Living the nightmare

[Cannotbetrue]

Hi Everyone. I joined today. My partner has been accused of committing child rape and the alleged incident happened 30plus years ago. I wholeheartedly believe this did not occur. We have been living this nightmare for the last 7 months no contact from the police until last night when they wanted more info before sending the file to the CPS. My partner is a shadow of himself and last night they explained even if nothing occurs the fact he was accused stays on the file and forms part of any DRB check should he wish to apply for any other job. He is now viewing his life as over and is in such a state. So the nightmare never ends. Wrongly accused and then his life is ruined how can this be. We both havent looked at the internet with regards to this as it could lead to all sorts of concerns. But I have had enough and need to do something. He has a solicitor allocated via the courts but I dont know if we should try and get one although we dont have much money. Feel like we are fighting for his life but apart from the initial interview and last night call there has been nothing.

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum, though sorry to hear of the circumstances that brought you here.

I've copied your introductory post to this section as any responses will sit more appropriately here.

To help members offer suitable support would you be able to clarify his situation as you mentioned he'd had an interview and then heard nothing else for 7 months (this is par for the course as many members will confirm!) bu in your post you mentioned he'd had a solicitor allocated by the courts.

There is usually no court involvement until a charge is brought?

He has a solicitor allocated via the courts but I dont know if we should try and get one although we dont have much money. Feel like we are fighting for his life but apart from the initial interview and last night call there has been nothing.

[Franticwithworry]

Hello, Cannotbetrue. Welcome, though I'm sorry you need us.

I'm sorry too, that your partner is in such a state, but not surprised. Please encourage him to talk to his GP as there is help available and his life is not over. I can attest to that. My man was on bail for a longtime and the case almost went to court, but here we are, getting our lives back on track. I know it feels as though your lives will never be the same again and you and he are both distraught, but your brains are suffering physical trauma and will take time to recover.

I'm guessing that you mean a 'duty solicitor' rather than a court solicitor, but you don't have to stick with the one who turned up on the day. Unfortunately, it's not unusual to hear nothing for months on end. Since the law changed in 2017 and people aren't put on bail in the same way it's much more likely that you don't get any updates, which is dreadful for everyone, genuine victims as well as the falsely accused.

My best suggestions are 1 - to call a few specialist solicitors and pick on one to call on if needed (the statistics are in your favour and most cases like this are dropped but better to be prepared than not.) There are lots of solicitors who do legal aid though they don't get paid for any pre-charge work. That said, most will give you a little of their time to reassure you on the process and let you know if they can and will act for you if necessary. Don't worry about locality, many work nationally these days. If your partner gets called for a second interview for instance, unlikely but possible, representation for that is legally aided and it's good to know who you want to call. Some will also give the OIC a call for you to ask for an update as a sort of courtesy. If they don't there's nothing stopping your partner calling every 4-6 weeks or so and asking. The likely response will be 'the investigation is still ongoing' because it can be a long, long wait, but at least he won't feel that he's been forgotten, or unable to find out what's going on , even if it's 'nothing' for now.

2 - consider asking for medical help. There's no shame in it and it can help, at least in the short term. It's a devastating thing to be accused of and it's no wonder that you are both thrown for a loop.

3 - remember and remind him that there is a national epidemic going on. You aren't alone in this and there is lots of support around online. THis is the only anonymous forum I know of but there are various support groups on Facebook if you use that - accusedme, Falselyaccusedsupportandchat and #metoofalselyaccused for instance. They are closed groups so there is some protection there.

4 - browse here. there is lots of information and though it's a quiet forum, there are people who come in and can offer support and advice. It might not mean that there's an instant response though.

Hang in there and come back with questions if you need to. :-)

[Peter1975]

Hello and welcome to DM, CBT.

Frantic offers some good advice as always and I will just add that there is some good advice on these pages regarding historical allegations and how to prepare a defence so it's always recommended to make use of DM's search function.

The quality of legal advice varies and so it is highly recommended to seek out tried and trusted solicitors. Our own recommended sols thread is in the useful information section. The older more established FA groups may be able to recommend others ( see below )

In addition to Frantic's recommendations for further help, I will add the following;


PAFAA has both anonymous forums and a facebook group ( see my signature below )

FACT ( falsely accused carers and teachers ) has been running for 20 years and offers support and information for those accused of abuse in an occupational setting.

FASO ( false allegations support organisation ) offers support and advice via email and telephone support during weekday evenings.


The answer to your question is yes, an arrest or voluntary interview does stay on your police record even if no further action is taken, however, the decision to disclose this to future employers is at the discretion of the chief constable and any decision to disclose can be challenged. In practice, less than 1% of non conviction information is disclosed and this is generally only on an enhanced DBS for those working with children or vulnerable adults.

Depending on your husbands area of employment, it may not show up at all or it could come back stating simply "no convictions".

There is no reason to think that life is over, as FWW says, the chances are that this will go no further but even if it does, there is plenty you can do to mount a defence, overcome obstacles and most importantly, stay sane in an insane situation!

Good luck, keep posting for support.

[soulbug]

I have only skimmed through the replies, so I may of missed if someone has asked this very important question.

How old would your husband have been 30 years ago? As Doli incapax may apply if you husband was under the age of 14 when the alleged allegations are been reported to of happened..

[Pond31]

Hi

I am sorry that you have had to end up here but this is a very good place to start. All the previous posts have been very useful. Unfortunately this is a long journey to start but we are here to travel with you. We shall advise you on the best routes and actions to take. Be sure to look for support yourself and just be there fore you partner.

Take Care
Pond31