Life over

[LifeOve]

So, I'm sat here writing this now, not sure what to write really or say, other than my life is good as finished.


Not so long ago I was arrested and have been charged with various offences of Rape.
The sad reality is I was the victim of different degrees of abuse by the person who has made the allegations against me.

I have suffered multiple degrading questions and experiences since my arrest.

I can't see any light.
The prospect of spending the rest of my life in prison is one I wouldn't cope with and can't face, even more so knowing I haven't done anything wrong.


My case bases itself on simply her word, supported by her verison of events disclosed to someone a long time after.


I feel numb, I feel broken.
I don't have a friend in the world.

I should be planning my life and future now instead of facing down the barrol of a gun.

Since my arrest I've not eaten really, and been unable to sleep at all.
I feel emotionally and physically drained, empty.

I have no faith in the justice system let alone in this world.

This isn't a world I want to live or be in, I feel I'm living a nightmare.

I'll never ever know why someone would want to hurt someone so badly, Irreversibly.

But I am 150% innocent, I really am.
God as my witness, I haven't done the things I am accused of.

I'm living a nightmare, and that nightmare is one I have no escape from.


I haven't. I really really haven't done this.


But I'm being made out to be someone I'm not, someone I'd never be.
She's protected, she's being looked after, yet she's the criminal in all this not me.
Yet there's me, my life is over.

I broke down multiple times in tears in interview, and have done so on a daily basis.

I didn't do this :-(

[Peter1975]

Hello and welcome to Daftmoo LO, although it's always a shame when someone finds themselves here.

First of all, your life isn't over. It might feel like it right now but you can fight this and you can win.

The most important thing you can get is a good solicitor. If you haven't applied for legal aid yet there is time to shop around for a good one if you are not confident with the one you have. Have a look at the daftmoo google map (Link here) and see if there is a yellow flag near to you or where the trial is to be held.

Equally important is for you to get some local support from family and trusted friends.

Get yourself to the doctor and don't be afraid to take some anti depressants to help you through. It's vital that you look after yourself and there is no shame in asking for help.

Talking to others that have been through it can help too. There are plenty of stories here on daftmoo, most of which you will see didn't result in anyone going to prison.


FASO (false allegation support organisation ) have a helpline that is open on weekdays 6pm-10pm, their number is 0844 335 1992 and their website is here:


http://www.false-allegations.org.uk/


Accused.me.uk has a large facebook forum where you can connect with others who may be able to offer support and advice. - They don't mind if you create a new FB profile to preserve your anonymity.


If you are feeling low or that you might harm yourself or just want someone to talk to, the Samaritans are open 24 hours a day, their number is 116 123 and their website is here :


www.samaritans.org


You are not alone, keep posting for support.

[LifeOve]

Hello and welcome to Daftmoo LO, although it's always a shame when someone finds themselves here.

First of all, your life isn't over. It might feel like it right now but you can fight this and you can win.

The most important thing you can get is a good solicitor. If you haven't applied for legal aid yet there is time to shop around for a good one if you are not confident with the one you have. Have a look at the daftmoo google map (Link here) and see if there is a yellow flag near to you or where the trial is to be held.

Equally important is for you to get some local support from family and trusted friends.

Get yourself to the doctor and don't be afraid to take some anti depressants to help you through. It's vital that you look after yourself and there is no shame in asking for help.

Talking to others that have been through it can help too. There are plenty of stories here on daftmoo, most of which you will see didn't result in anyone going to prison.


FASO (false allegation support organisation ) have a helpline that is open on weekdays 6pm-10pm, their number is 0844 335 1992 and their website is here:


http://www.false-allegations.org.uk/


Accused.me.uk has a large facebook forum where you can connect with others who may be able to offer support and advice. - They don't mind if you create a new FB profile to preserve your anonymity.


If you are feeling low or that you might harm yourself or just want someone to talk to, the Samaritans are open 24 hours a day, their number is 116 123 and their website is here :


www.samaritans.org


You are not alone, keep posting for support.

Thank you so much for your reply Peter.

Can you or anyone explain to me what will happen at Crown Court, the first hearing for plea?

I will be rebailed again at this hearing, won't I?

[Peter1975]

Yes, you will be rebailed.

The plea and trial preparation hearing (PTPH ) is basically an administrative exercise much like your earlier mode of trial hearing at the magistrates. It doesn't usually take very long.

You will simply stand in the dock, confirm your name and answer "not guilty" to each of the charges and the legals will do the rest of the talking. Make sure you listen. You can take notes in the dock.

Rough dates will be set for the prosecution to serve it's evidence on the defence, after which the defence will submit a defence case statement, most importantly, a date will be set for the trial.

This may be the first time you will meet your barrister. Take along your notes and make notes while you are there.

Good luck.

[Franticwithworry]

Another one here to tell you that however much it might feel like it, your life is not over. Peter1975's advice can't be bettered so I won't add to it specifically, only to say that you will feel calmer about all this in time. It's a truly horrible thing to happen to a man, and it's not surprising that it shakes you to the core, but hang in there, take good care of yourself, physically and mentally and you will get through this.

It goes without saying that you need a good legal team too, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take all of Peter1975's good advice and keep posting as well. We are here to support you all the way.

