care for him nor his family at all.

[sonoffalselyaccused]

My Dad is being Falsely Accused

I know from experience how vindictive a female can be, even a family member. My dad is standing up against accusations of molestation and rape by my own sister, his daughter. How could somebody be so cruel and munipulative? I would like to know the same thing. But I have yet to speak to her since this all arose.
I have no doubt whatsoever about my dads innocense. We, my family know he is not capable of such things. But knowing and proving are two different things. In todays society, all it takes is an accusation. You must have done it, otherwise why would a girl/woman say such a thing? So then the man is left to prove his innocense, save his life and keep his sanity in the meanwhile. No matter how innocent you may be, there are always those out there that will jump on the train and believe the accusations the girl is throwing left and right.
And what victim goes around telling her story to anyone that will stop and listen. In a true rape/molestation, most females do not want to talk about it,
unless they have to. It is demeaning and shameful to relive. But the female in our case has spread it to the world and back. Has even ran into old friends in the mall and proceeded to tell her little epic. This female (aka: my sister) is a very sick individual, that hopefully will be broken down before this is all over with. She deserves to suffer, the way she has made my dad suffer with her lies. He's lost a number of so called friends, but his family is behind him 100%.
One way or another, the system has to be changed. These vindictive girls/women have to be stopped and held accountable.
For anyone's information: If you are accused of a sex crime and arrested,
it will be listed if anyone (such as business) runs a background check on you.
Does not matter whether it has been to court yet or not, does not matter if
you have not been found guilty yet, it is still listed on your background. If
you are found NOT GUILTY, you will have to fight tooth and nail to have the
arrest record removed. They do not remove it willingly. My feelings are, until you are proven GUILTY, you name should not appear anywhere besides court records, lawyers, bondsmen, etc. Our local newspaper prints indictment every week, with your name and the crime your accused of. An indictment is not a guilty verdict by no means. So the newspaper shouldn't even have access to this information. Like I said, someone needs to start changing these laws to protect all the people.

[wessex]

I've been falsely accused myself,and as such do know how a lot of you feel.

The real problem is that most cases come down to no real evidence,only word of mouth.
Women know they can settle an old score in a very permanant way,and that even if the defendant is found not guilty they have very little chance of being conviceted for false accusations.Also even if convicted most will serve less than 6 months.

On the other hand many men have got away with rape because there is very little evidence if they know,or were intimate with the accuser.Most rapists are known to the victim.If a man jumps out of a bush on the common,then rapes there is evidence.A date rape on the other hand is very unlikely to have this.And if reported later there will be only one word against the other.

I've heard figures that estimate a third of convicted sexual offenders are innocent,a third guilty,and a third where they're not sure.Alarming if true,but also alarming must be the amount of guilty people who got off,or were never charged etc.

I personally think it comes down to acting ability.Whoever convinces the jury wins.Nothing much to do with justice.

I do think we need to change the law,perhaps some kind of investigative magistrate,like in France.Let them go gather the real picture.Lie detectors et al.The accused has the right of silence.The accuser in my case wasn't even cross questioned properly.She was encouraged to talk,but nothing there about being cross examined.The CPS seem to have made no real effort to investigate,they just charged.
Sexual offences are hard for everyone involved,so a real investigation early on could save both time and money,reduce suffering,and give us all a better chance of justice.