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Hi there. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this.
It might be a lengthy one as I feel I need to explain quite a lot. So if you do read through it all and offer some advise, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Last year I attended a LARP event. I've been frequenting these events for the past two years. I had really good friends there and just love the experience every time. While there, I met a girl who we will call L. L seemed rather interested in me from the start, but she was only 16 so I tried to keep my distance (I am 22). We got along well though. We were friendly with one another. On the Saturday night, we were sat together with a few friends, having a drink and a laugh. She wasn't drinking too much, and she wasn't that drunk. My friends could see that she was interested in me and started playing a game of 'truth and dare' with me and her to see if they could make something happen. I remember being uncomfortable due to her age. They dared us to "Go into the woods for five minutes and see what happened." I looked to her and specifically asked if that was what she wanted to do. She said yes. So we moved off together. She wasn't showing any signs of being particularly drunk, walking in a straight line, speaking clearly. We came across an empty tent and decided to duck inside. When inside she asked me, "Do you want to just sit here for five minutes or...?" To which I replied with, "We can do. We don't have to do anything really." She came up to me and kissed me. We ended up totally trashing that tent. Everything was on the floor. (In the morning I went to clean it up but someone had already done so for me. I felt very bad). We undressed, she sucked my penis, and I asked her if she wanted to have sex. She said yes and we got naked together. As I went to grab a condom, she told me there was no need because she was on the pill. She also told me that she was a virgin, so I thought it was a strange mix. But I didn't question it. L ended up riding on top of me and asked me to do strange things like choke her. At one point, she told me part way through to stop. And I did so without question. We lay together for a bit just cuddling, neither of us had climaxed. We eventually got dressed and she went back to her tent while I returned to mine.
The next day, she was rather angry with me as someone had found out that we had sex and confronted her on it. I managed to get her to calm down and we ended up having breakfast together. In fact, we spent a lot of that day together. In the evening, we went to the bar and met up with some friends. She didn't have anything to drink. L was touching my leg underneath the table and was clearly enjoying herself. We ended up going back to our factions campsite where everyone was sat around drinking in a big circle. After a while, she went to leave and I moved after her to see if she was alright. She said she was fine and invited me back to her tent. Because I'm an idiot and we had already had sex once, I decided sure, why not. So we went back to her tent together, and we ended up having sex again. We got naked, she rode on top again, and part way through she said to stop again. We did, but this time we ended up staying the night together cuddling. In the morning, I kissed her goodbye and went back to my own tent. Later on that day when everyone was leaving the event, she came up to me and gave me a hug, saying goodbye. We left on good terms. Even after that, she was messaging me on Facebook specifically saying that she enjoyed my company and had a fun time. She blocked me a few days later.
A couple of months later, I get an email from the LARP company telling me I've been banned due to accusations of rape. I was bewildered. I had no idea how these accusations managed to come about. But it took a toll on my mental health. I ended up pushing away loved ones, I lost my job, friends. I ended up going to a voluntary police interview where I showed them all the evidence that I had to support my innocence (Which is a fair bit). Screenshots, eye witnesses and my own statement. It turned out that L had lied to the police and told them that we only slept together on the Saturday, and the reasoning behind it all was that "She was too drunk to give consent." Which simply isn't true. I ended up giving the police a 13 page statement. And within two weeks, the case had been dismissed by the CPS.
I thought that was the end of it. I went back to the LARP company and told them that there was going to be no further legal action. They told me they wanted to do their own investigation to ensure they made the right decision. Which given the circumstances is totally fair. I complied with them every step of the way, gave them whatever they wanted and told the full truth. Eventually after quite literally begging down the phone to the owner, I was allowed to come back.