[Peter1975]

Peter1975's advice can't be bettered ...

That's very kind of you Frantic but yes it can! I often get things wrong and the best advice anyone can get is from a good solicitor - Sometimes a know it all on the internet like myself might be right but you should always check with an expert.

[Franticwithworry]

I’m suitable admonished. Again you’re right, Peter. I should have said ‘can’t be bettered in this instance’ because I was agreeing with all you had said here.

Checking with an expert is always advisable too of course.

[LifeOve]

Thank you Peter and Frantic.

I don't really know what to say, I feel numb, empty, lost and drained.

For some reason my case has been pushed back now.


I don't want to say too much incase I'm identified on here but, honestly, I will not cope with a trial and I've already had some of the most personal and degrading questions and actions taken against me.

I feel completely lost.

If I can be honest here, I can't wait for the day to come I'm not here anymore.
The whole system is wrong, so many lives ruined yet nothing is done to assist those falsely accused.

I watch my family and partner suffer with knowing they cannot do anything for me right now to change this.

Last week I broke down with my solicitor, I couldn't hold it back anymore.
I pleaded how innocent I am, but even they told me they can't change what is happening.

I'm not giving up and I will try my hardest to see this through and prove that I am innocent but, there's a strong possibility that I'm just not strong enough, and living scares me more now than not.

I want to say this, I honestly, 1500% have NOT done anything wrong.
I am not that type of guy.
I haven't ever had a one night stand, I haven't ever had casual sex, I haven't ever done anything to anyone.

I am the sort of guy who once would of helped anyone, I'd have given my last pound to someone.

I feel broken, and I just don't see anyway back from this.

I feel like I am living a nightmare that never ends, and I have no control over this.


I have not raped anyone, I never would I never have.

I am not that person.

I'd take any test to prove that.

But the sad reality is people accuse people of these nasty, evil crimes and lie, and its people like me, and others, who suffer as a result of a lie that breaks not just the accused but everyone around you.

Then there's those people who think, no smoke without fire.

I just want to curl up into a ball and be left forever.



:-(

[Peter1975]

You really don't have to protest your innocence here my friend, we believe you.

It's ok.

We know how you feel.

You can beat this, no matter what.

You are stronger than you will need to be.

You will get through this, I promise.

[Franticwithworry]

Please remember that the statistics are on your side. These accusations are far more common than most people want to believe and generally are seen for exactly what they are - accusations with no substance. Being charged happens when the CPS have only one side of the story. Now is the opportunity to state yours.

You have support - and you will get through this. If you haven't already, I do recommend that you ask your doctor for some help with the worst of the mental health aspects of all this. There is help available and they are not there to judge. You don't even have to tell them why you are so distressed, only that you are, but you'll probably find that they have heard it all before and are very supportive too.

[LifeOve]

Hi all

Not much of an update.
Still hanging on, just.

I've got to the stage where the other night, I've written letters to people in case, I'm not on this earth anymore.

My worry is, if I disclose how I really feel to a doctor what that might mean for me, if I tell a doctor what I'm intending I feel it'll be used against me at trial to make me out to be unbalanced or such.

I'm living a dark dark nightmare.

I cannot understand on what I've seen how I've been charged, I've seen the ABE transcript and it reads, false, lies, child like and even states it had notes in the interview with it. How is that allowed.

The amount of lies she's told in it, my head is spinning.

My solicitor has said if I'm mental health is too bad an adjournment maybe requested.
Just want any views if possible.


Thanks all, again.

[aguycalledbob]

Hi all

Not much of an update.
Still hanging on, just.

I've got to the stage where the other night, I've written letters to people in case, I'm not on this earth anymore.

My worry is, if I disclose how I really feel to a doctor what that might mean for me, if I tell a doctor what I'm intending I feel it'll be used against me at trial to make me out to be unbalanced or such.

I'm living a dark dark nightmare.

I cannot understand on what I've seen how I've been charged, I've seen the ABE transcript and it reads, false, lies, child like and even states it had notes in the interview with it. How is that allowed.

The amount of lies she's told in it, my head is spinning.

My solicitor has said if I'm mental health is too bad an adjournment maybe requested.
Just want any views if possible.


Thanks all, again.

I read this and thought I don’t really have anything useful to add, and I don’t, but it’s important that you talk about it. I’m much earlier on in this horrific journey than you are, but I know that if/when i get there I’m going to need to stay strong, keep myself busy, have the facts of the matter crystal clear in my mind, and most importantly, talk to people.

I absolutely believe that you need to share how you’re feeling with those around you, and go to see your GP for the help and reassurance that your mind requires. I think how you’re feeling about such a horrific circumstance is entirely normal, and to interpret that as unbalanced would be beyond a stretch.

Remember, we’re here with you through this. Take care of yourself.

[Peter1975]

You need to hang in there my friend


First and foremost, you are not going to let this beat you


Work with your solicitor and barrister - give them the best information you can.

Review everything in the third person - I don't need to hear that the allegations are ridiculous to you - there is nothing to prove here, we believe you if you say you are innocent ( and there is a terrible curse on any guilty offenders that come across Daftmoo ) .....

You need to confront anything the prosecution can seem plausible about and try to make it seem at least dubious - Not impossible as most members here that went to trial can tell you.

Good luck