Been FA last friday but no contact from police or ss

[Leach5528]

Where to start last year I split with my ex wife and ended up sleeping with what I believe to be a friend at the time all was consensual and at no point did either one of us disagree well time past she went home and we then met again and went on holiday together a month later camping with my 9yr old son flash forward 12 months I find out she had a child who is mine and claiming rape she lost the child from birth due to previous history and social services involvement I only found out about him because of local authorities came to find me so I do what I believe is right and I dust myself off and try get my son out of care which is where she then starts making up story's of rape and how she didn't want it hell I have screen shot of conversation with parents and pictures of her bump yet now I'm accused of rape I have tried contacting police to find out what's going on but 1 week of no sleep and worrying is this the day they turn up at either work or home is starting to get to me any advice at all please as I thought I would of heard summit by now from police allegation was made on thursday last week

[Franticwithworry]

Hi there, I'm sorry that you have found yourself in the middle of this nightmare, but glad that you have found us here. I'm sure that there will be others along to give you support and advice.

In the meantime I suggest 3 things - 1) write down everything you can think of relating to the circumstances that brought about these allegations, every little detail may matter in the end.

2) do not under any circumstances, ask the police if a complaint has been made against you. Even if there hasn't they will be obliged to investigate whatever YOU tell them. Say nothing until you are asked about it - and you may not be. It seems at the moment there is no guarantee that an official complaint has been made.

3) if the police do contact you do not talk to them without a solicitor who deals with false allegations can accompany you. You do not have to speak to the police alone, and you can choose your own solicitor. It will not cost you anything to have a solicitor with you at interview because it is automatically covered by legal aid. the police will try to tell you that that you will spend HOURS at the police station if you want a solicitor but that is not the point and is a put-you-off tactic. You NEED a solicitor.

If it comes to that, come back here for recommendations in your area if you need them. If you want to, ring round a couple or 3 solicitors dealing with false allegations ahead of time. The good ones will be happy to tell you what the process is IF you are contacted for questioning.

Please try not to panic. Unfortunately, it's not unknown for women to threaten making a report when they have no such intention, just to spread fear and panic. Cross bridges as you get to them, if you can, and come here for support as often as you need.

[confusedme]

Where to start last year I split with my ex wife and ended up sleeping with what I believe to be a friend at the time all was consensual and at no point did either one of us disagree well time past she went home and we then met again and went on holiday together a month later camping with my 9yr old son flash forward 12 months I find out she had a child who is mine and claiming rape she lost the child from birth due to previous history and social services involvement I only found out about him because of local authorities came to find me so I do what I believe is right and I dust myself off and try get my son out of care which is where she then starts making up story's of rape and how she didn't want it hell I have screen shot of conversation with parents and pictures of her bump yet now I'm accused of rape I have tried contacting police to find out what's going on but 1 week of no sleep and worrying is this the day they turn up at either work or home is starting to get to me any advice at all please as I thought I would of heard summit by now from police allegation was made on thursday last week

I am assuming the allegation has been made to you from the women involved not directly to the police.?

[Peter1975]

A belated and sad welcome Leach.

I would second Frantic's excellent advice and emphasise the need for a solicitor, adding that it is much more likely that you would be interviewed voluntarily these days so an appointment would be made and you would meet your solicitor at the station. There would be no waiting in cells for the duty solicitor.

I would also stress that you should not contact the police. The risk is you could essentially be reporting yourself for rape.

Write everything down, keep a notebook with you. Gather as much evidence as you can ( sounds like you have made a good start with the screenshots) and sit tight.

Do you have someone to talk to?

Keep posting for support.

[Pond31]

Hi Leach

You have had very good advise from Franticwithworry and Peter1975. As I techic I shall advise you to e-mail yourself the screenshots that you have mentioned, so you have backups if your phone gets seized. Also backup any texts messages you have from your FA. If you have an Android phone you can get a free App from the store call SMS Backup and Restore, the messages are back-upped to your gmail account. You can also download message sent via Facebook as a zip file.

Pond31