However, L caught wind of this. She was part of a group at LARP who we will call the Tripeeps. The leader of this group who we will call K (Yeah it's getting a little complicated now) was outraged. Turns out, a while ago one of my friends had messaged K who was acting as L's legal guardian. She had told K that myself and L had had a drink together and sex. To which K immediately replied without any context, "That's rape." I think that K went to L and confronted her on the issue, and brainwashed her into thinking she had been raped. So, K got her whole group of Tripeeps to post all over facebook and the LARP community page in one coordinated move. Posing as "Solidarity." They claimed that L had been forced to drink, groomed, and raped. In their posts, they also never mentioned the second night that we spent together. Everything they said was overemphasised, false or just a flat out lie. And I could do absolutely nothing but look through the mass of outrage and distress that was sparked from this. People were upset, angry, demanding my blood and the blood of the LARP company that unbanned me without any facts or truth.
It only lasted a weekend, but the damage was done. I couldn't say anything because people would've just told me I was victim blaming. So I sat there quietly and hoped it would blow over. However, not too long ago the company messaged me and told me that they want me to stay away for the full year. People who used to be my friends had turned against me, wanting nothing to do with me. I felt lost and alone. I'd lost everything, financially, socially and mentally.
A friend of mine confronted K to talk about the lack of facts in her post. The arguments she gave made absolutely no sense. She was aware of the Sunday night L and myself spent together, but she said that I followed her back to her tent and raped her again. Which makes zero sense. That would've meant following her through the entire site, past the refs camp, got into her tent and somehow raped her within whispering distance of every single person who was camping around us. K also mentioned before she blocked my friend that "This is a rape victim reliving her rape through another rape victim." So, it's personal. She has been hurt before and now is taking it out on me.
I want an outcome to this where I can happily go LARPing again. Where I can fix the relationships with those that I once called friends. Where this nightmare will be over.
Despite it all, I feel that L has been manipulated. She's young and scared, and I wish she would've come and spoke to me. My ideal scenario would be the two of us being able to go back to LARP together. To put this situation behind us and move forward. But I don't know how I can do that.
It might be a lengthy one as I feel I need to explain quite a lot. So if you do read through it all and offer some advise, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Last year I attended a LARP event. I've been frequenting these events for the past two years. I had really good friends there and just love the experience every time. While there, I met a girl who we will call L. L seemed rather interested in me from the start, but she was only 16 so I tried to keep my distance (I am 22). We got along well though. We were friendly with one another. On the Saturday night, we were sat together with a few friends, having a drink and a laugh. She wasn't drinking too much, and she wasn't that drunk. My friends could see that she was interested in me and started playing a game of 'truth and dare' with me and her to see if they could make something happen. I remember being uncomfortable due to her age. They dared us to "Go into the woods for five minutes and see what happened." I looked to her and specifically asked if that was what she wanted to do. She said yes. So we moved off together. She wasn't showing any signs of being particularly drunk, walking in a straight line, speaking clearly. We came across an empty tent and decided to duck inside. When inside she asked me, "Do you want to just sit here for five minutes or...?" To which I replied with, "We can do. We don't have to do anything really." She came up to me and kissed me. We ended up totally trashing that tent. Everything was on the floor. (In the morning I went to clean it up but someone had already done so for me. I felt very bad). We undressed, she sucked my penis, and I asked her if she wanted to have sex. She said yes and we got naked together. As I went to grab a condom, she told me there was no need because she was on the pill. She also told me that she was a virgin, so I thought it was a strange mix. But I didn't question it. L ended up riding on top of me and asked me to do strange things like choke her. At one point, she told me part way through to stop. And I did so without question. We lay together for a bit just cuddling, neither of us had climaxed. We eventually got dressed and she went back to her tent while I returned to mine.
