Struggling to cope with Rape accusation!

[Heisenberg]

Hi, I’m 19 years old currently. Last year I was involved in an incident which led to me being falsely accused of Rape. But what makes this different from a lot of others is the fact that I did actually have sex with a girl but she was underage. I won’t go into to much detail, but she was insistent that she was 16 (I was 18 at the time) and I even checked her Facebook and it said she had left school. She also looks older than me (she was 14 at the time) I haven’t actually been charged yet but I still worry into deep depression every single day, and I feel disgusted at what has happened and also great shame. What will happen because of the fact that I had consenting sex with her in total belief of her age?

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

Can I just clear up one point first, did the encounter happen in the UK? The reason I ask is because of the Germanic nature of your chosen username; the laws in Germany, though broadly similar, will have nuances our members will not be familiar with.

To help members offer relevant advice, could you clarify whether the girl (or her parents!) has reported the allegation to the police and if you have already been interviewed by them.

On the assumption that the answers to the above are 'yes' this link may be helpful:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

Obviously if you have specific proof on screen or phone that she said she was 16 or over this would be helpful for any defence, similarly any pointers that you were in a relationship rather than a one-off encounter. It would be useful to document/save any such evidence.

If you are not related to the girl or in a position of authority over her and she is not 'vulnerable' then the fact that you were not considerably older than her at the time is a positive for you.

[Heisenberg]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

Can I just clear up one point first, did the encounter happen in the UK? The reason I ask is because of the Germanic nature of your chosen username; the laws in Germany, though broadly similar, will have nuances our members will not be familiar with.

To help members offer relevant advice, could you clarify whether the girl (or her parents!) has reported the allegation to the police and if you have already been interviewed by them.

On the assumption that the answers to the above are 'yes' this link may be helpful:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

Obviously if you have specific proof on screen or phone that she said she was 16 or over this would be helpful for any defence, similarly any pointers that you were in a relationship rather than a one-off encounter. It would be useful to document/save any such evidence.

If you are not related to the girl or in a position of authority over her and she is not 'vulnerable' then the fact that you were not considerably older than her at the time is a positive for you.

No, I was watching a tv show at the time of writing the post and it’s off that. I’m in the UK. It happened at a small house party with a few of my friends and a girl and her friend. We didn’t know them before the night but we had seen them on the street and my friend asked them to come. So they came. I had sex with one of the girls and for some reason I know this doesn’t sound good, but two of my friends did stuff with the other girl in the other room. I had no knowledge of this at time. When I had went home the police arrived just after and collected two of my friends and the two girls, and I believe this was when they said they had been raped( even though the sex was consensual) I think that there parents had called them police and discovered their location through snapchat( the girls had been ignoring calls from their family throughout the night as they didn’t want to go home).

[Casehardened]

Thank you for the clarification and further details; it's difficult to know what to say, there's no mileage in giving false hope but on the other hand it may well go nowhere. We usually say " prepare for the worst & hope for the best [outcome] "

Unfortunately, whilst it may well be that the girls accept sexual activity was consensual and may not wish to make any formal allegations, the [angry?] parents could be pushing the buttons and of course where a girl is under the age of consent, sexual intercourse is technically rape.

Against this rather negative scenario, provided the girl is over 13, if the person accused has reasonable grounds to believe the girl was over 16 and intercourse was consensual, this is a defence against the allegation.

I'm afraid it will be a waiting game, though as you mentioned this happened last year, you have been waiting for quite a while already; presumably you were released 'under investigation' rather than bailed?

[298]

No, I was watching a tv show at the time of writing the post and it’s off that. I’m in the UK. It happened at a small house party with a few of my friends and a girl and her friend. We didn’t know them before the night but we had seen them on the street and my friend asked them to come. So they came. I had sex with one of the girls and for some reason I know this doesn’t sound good, but two of my friends did stuff with the other girl in the other room. I had no knowledge of this at time. When I had went home the police arrived just after and collected two of my friends and the two girls, and I believe this was when they said they had been raped( even though the sex was consensual) I think that there parents had called them police and discovered their location through snapchat( the girls had been ignoring calls from their family throughout the night as they didn’t want to go home).

Hi H

As has been said this is not your normal false allegation as from the sound of it what you say it was consensual apart from the fact she was 'unable' to consent as she was underage.

Again as has been said your ages are close and you met as 'equals', this does not make it right but, it sounds like you made efforts to check she was over the age of consent.

