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Hi all it's been a while and whilst I'd like to say things are back to normal it appears that these things continue long after the trail and not guilty.
As some may remember my partners case got kicked out of court before the trail when the accuser lied to the judge about a previous fa she had made. We enjoyed a perfect Xmas got engaged and was told by ss that he could see his boys again. A week later we were back to having them on weekends and a couple of nights a week trying to rebuild that bond after 15 months apart.
But then I lost my business as a supposedly friend wasn't happy it had all worked out and told all my childcare customers what had gone on. Then 4 months on social service decided that he couldn't have access after all and needed a risk assessment vefore he could see the boys even though the case was thrown out. On top of that he was told he had to move out of mine as the police refuse to complete his dbs and clear his records even though they decided they had no evidence to present.
Long story short it's now 7 months since we walked out of the courts putting the ordeal behind us. He now has to wait till Nov to be allowed to his kids. We have separated as he wont agree to me changing careers and it became impossible to have a relationship where we live miles apart for another year so the miracle engagement we had at Xmas and the relief we felt was for nothing. His ex is threatening to move his kids without telling him across the country and I have nightmares where I wake up on the court room feeling the panic and nerves over and over again.
All I can say is if your going through a fa or your partner is don't dismiss getting counselloring we did as I felt I was fine but the reality hit when it was over and I couldn't cope with what if it comes back. It ate away at us becaise neither of us spoke about it in case we upset each other and now I love fearful of my shadow and have lost everything for the 2nd time because of a silly girls lies.
People are right when they describe the anticlimax at trail I struggled after 2 years of a life where weekends and evenings were spent reading statements and Facebook's to understand what a new life without that was meant to be I couldn't relax. And then ssand the police still try to prolong things. In our case another year after the trail before he can have access to his kids unsupervised. In a way waiting for the trail was easier as we were fighting it together now we both have to fight the demons alone. So accept professional help and talk to each other and don't expect everything to go away immediately when you get the news it's dropped and over
As some may remember my partners case got kicked out of court before the trail when the accuser lied to the judge about a previous fa she had made. We enjoyed a perfect Xmas got engaged and was told by ss that he could see his boys again. A week later we were back to having them on weekends and a couple of nights a week trying to rebuild that bond after 15 months apart.
But then I lost my business as a supposedly friend wasn't happy it had all worked out and told all my childcare customers what had gone on. Then 4 months on social service decided that he couldn't have access after all and needed a risk assessment vefore he could see the boys even though the case was thrown out. On top of that he was told he had to move out of mine as the police refuse to complete his dbs and clear his records even though they decided they had no evidence to present.
Long story short it's now 7 months since we walked out of the courts putting the ordeal behind us. He now has to wait till Nov to be allowed to his kids. We have separated as he wont agree to me changing careers and it became impossible to have a relationship where we live miles apart for another year so the miracle engagement we had at Xmas and the relief we felt was for nothing. His ex is threatening to move his kids without telling him across the country and I have nightmares where I wake up on the court room feeling the panic and nerves over and over again.
All I can say is if your going through a fa or your partner is don't dismiss getting counselloring we did as I felt I was fine but the reality hit when it was over and I couldn't cope with what if it comes back. It ate away at us becaise neither of us spoke about it in case we upset each other and now I love fearful of my shadow and have lost everything for the 2nd time because of a silly girls lies.
People are right when they describe the anticlimax at trail I struggled after 2 years of a life where weekends and evenings were spent reading statements and Facebook's to understand what a new life without that was meant to be I couldn't relax. And then ssand the police still try to prolong things. In our case another year after the trail before he can have access to his kids unsupervised. In a way waiting for the trail was easier as we were fighting it together now we both have to fight the demons alone. So accept professional help and talk to each other and don't expect everything to go away immediately when you get the news it's dropped and over
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