Need Advice please

[Dumbrell101]

Hi

I have been sleeping with a good friend for a few months now at uni, we recently planned to stay over at hers after my birthday night out. We were both really really drunk but we had consensual sex and just as I was about to come she told me to stop, which I realise now is wrong however I couldn’t stop coming as I was drunk. I left straight away to go and see a friend, after I left she was drunk crying and told our friend that she was raped by myself. She hasn’t gone to the police but said that I should go to her the campus concealing with her so we can ‘heal’ together. I’m not sure what to think and do, as she is still using the word rape and I know the strong connotations that come along with that

[Peter1975]

Hello and welcome to DM, although I am sorry you had the need to find us.

First and foremost, be VERY careful about what you put in writing ( Ie if you are texting with the accuser ) - Do not admit any wrong doing or it could be used against you.

I don't do this job to be popular and I will say what I see; she has some reason to be upset with you and your behaviour is less than expected from a gentleman; What you have admitted here is not the actions of a sensitive or unselfish lover - you perhaps need to accept this part and apologise for your behaviour - you clearly have enough recollection to remember her asking you to stop - You can ask yourself why you didn't until the cows come home but what is done is done.

It would seem she is asking for some kind of dialogue with you - take this as a positive sign and try to smooth this over without admitting any guilt whatsoever.

Remember that EVERYTHING and ANYTHING can and will be used in court against you

Poor behaviour or not stopping in the heat of the moment does not make you a rapist, but perhaps you are a poor lover.

Your defence is always the most plausible one.