Have you kept a record of what you found when you checked, what made you doubt she was underage and what convinced you she wasn't?
What happened after you had sex and left? - have you kept a record of any communication between you both, did you swap numbers etc?

Its important to keep records of this stuff as you never know what will help show that you are telling the truth.

[Heisenberg]

Hi H

As has been said this is not your normal false allegation as from the sound of it what you say it was consensual apart from the fact she was 'unable' to consent as she was underage.

Again as has been said your ages are close and you met as 'equals', this does not make it right but, it sounds like you made efforts to check she was over the age of consent.

Have you kept a record of what you found when you checked, what made you doubt she was underage and what convinced you she wasn't?
What happened after you had sex and left? - have you kept a record of any communication between you both, did you swap numbers etc?

Its important to keep records of this stuff as you never know what will help show that you are telling the truth.

I have screenshots of the info saying she left school and worked at a company you have to be at least 18 for. I didn’t doubt she was underage I was purely just looking on her profile out of interest. What will happen to me, will I go to prison? I have already admitted to the police that we had consensual sex on the advice of my solicitor?

[Peter1975]

Hello and welcome to daftmoo, although I am sorry to hear of the circumstances that bring you here.

CH offers some wise advice as always and I recommend that you take it.

Bear in mind that none of us are lawyers here and it's easy to get the law wrong but as I understand it;

there is little to no defence if the girl in question had been 13 or under as the law would presume that you as an adult could not have failed to notice this, however, as the girl was 14- 15 then you may have a defence if you can demonstrate that you had a reasonable belief that she was 16 or older - and also that you had a reasonable belief that she was consenting - which it appears you do.

Any evidence that you had some reasonable belief would be helpful as CH says; take screenshots of her social media, preferably with the date and time in the screenshot and share them with your solicitor. Hopefully your two friends will also confirm that you all had a belief the girls were older. Any other witnesses that could help in this way should contact your solicitor

It is always a good idea to write down an account of the event in a timeline while it's still fresh in your mind - being consistent and not relying on memory for details can be very helpful.

I cannot stress enough how important a good solicitor can be. ( you don't mention if you had one when interviewed ) - if we can help with recommending a reliable one with a good reputation then please ask.

To my mind, your defence is a reasonable one and I can just about recall from my own youth that some girls look and act older than the law strictly says they can - as a middle aged old fart I can also appreciate that parents are often unwilling to notice their children growing up, preferring to pretend that they must be entirely innocent - and this would seem to be a factor here - faced with telling their parents the truth or blaming it all on the older guys taking advantage of them, you can perhaps appreciate why they have claimed rape - and this is a position they might find it hard to come back from.

I prefer to try and offer some reassurance here and statistically 80% of these cases do not reach court but sadly, being realistic, this can never be guaranteed and the fact that the girls are under age means there is possibly a slightly higher chance that you may well be charged and have to defend yourself in court. ( hopefully I am wrong about this ) - please don't panic if this is the case, as long as you are consistent in your account you have a very good chance that this will be a lesson learned and just an unfortunate incident in your early life.

Hang in there and keep posting for support.

[Peter1975]

It would seem that all of our posts crossed....

My advice is not to worry about what could happen in the worst case scenario, you are a long way from that yet.

[Heisenberg]

It would seem that all of our posts crossed....

My advice is not to worry about what could happen in the worst case scenario, you are a long way from that yet.

Thanks for your input. This is horrible for me and I do not want to be involved it affects me daily. When do you think I will be charged if I am to be? It’s been almost a year and I have heard nothing?

[Peter1975]

Thanks for your input. This is horrible for me and I do not want to be involved it affects me daily. When do you think I will be charged if I am to be? It’s been almost a year and I have heard nothing?

I understand and I know how awful it is to have something like this hanging over you but I will repeat, try not to imagine the worst case scenario.

The facts as relayed here are that you all had a reasonable belief the girls were older and they were consenting to the activity;

Nevermind their actual age, they would have to give a consistent and believable account for any of you to be charged; if they are lying about what happened then their accounts should show some holes that will prevent a charge.

I'm afraid that there is no knowing when a charging decision might be made, you can take a whole year as a sign that this will swing in your favour and there wasn't enough evidence to charge you straight away but my advice is to not take this as anything at all, the police and or CPS are notoriously slow, try to stay healthy and busy and look after yourself while you wait.

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst is the best advice ever given here but I will always emphasise the hope - there is lots of it for you to hang onto yet.

Remember a charge doesn't mean a conviction.