Ann

[Ann]

I have been living in a nightmare since my husband was falsely accused of sexual assault a few weeks ago. I have been trawling through these pages looking for help and solace but really hoping he wouldn't be charged. However he is due to answer bail tomorrow and the solicitor was told by the police today that bail has not been cancelled and has therefore told my husband to expect charge.

I know enough from this website to know not to post details but suffice to say that my situation is very like Saffron's. I totally believe in my husband's innocence and I can't believe the CPS have decided to charge. If the police action is to caution then he cannot accept his - because he is innocent and he would loose his job. I believe he would have a very strong case in court and he is quite strong at the moment as I think he now just wants to prove his innocence. I am totally standong by him an dwill testify in court.
I have realsied reading through this site that the key thing is to get a good solicitor / barrister . I wondered if somebody could pm me so that I could give you my location and then you could give some advice.

I am so very, very frightened - I have told very few people - none of our family know at present . We both have very public jobs - I am scared about -if/ when it will hit the local press/ will he lose his job- his pension? how can we afford a good solicitor / barrister / how am I going to keep going at work

Please help

[Saffron]

Hi Ann

oh dear. I know exactly what you are going through. feelings oscillate wildy between absurd confidence to desperate fear.
I'm afraid that I can't recommend a solicitor for you, but i will PM Rights Fighter and ask her to get in touch - she is an expert in these matters. A good solicitor may be available on legal aid, but if not, it is definitely important that you find the money somehow. If I had known then what I know now, i would have remortgaged the house, taken out a loan, anything.

If your husband is charged, it would be worth telling a few more people - the more emotional support you have the better. it may not make the local press until it gets to court, if it does get that far. The CPS are increasingly likely to prefer charges in these sorts of cases, simply because rape/sexual assault is such a political hot potato.

Depending on what your husband's job is, he may not be sacked as soon as he is charged, unless he works with children or vulnerable adults. and even then, the correct procedure would be for him to be suspended until the case goes to trial. Of course, if his employers desperately want him out, they could concoct something that is classed as Gross Misconduct, so he needs to make sure he is beyond reproach. When R was sacked, his employer failed to follow vital procedures, and we took them to a tribunal. although we didn't win, the judge still ruled that his employer had acted negligently. (we lost because he had served a prison sentence, and the tribunal found that he would have lost his job anyway, seeing as he was in prison. but they still acknowledged that the company had abused his rights as an employee). If you want to do something pro-active, have a look at ACAS for the guidelines on "best practice" for these kind of things. www.acas.org.uk

The other thing I would suggest you do is go and see your GP. S/he will be able to refer you to a counsellor, which you may find useful.

Good luck. I know how dark and frightening this is. And if your case is like mine, then you have the added burden of knowing that it was a stupid infidelity by your loved one that has put you in this situation. Your husband is lucky to have a strong and faithful partner like you. Let me know how you get on, or PM me if you would like to chat.

Saffron

[RFLH]

Hi Ann as Saffron says, we know how you must be feeling - once you know for sure what's happening you'll know how to start fighting it. RF will give you help and advice on the legal side - but for just general questions that you'd rather not air on this site - have a look at PAFAA.org.uk and join in with people who are/have been through what you are going through.

We don't bite and we do have a few laughs to relieve the stress of it all.

[Rights Fighter]

I have PM'd Ann twice - just back from Exeter and going sailing tomorrow - over to the Isle of Wight (another prison visit...... )

[RFLH]

I feel a chorus from Rod Stewart coming on!

[Ann]

Thank you

For those of you who have read this and are concerend about me I have been in personal contact with Rights Fighter and Saffron as i don't want to be giving much away on a public forum Please pray for me if you feel able

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Ann

Yes I got your email just now. I'm a bit overwhelmed with work at the moment but I will get back to you on Sunday as RFLH says.....

I am sailing....I am sailing....to Park-Hurst....Far Away!!!!!........

Sunday I will have gathered my thoughts as I am now catching up with things at the moment due to my day away from my desk.