The next day, she was rather angry with me as someone had found out that we had sex and confronted her on it. I managed to get her to calm down and we ended up having breakfast together. In fact, we spent a lot of that day together. In the evening, we went to the bar and met up with some friends. She didn't have anything to drink. L was touching my leg underneath the table and was clearly enjoying herself. We ended up going back to our factions campsite where everyone was sat around drinking in a big circle. After a while, she went to leave and I moved after her to see if she was alright. She said she was fine and invited me back to her tent. Because I'm an idiot and we had already had sex once, I decided sure, why not. So we went back to her tent together, and we ended up having sex again. We got naked, she rode on top again, and part way through she said to stop again. We did, but this time we ended up staying the night together cuddling. In the morning, I kissed her goodbye and went back to my own tent. Later on that day when everyone was leaving the event, she came up to me and gave me a hug, saying goodbye. We left on good terms. Even after that, she was messaging me on Facebook specifically saying that she enjoyed my company and had a fun time. She blocked me a few days later.
A couple of months later, I get an email from the LARP company telling me I've been banned due to accusations of rape. I was bewildered. I had no idea how these accusations managed to come about. But it took a toll on my mental health. I ended up pushing away loved ones, I lost my job, friends. I ended up going to a voluntary police interview where I showed them all the evidence that I had to support my innocence (Which is a fair bit). Screenshots, eye witnesses and my own statement. It turned out that L had lied to the police and told them that we only slept together on the Saturday, and the reasoning behind it all was that "She was too drunk to give consent." Which simply isn't true. I ended up giving the police a 13 page statement. And within two weeks, the case had been dismissed by the CPS.
I thought that was the end of it. I went back to the LARP company and told them that there was going to be no further legal action. They told me they wanted to do their own investigation to ensure they made the right decision. Which given the circumstances is totally fair. I complied with them every step of the way, gave them whatever they wanted and told the full truth. Eventually after quite literally begging down the phone to the owner, I was allowed to come back.
However, L caught wind of this. She was part of a group at LARP who we will call the Tripeeps. The leader of this group who we will call K (Yeah it's getting a little complicated now) was outraged. Turns out, a while ago one of my friends had messaged K who was acting as L's legal guardian. She had told K that myself and L had had a drink together and sex. To which K immediately replied without any context, "That's rape." I think that K went to L and confronted her on the issue, and brainwashed her into thinking she had been raped. So, K got her whole group of Tripeeps to post all over facebook and the LARP community page in one coordinated move. Posing as "Solidarity." They claimed that L had been forced to drink, groomed, and raped. In their posts, they also never mentioned the second night that we spent together. Everything they said was overemphasised, false or just a flat out lie. And I could do absolutely nothing but look through the mass of outrage and distress that was sparked from this. People were upset, angry, demanding my blood and the blood of the LARP company that unbanned me without any facts or truth.
It only lasted a weekend, but the damage was done. I couldn't say anything because people would've just told me I was victim blaming. So I sat there quietly and hoped it would blow over. However, not too long ago the company messaged me and told me that they want me to stay away for the full year. People who used to be my friends had turned against me, wanting nothing to do with me. I felt lost and alone. I'd lost everything, financially, socially and mentally.
A friend of mine confronted K to talk about the lack of facts in her post. The arguments she gave made absolutely no sense. She was aware of the Sunday night L and myself spent together, but she said that I followed her back to her tent and raped her again. Which makes zero sense. That would've meant following her through the entire site, past the refs camp, got into her tent and somehow raped her within whispering distance of every single person who was camping around us. K also mentioned before she blocked my friend that "This is a rape victim reliving her rape through another rape victim." So, it's personal. She has been hurt before and now is taking it out on me.
I want an outcome to this where I can happily go LARPing again. Where I can fix the relationships with those that I once called friends. Where this nightmare will be over.
Despite it all, I feel that L has been manipulated. She's young and scared, and I wish she would've come and spoke to me. My ideal scenario would be the two of us being able to go back to LARP together. To put this situation behind us and move forward. But I don't know how I can do that.
though I'm familiar with battle re-enactment groups? If it's anything like this could you find another group elsewhere where no-one will be aware of the 'history' and make a fresh start?
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